Post by Shot on Aug 22, 2011 7:12:57 GMT -5
Yeah, you don't need to tell me how incompetent I am, how late the show is, how much of a failure this was...I know all of that. I'm sorry for the late show, and I'll assure you things will not go this way the next time. Enjoy.
---
A few pyro goes off as the crowd cheers intensely. The cameras film the entire arena, where many fans have gathered for the first ever Libertarian Wrestling show. The stage features a medium-sized replica of the Statue of Liberty, with the final pyro blast coming out of her torch. The camera cuts to the announce table, with the LW announcing teAM: Ricky “Rico” Cash, Lucius Rose and Amy Mustaine. Ricky Cash is outstandingly fat, wearing a flashy multicolor suit and holding a cocktail, Amy Mustaine is a lovely brunette woman, dressed casually, smiling, and Lucius Rose looks cold and antisocial, trying to avoid looking at the camera.
Ricky Cash: Welcome everyone, to the first episode of Liberty! I’m Ricky Cash, Rico to all my friends and fans, and joining me today are Amy Mustaine and Lucius Rose, and, Amy, Lucius, this is bound to be a great show!
Amy Mustaine: Well you’re absolutely right, Ricky! We’ve got an amazing crowd of three thousand people in our debut show, and they deserve a treat! Tonight’s show will kick off with an extreme first blood match between Ryan “The Reaper” Robinson and Draven Logan Kennedy! Most of the people here remember DLK from his path of destruction in ICW and PCW…Obviously, Leo decided to hire him, and it looks like a good move.
RC: Exactly! After that, we’ve got a singles match, where Stevie Wicked faces one of the young guns, Amped, in their first match EVER! Pretty exciting, huh, Lucius? You’ve been quiet all this time, friend, come on, give us your opinion!
Lucius Rose (rolling his eyes): You want to know what I think?
RC: Yeah, friend! You look too uptight! Sit back, enjoy the party!
LR: I’ve met Amped backstage, those kids belong in elementary school. For any kid with ADHD, wrestling isn’t exactly the best summer job out there. Not to mention how they probably have sexual experiences at night with a can of Red Bull.
RC (slightly nervous): Eh…Hah…There’s nothing wrong about a drink, man! Hey, do you want some tequila? That cheers everybody up, he-hey!
LR: I didn’t know whales could be alcoholic commentators. As a matter in fact, I didn’t know there were whales in Mexico.
AM: Wow, wow, tone it down, man. After the great Amped match…
LR: …Which I strongly recommend as your break time to go pee-pee some Amp down the can...Don’t worry about Amped themselves, they’ll handle flushing their careers down the toilet in a few minutes.
AM (getting annoyed, pretending to ignore Lucius): …Comes a great intergender singles match between Jill Cruz and Kai. Both of them are extremely talented, and this looks like a great match to come!
RC: Yes, but the fun doesn’t stop just there! Afterwards, two teams will fight for a spot at the first LW World Tag Team Championship match, which will go down in a month! The first team to be there will be known today, when The Bull & Ape Alliance meets the Second City Saviors!
LR: Excuse me…Bull and Ape?!
RC: Why yes, friend, what’s the problem?
LR: Would it be too hard to have a serious tag team division instead of the Happy Campers and Ball and Rape? Doesn’t this company know the meaning of competence? And what is it with you always calling me friend? I’ve never seen you before, and I disapprove same sex relationships, so get your mind out of the gutter.
AM (looking on, stunned): You…Disapprove them?! What the fuck are you doing on LIBERTARIAN Wrestling?
LR: Yes, I do not agree with those kinds of relationships. I can tell by your reaction that you’re a lesbian, which is understandable, if you bear in mind that most decent men have criteria in their selections. And to answer your second question, I’m here because I need cash, simply put.
AM: First, I can tell by your pale skin and constant rejection of all women that you are a virgin. Second, where the fuck can you spend money if you pretty much live away from everyone?
LR: I spent it in absolute sound-cancelling earplugs and a manual on how to deal with lesbians. And wouldn’t you know, it’s useful since I landed nearby a counterfeit Texan-Mexican version of Moby Dick and Kensi crime-solver here.
RC: Gah, quit the bad humor! It’s time to party! Anyways, after we’re done with that tag team match, we’ve got a great main event for you! The LW Freedom Championship is contested in a triple threat match between Syn, Liam Reilly and J.T. Banks!
LR: Who really cares? They’re defending that title every week, just a series of boring filler for when we don’t have commercials to air, big deal.
AM: I should ask Leo Hawkins some authorization to slap the holy fuck out of your face.
LR: The Libertarian Party called, they want a LGBT activist to run for Senate. I think Ricky should be there too, no straight man can ever drink a mimosa.
AM (pulling up sleeves, enraged): Maybe I don’t need no fucking authorization.
RC: Wow, take it easy!
AM: How can anyone take it easy with this assclown on the table? I was trying to avoid a fight between you and Ricky, but apparently the fight is on, between US!
LR: Ah…(Provokingly ignoring Amy’s fury) Women in their period. The time of the month where single men can feel good about themselves.
AM: Son of a b-
RC: --Let’s cut to our first match of the night! Libertarian Wrestling is starting off strong with a violent First Blood match, pitting Ryan “The Reaper” Robinson against Draven Logan Kennedy! To our great ring announcer, Tyrone Whitaker, take it away!
The camera cuts to the center of the ring, to the ring announcer who is about to speak.
Tyrone Whitaker: The following contest is the first ever Libertarian Wrestling match, contested under First Blood rules!
The lights go out for a few seconds, "Don’t Fear The Reaper" by HIM hits the sound system, a weird looking blue light covers the arena and Ryan "The Reaper" Robinson steps out on the stage and looks around with a twisted smile on his face, he raises his right fist in the air and holds it up as he walks to the ring.
TW: Introducing first, from a Dark Basement in Winschester, Kentucky, weighing in at 268 pounds: Ryan "The Reaper" Robinson!!!
Once he gets to the ring he puts it down and slides under the ropes, stands to his feet and raises it again. He sits down and rocks back and forth as he waits for his opponent.
"My Curse" By Killswitch Engage plays and Draven Logan Kennedy made his way to the ring.
TW: And his opponent, from London, Ohio, weighing in at 264 pounds: "The Psychotic Avenger", Draven Logan Kennedy!!!
Reaper doesn't wait for the announcer to finish with the intro as he stands up, rolls out of the ring and begins brawling with Draven to start off the match.
*DING DING DING*
Draven gets the better of the exchange, rocking The Reaper with a flurry of uppercuts, then Irish Whips him hard into the barricade. He charges - Reaper countered with a Back body Drop, sending Draven over the barricade and landing hard on the concrete!
RC: Draven falls right into the concrete, in tremendous pain! Unbelievable, the match has been going on for one minute and I am stupidly smiling and cheering like a giddy schoolgirl!
LR: You’re easily excitable, we get it. The next time you have sex, just make sure you bring a stopwatch. If it counts over twelve seconds send an ambulance to my house, maybe check for gas leaks or anything hallucinogenic.
AM: I’d be careful with those gas leaks, it’d be a shame if you lost all your Nazi memorabilia…
RC: Ha-haaa!
LR: Can’t afford some of those, yet. Want to help me out? Your cheap breast implants would be a hit in the bad movie industry.
AM: …Idiot.
Reaper goes over the barricade and goes on the attack as Draven gets to his feet with some hard right hands. He grabs Draven by the head and starts dragging him towards the tech area in the crowd, then slams him into the railing. He picks up one of the metal casings for the equipment, but Draven blasts him with clubbing blow to the back, causing him to drop it! Draven picks it up - He swings and nails Reaper right between the eyes!
AM: Wow, Reaper got hit very violently! I think this could be the end, he probably broke his nose!
There was no blood, so Draven went right back onto the attack, dragging Reaper over to the barricade - he throws him skull first into the barricade, then tosses him back into the ringside area!
AM: Reaper’s surviving instinct is amazing! How did he prevent himself from bleeding?
LR: He stole one of your tampons.
AM: All you do is bitch, moan and provoke everyone else! You’re here to ANNOUNCE! So yeah, call the fucking match!
LR: Cursing is ugly. Oh, wait, you’re ugly too. See? Things work out.
RC: Please, settle down, friends, and look at the match! I mean, it’s literally in front of us!
Draven once again picked up Reaper and then dragged him over to the announce table. He went to slam his head into it - Reaper blocks it! Reaper elbows him in the ribs a few times - he slams Draven skull first into the table! He sees that Draven isn't bleeding, so he begins ripping apart the table and picks up one of the monitors.
RC: Hey, hey, Reaper, chill! Want a banana daiquiri?
LR: *sigh*
Draven stands and turns around - Reaper bashes him right in the face with the monitor!!!
AM: This has got to be it! There’s no way that huge blow didn’t bust the man wide open!
The ref checks Draven for blood, and finds nothing, signaling for the match to continue.
LR: So the match is continuing? Great…I’m bored.
AM: YOU’RE WHAT?! These guys have been beating the holy hell out of each other with strength and passion like never seen before, and you’re bored with this match?!
LR: Yeah. I could try and play Amy Mustaine for a change, see if I get more amused. (*does high-pitched, overly dramatic Amy impersonation*) Oh my god! Reaper is about to attack Draven with the steel steps! This could be the end!
Reaper goes over to the steel steps and lifts them up, thinking about ending this one early. He turns around - Draven hits a big boot right into the steps, knocking them right into Reaper's face! The referee quickly checks to see if Reaper is bleeding, then signals for the match to continue after finding no blood.
RC: How are these men still standing?!
Draven picks Reaper back up an, and sends him back to the ground with a headbutt. he picks Reaper up again, then sends him back down to a knee with another headbutt. He suddenly goes for underneath the ring and pulls out a kendo stick. HE waits for Reaper to stand - He swings - Reaper blocks it! The two struggle over the Kendo Stick, before Draven kicks Reaper in the midsection and takes the stick back. He goes for another swing - Reaper ducks it and counters into a modified spinebuster, sending Draven spine first into the ring apron!!! He wastes no time in dragging Draven over to the steps and locking in an inverted facelock - he drops down with a back breaker - Soul Breaker DDT, dropping Draven onto the back of his head, right onto the steel steps!!!
RC: SOUL BREAKER DDT! SOUL BREAKER DDT! In any match this could be the end…But you must make him bleed, Reaper! He’s pretty much all yours now!
LR: Homosexuality is wrong.
AM: Nazism is a crime, shut it.
LR: How do you know that I am a Nazi?
AM: How do you know that I am a lesbian?
Reaper takes a moment to get it together, then tosses Draven back into the ring, along with the Kendo Stick. He then went underneath the ring and started tossing other weapons into the ring, then slid in. He picked up the Kendo Stick and waited for Draven to stand - he nails him right in the ribs with the kendo stick! Draven doubles over - another shot, this time to the back! Draven arches his back in pain as he turns around - Reaper blasts him right between the eyes, flooring Draven! The referee chacks Draven for blood, then signals that the match will continue.
AM: This is pure insanity!
Reaper pick Draven back up to his feet and whips him hard into a corner. He backs into the far corner, then charges - He splashes Draven in the corner! He runs back to the corner, then charges again - Another splash in the corner! Draven stumbled out of the corner as Reaper bounced off the ropes - Running DDT! Reaper tells the ref to check Draven, but the ref doesn't see any blood. Reaper picks Draven up and whips him to the ropes - He ducks The Big Boot - ALL ROUND THE WORLD!!! Out of nowhere, Draven has laid out The Reaper with The All Around The World!!!
LW (*impersonating Amy again*): OH MY GOD! ALL AROUND THE WORLD! REAPER IS DOWN AND THE CROWD IS LOVING IT!
AM: Do that without my voice and you’ll finally be a serious announcer.
Both men are down at this point, neither one moving. Slowly, Draven crawled over to the ropes and tried to pull himself up, while Reaper struggled to stand. The two make it to their feet, and Reaper swings and lands a hard right. Draven returns the favor, and the two soon traiding blows in the middle of the ring. Reaper knees Draven right in the ribs, then goes for a Bulldog - Draven counters and sends him flying! Reaper staggers back to his feet and turns around - Draven lifts him up and drops him with a Sidewalk Slam! Draven then picks up the two chairs that Reaper tossed into the ring and places one under Reaper's head. He raises the chair high - CON CHAIR TO-Reaper moved out of the way at the very last second!
RC: Reaper luckily escaped from the Con-Chair-To! That would definitely put an end to this match!
Draven held onto the chair, waiting for Reaper to stand. Reaper slowly made it to his feet and ducks the chairshot - boot to the midsection by Reaper, then hooks both arms - REAPING DEATH DROP!!! RIGHT ONTO THE CHAIR!!! Draven may be out cold!!!
LW: I actually liked that move, it was sick!
RC: There you go, finally happy! Do you want a daiquiri? Come on, I want you guys to party!
LW: …No.
RC (muttering): Antisocial idiot.
LW: What’s that?
RC (nervous): Uh…Nothing.
The ref checks for any blood, and tells Reaper he's found none. Reaper is in disbelief! He slowly stands up, then signals for another Reaping Death Drop. He pulls Draven back to his feet, and hooks both arms, going for another Reaping Death Drop…
RC: Oh my god, I think this can be the end…
AM: WAIT! Draven fights out of it, sending Reaper into the corner!
Draven picks up a chair and blasts Reaper right in the face, denting the chair down the middle!! Reaper didn't go down from the shot, so Draven swings again - he knocks Reaper from the ring with that vicious chairshot!!!
AM: This has got to be it! No man can ever survive such a hardcore chairshot without bleeding!
RC: The ref is quickly rushing in to check on Reaper… YES! YES! REAPER IS BUSTED WIDE OPEN! WE HAVE A WINNER!
*DING DING DING*
The crowd applauds the great match as the referee raises Draven’s hand in victory, who is still a bit dizzy.
Tyrone Whitaker: Here is your winner, "The Psychotic Avenger", DRAVEN LOGAN KENNEDY!
Draven is recovering at one corner from this bout, and, meanwhile, we cut to the announcers.
RC: What a way to open the show strong! Alright, folks at home, we’re going to take a commercial break, when we come back, Nos Thompson faces Stevie Wicked!
*COMMERCIAL BREAK*
We fade back to the Jacksonville Veterans Memorial Arena, where the crowd cheers intensely.
RC: Welcome back to Liberty, folks! And here we have another match for you! Let’s just cut to it!
"Click Click Boom" by Saliva bursts through the PA system with barely any response from the fans. Nos Hudson and Bull Thompson come out into the stage, punching the air enthusiastically, and sprint at insane speed into the ring.
Tyrone Whitaker: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from Sacramento, CA, accompanied to the ring by Bull Thompson, in his debut wrestling match...NOSTRADAMUS HUDSON!
RC: Well, these two are homegrown Libertarian Wrestling talent! This is their first wrestling match ever! Awesome, eh?
LR: These guys are naturally born curtain jerkers, I swear. They would be opening the show if it weren’t for Leo’s stupid obsession of opening the show with more attractive matches.
RC: And it is a good policy! Provides a better show for the loyal fans, maybe keeps the ratings stable!
LR: Who is that idiot to change the way cards are organized?
They both taunt, in desperate attempts to cheer up the crowd, who seems to be bored about these two wrestlers. They await the entrance of Nos’ opponent.
AM: And here comes Stevie Wicked!
“Bat Country” by Avenged Sevenfold starts playing to a not so favorable reception from the crowd. Stevie Wicked walks straight to the ring with a serious demeanor, crudely ignoring the fans.
Tyrone Whitaker: And his opponent, from Elizabethtown, Kentucky, weighing in at 235 pounds…STEVIE WICKED!
Once in the ring, Stevie starts slandering the fans. Nos looks pumped up.
*DING DING DING*
RC: And here we go! Nos Hudson sprinting towards Stevie Wicked…Wow, impressive, he’s actually delivering a few hard blows to Wicked's nose!
LR: Not for long! The energy drink sponsoring crash test dummy is tossed across the ring with a powerful clothesline by Stevie! He had that one coming.
AM: Wow, Lucius performing decent commentary! WOO!
RC: Wicked quickly rushes in with a Running Knee Strike! Hudson falls to the ground in pain, but Stevie picks him up, giving him no rest…SIDEWALK SLAM!
LR: So thirty seconds into the match and Hudson is already in serious disadvantage? Wow, beats my predictions.
AM: Whatever. Nos is on his knees, and Stevie delivers a picture-perfect dropkick right between his eyes! Wicked looking to finish this one already!
ONE!!
TWO!!
KICKOUT!!
RC: No chance! Looks like he’s going to stick with Nostradamus for a little while more!
LR: Twenty bucks say his butt-buddy comes to rescue him...
AM (in a desperate attempt to shut up Lucius): Okay, you’re on, asshole! Wicked is annoyed by the kickout, looks like he’s going to attempt something from the top rope while Nos Hudson is down… DIVING BODY SPLASH!
RC: Stevie connects it perfectly, and here’s another cover attempt…
ONE!!
TWO!!
…?
RC: Wait a second, Bull Thompson has dragged the referee out of the ring, look at that! Stevie Wicked is looking at him, pissed!
LR: Now, Amy, my twenty bucks?
AM: Fuck’s sake…I’ll give them to you soon. Anyway, Bull Thompson is now inside the ring, and he tries to spear Wicked, who quickly kicks him in the gut and lifts him up high…POWERBOMB!
RC: Here comes Nos from behind…
LR: His area of interest, it seems.
RC: Attempting to lock some sort of choke on Stevie Wicked, but he fights back with a snapmare! Stevie Wicked gets Hudson back to his feet…BRIDGING GERMAN SUPLEX! And he quickly changes to a LEBELL LOCK! Hudson is struggling to hold it together!
LR: The referee is back up, just tap, pissbag, you’re not getting away from this one!
RC: Nos Hudson TAPS OUT! This one is over!
LR: I knew these idiots wouldn’t win.
*DING DING DING*
Tyrone Whitaker: Here’s your winner…STEVIE WICKED!
Wicked lets go of the LeBell lock and celebrates peacefully. The referee attempts to raise his hand in victory but he doesn’t allow it, and calmly walks off, ignoring everything and everyone. Bull Thompson and Nos Hudson keep crawling on the stage, trying to put it together.
RC: And that’s another match, folks! We’ll be back in a bit with—
Suddenly the lights are cut off, and Ricky Cash interrupts his line. The titantron lights up with a video...
After the video ends, the lights are turned back on. Stevie Wicked and Amped stare at the titantron, confused.
RC: What was that all about? I’ve never heard about this “J.C. Epick” guy!
LR: First impression: Idiot can’t spell. Or wrestle, anyway.
AM: Well, I think we’ll find out in due time…But right now we gotta take a commercial break, we’ll be right back with more amazing LW action! Stick around!
*COMMERCIAL BREAK*
“Holy Wars…The Punishment Due” by Megadeth hits the PA system loudly, meeting no reaction from the crowd. Suddenly, Leo Hawkins comes out in a fancy tuxedo suit, smiling to the crowd, to which he receives a huge ovation. Leo tags a few fans’ hands down his way to the ring, climbs the steel steps, and taunts once again, inside the ring, to a loud reaction from the Jacksonville fans. The music stops, and Leo grabs a microphone, smiling.
Leo: Welcome to LIBERTARIAN WRESTLING!
The crowd goes absolutely wild.
Leo: As you may have probably heard, this is my latest attempt to run a company in the wrestling business. I wanted to start off simple. Good old Terrell Ryder wanted to help me with this fed’s budget, but I didn’t want to be helped this time. I wanted something free, something independent, where I can just rely on my own credit and produce money and entertainment. Well, for the next months I have rented the Jacksonville Veterans Memorial Arena, where we will randomly pop out a few times per month. If it goes well, we move to a bigger arena. If not, we’ll just head to a smaller one. Anyways, we’re almost halfway through the show, and, I’d like to hear some feedback. How’s the show coming along so far?
The crowd cheers heavily.
RC: This is being awesome! Best show I’ve ever been in!
LR: …Shut up. Someone more important and less Puerto Rican is talking.
AM: So you’re on his side?
LR: I’m not pro-Leo, just anti-Ricky.
Leo: Excellent. Well, I’m just here to say, I hope you have a great time tonight at Liberty. From this point forth, things can only get better. We’ve already got more talent signed up, waiting to be booked. Our first pay-per-view will be here after another Liberty, same arena, same time… And that’s where we will crown the first ever LW Universal Heavyweight Champion! There’s no way you can miss this event…”…And Justice For All”, and there’s no way you can know when it is coming, haha! Have a fun show!
“Holy Wars” plays again as Leo sits at ringside, and the crowd delivers a loud ovation. We cut back to Ricky Cash.
RC: And well, after this powerful speech from Leo, we’ll be proud to present you yet another match!
Tyrone Whitaker: The following contest is scheduled for one fall.
The crowd cheers.
Tyrone Whitaker: Introducing first.
"Whatever" by Our Lady Peace hits and Kai quickly walks down the isle to the ring, glancing at the crowd a few times.
Tyrone Whitaker: Making his way to the ring, weighing in at 210 pounds... KAI!!!
He walks up the steel steps and enters the ring, then crosses his arms as he awaits his opponent.
Tyrone Whitaker: And his opponent!
The lights go out as "Yeah" by Usher feat. Ludacris and Lil Jon starts to play. The strobe lights go back and forth, smoke machines going off as she does the Glow Stick Dance in shadow as the spot light shines on Cruz she drop the Glow Stick counting to dance her way down to the ring.
Tyrone Whitaker: Making her way to the ring, from Beverly Hills, California... "THE SPOILED PRINCESS"... JILL CRUZ!!!
Jill is walking up the steps and orders the ref to open the rope as she gets in the ring under middle rope. She pulls more glow stick out as the lights go out as she does the glow stick dance.
*DING! DING! DING!*
AM: This match up is officially underway. Kai and Jill circle around the ring to get a good positioning for a lock up. They lock up, and Kai immediately gets the advantage with a side headlock. Jill pushes him off into the ropes. Kai comes back off the rebound... Shoulder block!
RC: Jill immediately gets to her feet and Kai comes after her... but Jill leapfrogs him. Kai comes back on the rebound... Hurricanrana!
LR: My damn! Look at that ass. It's fucking magnificent.
RC: We're at a wrestling show and all you can think about is booty?
LR: Yeah. Have a problem with that?
AM: Moving on. Jill is waiting anxiously for Kai to get up. Kai gets up and Jill sprints towards him... Jumping leg lariat! Jill's not wasting any time as she goes for the cover.
ONE!!!!
TWO!!!!
KICKOUT!!!!
AM: Kai kicks out at two! Jill gets Kai up to his feet and whips him into the corner. Jill runs in after him... NO! Kai moves out of the way and Jill hits chest first into the turnbuckle. Jill stumbles out of the turnbuckle and Kai senses it... Belly to belly suplex!
LR: Kai's proving to be very, very intense so far. He's making Jill wish that she had never entered the business.
RC: I need me some Tequila. Right now, and a naked lady giving me a lap dance.
LR: This is one of those times where I'll agree with you.
AM: You men are disgusting. Jill gets back to her feet, but Kai isn't wasting time as he goes behind Jill and clasps his hands around her waist before lifting her up... BRIDGING GERMAN SUPLEX! And Kai has the pin as well.
ONE!!!!
TWO!!!!
KICKOUT!!!!
AR: This time, Jill Cruz kicks out.
LR: This Kai, is just mother fucking ruthless. Every move he does, it's like he's going to kill you off eventually.
RC: Definitely. This cat is very impressive so far. And his brother is in action in our main event later on tonight.
AM: That's right, Syn against J.T. Banks and Liam Reilly to crown the first Freedom Champion. Jill uses the ropes to get to her feet. Kai goes for a clothesline, but Jill trips him up and hits a drop toe hold before bouncing off the ropes... and hitting a leg drop on the back of the neck.
RC: I'm liking the pace of this match. It's not a slowed up moment right now. Both competitors are giving it their all in these moments.
AM: Right they are, Ricky. Kai gets back to his feet, but Jill hits him with an arm drag. She goes for an armbar, but Kai uses his size advantage to get Jill onto his shoulders. Kai spins Jill around... and drops Jill down with a sidewalk slam.
LR: This guy is ruthless. If any of the wrestler's get out of control, maybe we can enlist him as a body guard.
RC: I'll drink to that. I swear!
LR: Shut up you fucking drunk. Now let's get back to watching Jill Cruz's fine ass compete against a destructive force in Kai.
AM: Kai gets to the top turnbuckle. Jill gets up and Kai flies... Diving clothesline! And Jill Cruz is back down on the mat. Kai goes for the cover.
ONE!!!!
TWO!!!!
NO!!!!
AM: Yet another kickout for Jill Cruz.
LR: I don't want this match to end, but I like both competitors.
RC: Take a drink of beer and it'll clear your mind.
LR: YOU IDIOT! I said I didn't want this match to end. Fuck!
Kai has a sinister look in his eyes as he waits for Jill to get up. She eventually gets up, but stumbles around. Kai has a look of amusment on his face before turning back to being serious. He grabs Jill's arm and whips her into the corner. Kai runs after her... but Jill moves out of the way, causing Kai to be the one to hit chest first into the turnbuckle. Kai stumbles out, but Jill is there and drops him down with a neckbreaker.
AM: Now it's Kai who is at a dis-advantage.
RC: Jill needs to stay on Kai to hopefully wear him down.
AM: Jill raises Kai up to his knees. Jill kicks Kai in the head. She does it again... and again... and again before kicking him in the chest once. She kicks Kai in the head once last time... and Kai drops down to the mat like a sack of potatoes.
LR: Those kicks can be deadly as hell. I'm glad I'm not the receiving end of those.
RC: Only way you'd be on the receiving end of getting your ass kicked over a girl, is if her father found you in the act with his daughter.
LR: HEY! That was just one time. I didn't know she was sixteen. I SWEAR!
RC: But in America, it's ILLEGAL!
AM: Ugh! Enough with the arguing. Jill gets Kai to his knees one more time and runs towards him... SHINING WIZARD! And she immediately goes for the cover.
ONE!!!!
TWO!!!!
NO!!!!
AM: Now it's Kai with the kickout.
RC: This match is getting good. Both competitors have been pretty even so far. Not a lot of high-flying tactics, but Jill has been able to survive Kai's ruthless attack so far.
LR: Not to mention, she's doing great with her martial-arts background.
AM: Exactly. Jill steps out onto the apron and stands there, waiting for Kai to get up. Kai gets up, and Jill leaps on the center of the ropes... SPRINGBOARD CLOTHESLINE!!! Jill with the Springboard Clothesline. She bounces off the ropes and as Kai gets up... Jill hits him with a clothesline to take him down.
RC: Woo-hoo! This is becoming a party. I'm wasted!
LR: God damn you're annoying the shit out of me. I'm trying to watch this match, and all you're being is an obnoxious jackass.
Jill Cruz gets back up and goes to the apron one more time. Kai eventually gets to his feet, but is a bit on the groggy side of things. As Kai turns around, Jill leaps on the center ropes again... SPRINGBOARD!!! NO!!! Kai counters with a Dropkick in mid-air, and Jill is taken down to the mat, but Kai is down as well. The referee looks at both competitors and begins the count.
ONE!!!!
TWO!!!!
THREE!!!!
FOUR!!!!
FIVE!!!!
SIX!!!!
SEVEN!!!!
EIGHT!!!!
NINE!!!!
Both Jill and Kai get up before the ten count. Fatigue is settting in for both of them as they stare at one another. Jill lands a punch to Kai which receives some boos from the crowd. Kai fires back with a right of his own to cheers from the crowd, much to his surprise. Jill lands another one. Kai fires back. Back and forth they go. Jill... Kai... Jill... Kai! It's insanity in that ring right now. Jill goes for another clothesline, but Kai ducks and kicks Jill in the gut. He then grabs her by the hair... and drops her down to the mat. Jill immediately gets back up, but receives a clothesline from Kai. Jill gets up once more, but Kai kicks her in the gut and places her in position... DOUBLE UNDERHOOK BACKBREAKER!!! He just dropped Jill Cruz with a Double Underhook Backbreaker.
AM: Kai has finally gotten himself back into the match.
RC: And with authority. He just crushed Jill Cruz like a girl who didn't put out for him. Almost like the girls Louie here dates.
LR: Why are you mentioning me, bitch?
RC: Because it's more fun. That's why.
AM: Kai immediately gets Jill back to her feet, kicks her in the gut and sets her up... T-BONE SUPLEX! Kai drops Jill with the T-Bone Suplex!
RC: Oh this has got to be it.
AM: Kai hooks the leg for the cover. You might be right, Ricky!
ONE!!!!
TWO!!!!
THR---NO!!!!
AM: Just in the nick of time, Jill Cruz kicks out!
RC: And Kai's getting a bit frustrated right now. Not the thing you want to do in this situation.
Kai looks at the referee with a sense of fury in his eyes, feeling that he had the three count. He gets Jill up to her feet and lands in a series of Martial arts kicks to the mid-section. Kai whips Jill across the ring. Jill comes back off the rebound... Back body drop by Kai. Kai looks up and wipes the sweat off his brow before stalking Jill, waiting for her to get back to her feet. Jill gets back up, and Kai goes for a clothesline, but instead, Jill ducks and hits it... CRUISING!
AM: Cruz just nailed Kai with the Spine Kick!
RC: Jill is literally in the drivers seat now. Nothing stands in the way of victory here tonight.
AM: Jill steps out to the apron and goes to the top rope. She sees that Kai is in position and proceeds to dive off... CRUZ CONTROL!!! NO!!! Kai just managed to roll out of the way at the last minute, and Jill Cruz eats nothing but canvas.
RC: That sucks for her because now it looks like all that momentum has vanished. SON OF A BITCH! I'm out of liquor!
LR: That's what you get for drinking it all very fast, dumb ass.
AM: Kai sees Jill now up and out on her feet. He grabs Jill's arm, goes to the ground and locks it in... CROSSFACE! CROSSFACE! He's got Jill locked in the crossface.
RC: And nowhere to go either. She's stuck in the middle of that ring.
LR: Damn, I was really liking to see her go a little longer, but I guess we gotta chalk up the victory to Kai then.
AM: Not until it's over. Not until it's over.
Jill tries every which way to get out of this. She inches towards the ropes, but the pressure is mounting up for her. Jill tries once more to get the ropes, but she can't reach it. She has no choice but to tap out, and this match is over.
*DING! DING! DING!*
Tyrone Whitaker: Here is your winner of the match by submission... KAI!
"Whatever" by Our Lady Peace hits and Kai raises his arm in the air to a mixed reaction from the crowd.
RC: Amazing victory by Kai here!
LR: Ummm…Mind you if I ask a question way more interesting than some idiot beating up a women?
RC (annoyed): What is it…umm…friend?
LR: If I ever get on a waiting list for a liver, can I have yours? It looks pretty amazing since you drank a shitload of heavy alcohol already and you’re still coherent. Well, as coherent as you can be.
RC: Shut up. We’ve got to move on forth! We’re taking another commercial break, see you in a bit people!
*COMMERCIAL BREAK*
Upon returning to broadcast, we immediately pan to a shot of Tyrone Whitaker.
Tyrone Whitaker: The following is an LW World Tag Team Championship Qualifier Match, scheduled for one fall!
The crowd cheers.
Tyrone Whitaker: Introducing team number one!
"Psychosocial" by Slipknot hits the sound system and out comes Bull Connor, Ape Simmons and there manager Jimmy Gambino.
Tyrone Whitaker: Being accompanied to the ring by Jimmy Gambino, from Miami, Florida, at a combined weight of 1,000 pounds! Bull Connor and Ape Simmons... THE BULL AND APE ALLIANCE!!!
They ignore everything and walk straight to the ring as Bull yells about how he is the toughest man in the world and him and Ape curses at the fans.
Tyrone Whitaker: And their opponents!
Gunshots ring throughout the arena. Then "Wasting Time" by Red plays as Daniel Ryserson and Jackson Knite walk out to a mixed reaction. Daniel walks to the ring barely paying attention to the fans as Jackson slaps some fans' hands.
Tyrone Whitaker: On their way to the ring, from Chicago, Illinois, at a combined weight of 427 pounds! Daniel Ryerson and Jackson Knite! Together they are... THE SECOND CITY SAVIORS!!!
They climb both climb onto the apron. Daniel jumps over the top rope while Jackson poses on the turnbuckle before jumping into the ring. Daniel stands in the middle of the ring as Jackson runs by him off the ropes. Jackson stops in the middle where Daniel stands facing away from the ramp. They flip off their opponents before leaning on the corner turnbuckle.
*DING! DING! DING!*
AM: And this match up is officially underway. Bull Connor and Jackson Knite to start this one off for their teams.
RC: Yo, this isn't going to be very pretty for the Second City Saviors. Both Bull and Ape weigh 500 pounds.
AM: You have a point there. Jackson circles around, trying to think of a way to take down the 500 pound behemoth. He kicks at Bull's legs. Bull goes for Jackson, but Jackson runs back to the corner to avoid getting beaten down.
LR: Is this guy for real? Playing chicken shit offense against two big mother fuckers. What the fuck?
RC: Louie, I think it's great strategy for the smaller men. You gotta do at least something to avoid getting beaten.
LR: ...Hn.
Bull goes to run towards Jackson, but Jackson moves out of the way and Bull hits chest first into the turnbuckle. Jackson runs up... and dropkicks Bull in the back of the left knee. Bull is now out as he's draped on the second rope. Jackson runs towards him and goes for it... Tiger feint kick to the head of Bull Connor! NO! Bull caught him! Bull caught him! Bull grabs Jackson and has him up in the air as he walks away from the ropes. Bull looks like he's enraged as he drops Jackson down... HIGH-ANGLE FALLING POWERSLAM!!! Bull Connor just crushed Jackson Knite with the High-angle falling powerslam!
AM: Bull Connor just squashed Jackson Knite with that devastating move.
RC: Crush is an understatement. He flatlined him. Bring out the gurney's and a Margarita for me.
AM: Is alcohol really the only thing you care about?
RC: Pretty much. Why?
AM: Nevermind. Bull pulling Jackson up and gets him into another powerslam position, here we go! NO! Jackson slides to behind Bull... REVERSE DDT! JACKSON TAKES THE LEAD!
RC: Jackson's gotta keep it going here. He took the bigger man down, but will it last.
Jackson uses the ropes to pull himself up, starts panting, tired, and flicks his boot in the air...
AM: PISTOL WHIP! PISTOL WHIP! Jackson with the Superkick to the jaw!
LR: But Bull is still up on his feet.
RC: That doesn't really matter much. Jackson stumbling. I think this is it... OH YEAH!
AM: Daniel Ryerson is now the legal man in this match!
RC: This should be good. How will Ryerson do against a 500 pound behemouth.
AM: Daniel Ryerson is in... Dropkick to Bull! He bounces off the ropes, Bull dazed... Chop block to the knees!
RC: Daniel is going for more. Ape better watch is ass...
AM: SPRINGBOARD DROPKICK ON APE SIMMONS! And Simmons lands on the floor below!
LR: OH MY GOD! Did you feel that?
RC: Feel what?
LR: When Ape fell. There was an Earthquake. I bet lots of people died when his fat ass landed on the protective mat.
RC: You are one heartless piece of work.
LR: Like I care! Go take a fucking drink and die!
RC: You really need to lighten up and have a drink every now and then. Tequilla totally changes the mood.
AM: Ugh! Just be peaceful for once! Daniel climbs the top turnbuckle. Bull gets to his feet and Daniel dives off... DIVING CROSSBODY! NO!!! Bull caught him, and drops Daniel down with a huge Samoan Drop!
RC: Damn, looks like we need more gurney's! AND WHERE THE HELL IS MY DAMN DAIQUIRI!?
LR: You numb nut, you were just asking for a Margarita earlier. Fucking shit, you need rehab you annoying little twat.
RC: At least I'm not a cold-hearted retard like you.
AM: This arguing is highly unnecessary. Let's just be friends instead. Bull Connor sprints into the ropes, bounces off one side, jumps over Daniel, bounces off the other side... That's plainly mocking Daniel!
LR: Those fat fucks can easily be mocked as well. They're the size of the Michelin men.
RC: Jackson and Daniel pretty much know that part as they did get two jobbing pieces of crap to wear those suits and act like complete and total punchbags. Which if you've seen PCW, YCW and the CWF. You would know that is the truth.
AM: Bull is inside the ring, taking advantage of the damage done. Daniel Ryerson getting up... and he is DOWN AGAIN! What a wicked clothesline by Bull Connor!
LR: Meh! I could care less about these two teams to be honest. They don't do anything for me. Especially Straight-Edge retards and the Ball and Rapists alliance.
AM: What the hell is wrong with you, you up-tight jackass?
LR: Nothing is wrong with me! I'm a perfectly fine human being who just doesn't like people. Have a problem with that?
AM: Daniel is slowly rising to his feet. However, Bull is sizing him up and runs with a full head of steam... BIG BOOT! And Daniel is back down to the mat.
RC: Daniel nearly got his head taken clean off his shoulders. Pretty sick if you ask me.
AM: Ape Simmons, this corpulent big man has entered the match! Right hand on Daniel! And another right to Jackson, a little pay-back.
Ape turns around, focusing his attention back on Daniel...
AM: Ape has got Daniel secure! Scoops him up... SPINEBUSTER! The ring just shook!
LR: Fucking hell! That's TWO earthquakes that has occurred in this match. These fat asses need to go on the Biggest Loser and shed all that weight off of them. It's fucking horrendous.
RC: Watch your mouth and take a drink of this delicious schnapps I got in my hand.
LR: I don't give a fuck about your alcohol you drunk fucking idiot! Jesus, you are fucking annoying.
AM: Both of your arguing is really annoying. Daniel has climbed the turnbuckle, high risk maneuver incoming, Ape turns around... ELBOW DROP! And here comes Bull from the outside to pummel on Jackson, the match has turned into absolute pandemonium!
RC: It's insanity is what it is. Thank god I have a great alcoholic beverage in my hand.
AM: The confusion strikes! Bull and Jackson furiously exchanging fists on the floor. Daniel Ryerson slowly getting to his feet... Ape with a SPEAR! NO!!! Daniel COUNTERS INTO A DDT!
RC: And immediately, Daniel has the leg hooked!
ONE!!!!
TWO!!!!
NO!!!!
AM: Jackson Knite saving the match for his team! At the last second.
RC: Jackson taking it to the air. He dives off... GHETTO STOMP! Jackson hit Ape Simmons with the double foot stamp to the chest.
AM: And now, Jackson goes for the cover. Isn't he not the legal man?
LR: Don't look at me! I don't know what the fuck is going on here.
ONE!!!!
TWO!!!!
NO!!!!
AM: BULL CONNOR OUT OF NOWHERE TO BREAK THE COVER! Jackson goes for a kick on him. Ape ducks... SPEAR! SPEAR! SPEAR!
LR: SHIT! FUCKING HELL! THE FAT WHALES ARE GOING TO CAUSE THE WORLD TO END!
RC: Oh my damn! You are hysterical! I'm gonna take it you'll be trippin' out on acid by the end of the show.
LR: SHUT UP YOU ALCOHOLIC BEANER!
AM: Ape lifts Jackson to his feet and brings him towards him... THE BANANNA SLAM!!! NO!!! Jackson somehow reverses it and hits a Double knee facebreaker.
RC: Ape stumbling to his feet, and turns around to see Daniel charging towards him... CHI-KO! CHI-KO! HE HIT ANOTHER ONE!
AM: Daniel with that Busaiku Knee Strike from out of nowhere, but now both men are down from exhaustion.
RC: And look at this! Jackson and Bull Connor have taken their fight to the outside, although both are hugely tired from the damage they themselves have taken
Daniel, grounded, slowly crawls towards the cover...
AM: I don’t think he’s going to make it!
RC: I think he might! He just might have enough in the tank to do so.
AM: Daniel drapes an arm over the prone body of Ape Simmons, here we go!
ONE!!!!
TWO!!!!
THREE!!!!
*DING! DING! DING!*
Tyrone Whitaker: Here are your winners of the match! Daniel Ryerson and Jackson Knite... THE SECOND CITY SAVIORS!!!
"Wasting Time" by Red hits the PA and Jackson and Daniel celebrate their victory while Bull and Ape are down.
AM: The Second City Saviors with the huge victory and they advance into the next round of the LW World Tag Team Championship tournament.
RC: Those two were impressive, but so was the Bull and Ape alliance. They were equally as good and provided a challenge. Louie, what did you think?
LR: First off, my name's not Louie, dumb nuts. Secondly, while the match wasn't bad, the tag team division can never be taken seriously to me. Especially with these types of teams in it.
RC: You really are an asshole, aren't you?
LR: No shit sherlock.
AM: I really wish for this damn arguing to stop. Fortunately, we have to take a break. When we come back, we will have more action for you. Don't go anywhere!
*COMMERCIAL BREAK*
---
[The wrestling world is a very unstable territory. One year, one month, even one week can change everything you know. Some companies rise, some companies fall. Some wrestlers achieve their moments of glory, some wrestlers go through their darkest hour. Some embrace the crowd as their loyal followers, some despise and provoke the fans. And tonight, we are going to make sure we will create an event so amazing that will permanently be marked in the books of wrestling history.
Experienced pro-wrestling promoter, Leo Hawkins, has always had a passion for professional wrestling. Following the highly successful stint of YouTube Championship Wrestling, later the great Premium Championship Wrestling, Leo has searched for a new challenge in the world of wrestling. And he had envisioned yet another dream – A company with as much freedom of speech and all around liberty possible. A company where wrestlers could yell out swear words freely, where they could speak their mind freely, where they could be themselves, choose for themselves and face the consequences of their acts themselves. A company without hundreds of useless employees, but just a small, hard-working, competent, talented, experienced team. A company where wrestlers could give their opinions and be heard, where they could decide what happens to THEIR company. A company where fans would also have that privilege. A democratic company. A LIBERTARIAN company.
But this lack of pressure couldn’t just apply to the wrestlers…What about the staff? And Leo thought of stripping down many elements of a wrestling federation that normally were constant. Leo took the shows down from a calendar, a schedule: In his opinion, the show is done whenever everyone is ready. He didn’t label his show with the traditional three word names you see in every corner of this business…He just thought of one simple word, that could sum up every idea he had for this company. LIBERTY.
Inspired by this idea, Leo Hawkins grabbed all the money he had left from the YCW years and hired some of the finest talent available in the world. Looking for something simple, Leo scheduled the production of bi-weekly shows, and bi-monthly pay-per-views. And what you are about to witness now is the result of one man’s dream. It’s a free company. Ladies and gentlemen, from the Jacksonville Veterans Memorial Arena, in ever-beautiful Jacksonville, Florida, we give you…]
LIBERTARIAN WRESTLING: LIBERTY
EPISODE 1 – THE FOUNDATION
Experienced pro-wrestling promoter, Leo Hawkins, has always had a passion for professional wrestling. Following the highly successful stint of YouTube Championship Wrestling, later the great Premium Championship Wrestling, Leo has searched for a new challenge in the world of wrestling. And he had envisioned yet another dream – A company with as much freedom of speech and all around liberty possible. A company where wrestlers could yell out swear words freely, where they could speak their mind freely, where they could be themselves, choose for themselves and face the consequences of their acts themselves. A company without hundreds of useless employees, but just a small, hard-working, competent, talented, experienced team. A company where wrestlers could give their opinions and be heard, where they could decide what happens to THEIR company. A company where fans would also have that privilege. A democratic company. A LIBERTARIAN company.
But this lack of pressure couldn’t just apply to the wrestlers…What about the staff? And Leo thought of stripping down many elements of a wrestling federation that normally were constant. Leo took the shows down from a calendar, a schedule: In his opinion, the show is done whenever everyone is ready. He didn’t label his show with the traditional three word names you see in every corner of this business…He just thought of one simple word, that could sum up every idea he had for this company. LIBERTY.
Inspired by this idea, Leo Hawkins grabbed all the money he had left from the YCW years and hired some of the finest talent available in the world. Looking for something simple, Leo scheduled the production of bi-weekly shows, and bi-monthly pay-per-views. And what you are about to witness now is the result of one man’s dream. It’s a free company. Ladies and gentlemen, from the Jacksonville Veterans Memorial Arena, in ever-beautiful Jacksonville, Florida, we give you…]
LIBERTARIAN WRESTLING: LIBERTY
EPISODE 1 – THE FOUNDATION
A few pyro goes off as the crowd cheers intensely. The cameras film the entire arena, where many fans have gathered for the first ever Libertarian Wrestling show. The stage features a medium-sized replica of the Statue of Liberty, with the final pyro blast coming out of her torch. The camera cuts to the announce table, with the LW announcing teAM: Ricky “Rico” Cash, Lucius Rose and Amy Mustaine. Ricky Cash is outstandingly fat, wearing a flashy multicolor suit and holding a cocktail, Amy Mustaine is a lovely brunette woman, dressed casually, smiling, and Lucius Rose looks cold and antisocial, trying to avoid looking at the camera.
Ricky Cash: Welcome everyone, to the first episode of Liberty! I’m Ricky Cash, Rico to all my friends and fans, and joining me today are Amy Mustaine and Lucius Rose, and, Amy, Lucius, this is bound to be a great show!
Amy Mustaine: Well you’re absolutely right, Ricky! We’ve got an amazing crowd of three thousand people in our debut show, and they deserve a treat! Tonight’s show will kick off with an extreme first blood match between Ryan “The Reaper” Robinson and Draven Logan Kennedy! Most of the people here remember DLK from his path of destruction in ICW and PCW…Obviously, Leo decided to hire him, and it looks like a good move.
RC: Exactly! After that, we’ve got a singles match, where Stevie Wicked faces one of the young guns, Amped, in their first match EVER! Pretty exciting, huh, Lucius? You’ve been quiet all this time, friend, come on, give us your opinion!
Lucius Rose (rolling his eyes): You want to know what I think?
RC: Yeah, friend! You look too uptight! Sit back, enjoy the party!
LR: I’ve met Amped backstage, those kids belong in elementary school. For any kid with ADHD, wrestling isn’t exactly the best summer job out there. Not to mention how they probably have sexual experiences at night with a can of Red Bull.
RC (slightly nervous): Eh…Hah…There’s nothing wrong about a drink, man! Hey, do you want some tequila? That cheers everybody up, he-hey!
LR: I didn’t know whales could be alcoholic commentators. As a matter in fact, I didn’t know there were whales in Mexico.
AM: Wow, wow, tone it down, man. After the great Amped match…
LR: …Which I strongly recommend as your break time to go pee-pee some Amp down the can...Don’t worry about Amped themselves, they’ll handle flushing their careers down the toilet in a few minutes.
AM (getting annoyed, pretending to ignore Lucius): …Comes a great intergender singles match between Jill Cruz and Kai. Both of them are extremely talented, and this looks like a great match to come!
RC: Yes, but the fun doesn’t stop just there! Afterwards, two teams will fight for a spot at the first LW World Tag Team Championship match, which will go down in a month! The first team to be there will be known today, when The Bull & Ape Alliance meets the Second City Saviors!
LR: Excuse me…Bull and Ape?!
RC: Why yes, friend, what’s the problem?
LR: Would it be too hard to have a serious tag team division instead of the Happy Campers and Ball and Rape? Doesn’t this company know the meaning of competence? And what is it with you always calling me friend? I’ve never seen you before, and I disapprove same sex relationships, so get your mind out of the gutter.
AM (looking on, stunned): You…Disapprove them?! What the fuck are you doing on LIBERTARIAN Wrestling?
LR: Yes, I do not agree with those kinds of relationships. I can tell by your reaction that you’re a lesbian, which is understandable, if you bear in mind that most decent men have criteria in their selections. And to answer your second question, I’m here because I need cash, simply put.
AM: First, I can tell by your pale skin and constant rejection of all women that you are a virgin. Second, where the fuck can you spend money if you pretty much live away from everyone?
LR: I spent it in absolute sound-cancelling earplugs and a manual on how to deal with lesbians. And wouldn’t you know, it’s useful since I landed nearby a counterfeit Texan-Mexican version of Moby Dick and Kensi crime-solver here.
RC: Gah, quit the bad humor! It’s time to party! Anyways, after we’re done with that tag team match, we’ve got a great main event for you! The LW Freedom Championship is contested in a triple threat match between Syn, Liam Reilly and J.T. Banks!
LR: Who really cares? They’re defending that title every week, just a series of boring filler for when we don’t have commercials to air, big deal.
AM: I should ask Leo Hawkins some authorization to slap the holy fuck out of your face.
LR: The Libertarian Party called, they want a LGBT activist to run for Senate. I think Ricky should be there too, no straight man can ever drink a mimosa.
AM (pulling up sleeves, enraged): Maybe I don’t need no fucking authorization.
RC: Wow, take it easy!
AM: How can anyone take it easy with this assclown on the table? I was trying to avoid a fight between you and Ricky, but apparently the fight is on, between US!
LR: Ah…(Provokingly ignoring Amy’s fury) Women in their period. The time of the month where single men can feel good about themselves.
AM: Son of a b-
RC: --Let’s cut to our first match of the night! Libertarian Wrestling is starting off strong with a violent First Blood match, pitting Ryan “The Reaper” Robinson against Draven Logan Kennedy! To our great ring announcer, Tyrone Whitaker, take it away!
The camera cuts to the center of the ring, to the ring announcer who is about to speak.
Tyrone Whitaker: The following contest is the first ever Libertarian Wrestling match, contested under First Blood rules!
The lights go out for a few seconds, "Don’t Fear The Reaper" by HIM hits the sound system, a weird looking blue light covers the arena and Ryan "The Reaper" Robinson steps out on the stage and looks around with a twisted smile on his face, he raises his right fist in the air and holds it up as he walks to the ring.
TW: Introducing first, from a Dark Basement in Winschester, Kentucky, weighing in at 268 pounds: Ryan "The Reaper" Robinson!!!
Once he gets to the ring he puts it down and slides under the ropes, stands to his feet and raises it again. He sits down and rocks back and forth as he waits for his opponent.
"My Curse" By Killswitch Engage plays and Draven Logan Kennedy made his way to the ring.
TW: And his opponent, from London, Ohio, weighing in at 264 pounds: "The Psychotic Avenger", Draven Logan Kennedy!!!
Reaper doesn't wait for the announcer to finish with the intro as he stands up, rolls out of the ring and begins brawling with Draven to start off the match.
*DING DING DING*
Draven gets the better of the exchange, rocking The Reaper with a flurry of uppercuts, then Irish Whips him hard into the barricade. He charges - Reaper countered with a Back body Drop, sending Draven over the barricade and landing hard on the concrete!
RC: Draven falls right into the concrete, in tremendous pain! Unbelievable, the match has been going on for one minute and I am stupidly smiling and cheering like a giddy schoolgirl!
LR: You’re easily excitable, we get it. The next time you have sex, just make sure you bring a stopwatch. If it counts over twelve seconds send an ambulance to my house, maybe check for gas leaks or anything hallucinogenic.
AM: I’d be careful with those gas leaks, it’d be a shame if you lost all your Nazi memorabilia…
RC: Ha-haaa!
LR: Can’t afford some of those, yet. Want to help me out? Your cheap breast implants would be a hit in the bad movie industry.
AM: …Idiot.
Reaper goes over the barricade and goes on the attack as Draven gets to his feet with some hard right hands. He grabs Draven by the head and starts dragging him towards the tech area in the crowd, then slams him into the railing. He picks up one of the metal casings for the equipment, but Draven blasts him with clubbing blow to the back, causing him to drop it! Draven picks it up - He swings and nails Reaper right between the eyes!
AM: Wow, Reaper got hit very violently! I think this could be the end, he probably broke his nose!
There was no blood, so Draven went right back onto the attack, dragging Reaper over to the barricade - he throws him skull first into the barricade, then tosses him back into the ringside area!
AM: Reaper’s surviving instinct is amazing! How did he prevent himself from bleeding?
LR: He stole one of your tampons.
AM: All you do is bitch, moan and provoke everyone else! You’re here to ANNOUNCE! So yeah, call the fucking match!
LR: Cursing is ugly. Oh, wait, you’re ugly too. See? Things work out.
RC: Please, settle down, friends, and look at the match! I mean, it’s literally in front of us!
Draven once again picked up Reaper and then dragged him over to the announce table. He went to slam his head into it - Reaper blocks it! Reaper elbows him in the ribs a few times - he slams Draven skull first into the table! He sees that Draven isn't bleeding, so he begins ripping apart the table and picks up one of the monitors.
RC: Hey, hey, Reaper, chill! Want a banana daiquiri?
LR: *sigh*
Draven stands and turns around - Reaper bashes him right in the face with the monitor!!!
AM: This has got to be it! There’s no way that huge blow didn’t bust the man wide open!
The ref checks Draven for blood, and finds nothing, signaling for the match to continue.
LR: So the match is continuing? Great…I’m bored.
AM: YOU’RE WHAT?! These guys have been beating the holy hell out of each other with strength and passion like never seen before, and you’re bored with this match?!
LR: Yeah. I could try and play Amy Mustaine for a change, see if I get more amused. (*does high-pitched, overly dramatic Amy impersonation*) Oh my god! Reaper is about to attack Draven with the steel steps! This could be the end!
Reaper goes over to the steel steps and lifts them up, thinking about ending this one early. He turns around - Draven hits a big boot right into the steps, knocking them right into Reaper's face! The referee quickly checks to see if Reaper is bleeding, then signals for the match to continue after finding no blood.
RC: How are these men still standing?!
Draven picks Reaper back up an, and sends him back to the ground with a headbutt. he picks Reaper up again, then sends him back down to a knee with another headbutt. He suddenly goes for underneath the ring and pulls out a kendo stick. HE waits for Reaper to stand - He swings - Reaper blocks it! The two struggle over the Kendo Stick, before Draven kicks Reaper in the midsection and takes the stick back. He goes for another swing - Reaper ducks it and counters into a modified spinebuster, sending Draven spine first into the ring apron!!! He wastes no time in dragging Draven over to the steps and locking in an inverted facelock - he drops down with a back breaker - Soul Breaker DDT, dropping Draven onto the back of his head, right onto the steel steps!!!
RC: SOUL BREAKER DDT! SOUL BREAKER DDT! In any match this could be the end…But you must make him bleed, Reaper! He’s pretty much all yours now!
LR: Homosexuality is wrong.
AM: Nazism is a crime, shut it.
LR: How do you know that I am a Nazi?
AM: How do you know that I am a lesbian?
Reaper takes a moment to get it together, then tosses Draven back into the ring, along with the Kendo Stick. He then went underneath the ring and started tossing other weapons into the ring, then slid in. He picked up the Kendo Stick and waited for Draven to stand - he nails him right in the ribs with the kendo stick! Draven doubles over - another shot, this time to the back! Draven arches his back in pain as he turns around - Reaper blasts him right between the eyes, flooring Draven! The referee chacks Draven for blood, then signals that the match will continue.
AM: This is pure insanity!
Reaper pick Draven back up to his feet and whips him hard into a corner. He backs into the far corner, then charges - He splashes Draven in the corner! He runs back to the corner, then charges again - Another splash in the corner! Draven stumbled out of the corner as Reaper bounced off the ropes - Running DDT! Reaper tells the ref to check Draven, but the ref doesn't see any blood. Reaper picks Draven up and whips him to the ropes - He ducks The Big Boot - ALL ROUND THE WORLD!!! Out of nowhere, Draven has laid out The Reaper with The All Around The World!!!
LW (*impersonating Amy again*): OH MY GOD! ALL AROUND THE WORLD! REAPER IS DOWN AND THE CROWD IS LOVING IT!
AM: Do that without my voice and you’ll finally be a serious announcer.
Both men are down at this point, neither one moving. Slowly, Draven crawled over to the ropes and tried to pull himself up, while Reaper struggled to stand. The two make it to their feet, and Reaper swings and lands a hard right. Draven returns the favor, and the two soon traiding blows in the middle of the ring. Reaper knees Draven right in the ribs, then goes for a Bulldog - Draven counters and sends him flying! Reaper staggers back to his feet and turns around - Draven lifts him up and drops him with a Sidewalk Slam! Draven then picks up the two chairs that Reaper tossed into the ring and places one under Reaper's head. He raises the chair high - CON CHAIR TO-Reaper moved out of the way at the very last second!
RC: Reaper luckily escaped from the Con-Chair-To! That would definitely put an end to this match!
Draven held onto the chair, waiting for Reaper to stand. Reaper slowly made it to his feet and ducks the chairshot - boot to the midsection by Reaper, then hooks both arms - REAPING DEATH DROP!!! RIGHT ONTO THE CHAIR!!! Draven may be out cold!!!
LW: I actually liked that move, it was sick!
RC: There you go, finally happy! Do you want a daiquiri? Come on, I want you guys to party!
LW: …No.
RC (muttering): Antisocial idiot.
LW: What’s that?
RC (nervous): Uh…Nothing.
The ref checks for any blood, and tells Reaper he's found none. Reaper is in disbelief! He slowly stands up, then signals for another Reaping Death Drop. He pulls Draven back to his feet, and hooks both arms, going for another Reaping Death Drop…
RC: Oh my god, I think this can be the end…
AM: WAIT! Draven fights out of it, sending Reaper into the corner!
Draven picks up a chair and blasts Reaper right in the face, denting the chair down the middle!! Reaper didn't go down from the shot, so Draven swings again - he knocks Reaper from the ring with that vicious chairshot!!!
AM: This has got to be it! No man can ever survive such a hardcore chairshot without bleeding!
RC: The ref is quickly rushing in to check on Reaper… YES! YES! REAPER IS BUSTED WIDE OPEN! WE HAVE A WINNER!
*DING DING DING*
The crowd applauds the great match as the referee raises Draven’s hand in victory, who is still a bit dizzy.
Tyrone Whitaker: Here is your winner, "The Psychotic Avenger", DRAVEN LOGAN KENNEDY!
Draven is recovering at one corner from this bout, and, meanwhile, we cut to the announcers.
RC: What a way to open the show strong! Alright, folks at home, we’re going to take a commercial break, when we come back, Nos Thompson faces Stevie Wicked!
*COMMERCIAL BREAK*
We fade back to the Jacksonville Veterans Memorial Arena, where the crowd cheers intensely.
RC: Welcome back to Liberty, folks! And here we have another match for you! Let’s just cut to it!
"Click Click Boom" by Saliva bursts through the PA system with barely any response from the fans. Nos Hudson and Bull Thompson come out into the stage, punching the air enthusiastically, and sprint at insane speed into the ring.
Tyrone Whitaker: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from Sacramento, CA, accompanied to the ring by Bull Thompson, in his debut wrestling match...NOSTRADAMUS HUDSON!
RC: Well, these two are homegrown Libertarian Wrestling talent! This is their first wrestling match ever! Awesome, eh?
LR: These guys are naturally born curtain jerkers, I swear. They would be opening the show if it weren’t for Leo’s stupid obsession of opening the show with more attractive matches.
RC: And it is a good policy! Provides a better show for the loyal fans, maybe keeps the ratings stable!
LR: Who is that idiot to change the way cards are organized?
They both taunt, in desperate attempts to cheer up the crowd, who seems to be bored about these two wrestlers. They await the entrance of Nos’ opponent.
AM: And here comes Stevie Wicked!
“Bat Country” by Avenged Sevenfold starts playing to a not so favorable reception from the crowd. Stevie Wicked walks straight to the ring with a serious demeanor, crudely ignoring the fans.
Tyrone Whitaker: And his opponent, from Elizabethtown, Kentucky, weighing in at 235 pounds…STEVIE WICKED!
Once in the ring, Stevie starts slandering the fans. Nos looks pumped up.
*DING DING DING*
RC: And here we go! Nos Hudson sprinting towards Stevie Wicked…Wow, impressive, he’s actually delivering a few hard blows to Wicked's nose!
LR: Not for long! The energy drink sponsoring crash test dummy is tossed across the ring with a powerful clothesline by Stevie! He had that one coming.
AM: Wow, Lucius performing decent commentary! WOO!
RC: Wicked quickly rushes in with a Running Knee Strike! Hudson falls to the ground in pain, but Stevie picks him up, giving him no rest…SIDEWALK SLAM!
LR: So thirty seconds into the match and Hudson is already in serious disadvantage? Wow, beats my predictions.
AM: Whatever. Nos is on his knees, and Stevie delivers a picture-perfect dropkick right between his eyes! Wicked looking to finish this one already!
ONE!!
TWO!!
KICKOUT!!
RC: No chance! Looks like he’s going to stick with Nostradamus for a little while more!
LR: Twenty bucks say his butt-buddy comes to rescue him...
AM (in a desperate attempt to shut up Lucius): Okay, you’re on, asshole! Wicked is annoyed by the kickout, looks like he’s going to attempt something from the top rope while Nos Hudson is down… DIVING BODY SPLASH!
RC: Stevie connects it perfectly, and here’s another cover attempt…
ONE!!
TWO!!
…?
RC: Wait a second, Bull Thompson has dragged the referee out of the ring, look at that! Stevie Wicked is looking at him, pissed!
LR: Now, Amy, my twenty bucks?
AM: Fuck’s sake…I’ll give them to you soon. Anyway, Bull Thompson is now inside the ring, and he tries to spear Wicked, who quickly kicks him in the gut and lifts him up high…POWERBOMB!
RC: Here comes Nos from behind…
LR: His area of interest, it seems.
RC: Attempting to lock some sort of choke on Stevie Wicked, but he fights back with a snapmare! Stevie Wicked gets Hudson back to his feet…BRIDGING GERMAN SUPLEX! And he quickly changes to a LEBELL LOCK! Hudson is struggling to hold it together!
LR: The referee is back up, just tap, pissbag, you’re not getting away from this one!
RC: Nos Hudson TAPS OUT! This one is over!
LR: I knew these idiots wouldn’t win.
*DING DING DING*
Tyrone Whitaker: Here’s your winner…STEVIE WICKED!
Wicked lets go of the LeBell lock and celebrates peacefully. The referee attempts to raise his hand in victory but he doesn’t allow it, and calmly walks off, ignoring everything and everyone. Bull Thompson and Nos Hudson keep crawling on the stage, trying to put it together.
RC: And that’s another match, folks! We’ll be back in a bit with—
Suddenly the lights are cut off, and Ricky Cash interrupts his line. The titantron lights up with a video...
After the video ends, the lights are turned back on. Stevie Wicked and Amped stare at the titantron, confused.
RC: What was that all about? I’ve never heard about this “J.C. Epick” guy!
LR: First impression: Idiot can’t spell. Or wrestle, anyway.
AM: Well, I think we’ll find out in due time…But right now we gotta take a commercial break, we’ll be right back with more amazing LW action! Stick around!
*COMMERCIAL BREAK*
“Holy Wars…The Punishment Due” by Megadeth hits the PA system loudly, meeting no reaction from the crowd. Suddenly, Leo Hawkins comes out in a fancy tuxedo suit, smiling to the crowd, to which he receives a huge ovation. Leo tags a few fans’ hands down his way to the ring, climbs the steel steps, and taunts once again, inside the ring, to a loud reaction from the Jacksonville fans. The music stops, and Leo grabs a microphone, smiling.
Leo: Welcome to LIBERTARIAN WRESTLING!
The crowd goes absolutely wild.
Leo: As you may have probably heard, this is my latest attempt to run a company in the wrestling business. I wanted to start off simple. Good old Terrell Ryder wanted to help me with this fed’s budget, but I didn’t want to be helped this time. I wanted something free, something independent, where I can just rely on my own credit and produce money and entertainment. Well, for the next months I have rented the Jacksonville Veterans Memorial Arena, where we will randomly pop out a few times per month. If it goes well, we move to a bigger arena. If not, we’ll just head to a smaller one. Anyways, we’re almost halfway through the show, and, I’d like to hear some feedback. How’s the show coming along so far?
The crowd cheers heavily.
RC: This is being awesome! Best show I’ve ever been in!
LR: …Shut up. Someone more important and less Puerto Rican is talking.
AM: So you’re on his side?
LR: I’m not pro-Leo, just anti-Ricky.
Leo: Excellent. Well, I’m just here to say, I hope you have a great time tonight at Liberty. From this point forth, things can only get better. We’ve already got more talent signed up, waiting to be booked. Our first pay-per-view will be here after another Liberty, same arena, same time… And that’s where we will crown the first ever LW Universal Heavyweight Champion! There’s no way you can miss this event…”…And Justice For All”, and there’s no way you can know when it is coming, haha! Have a fun show!
“Holy Wars” plays again as Leo sits at ringside, and the crowd delivers a loud ovation. We cut back to Ricky Cash.
RC: And well, after this powerful speech from Leo, we’ll be proud to present you yet another match!
Tyrone Whitaker: The following contest is scheduled for one fall.
The crowd cheers.
Tyrone Whitaker: Introducing first.
"Whatever" by Our Lady Peace hits and Kai quickly walks down the isle to the ring, glancing at the crowd a few times.
Tyrone Whitaker: Making his way to the ring, weighing in at 210 pounds... KAI!!!
He walks up the steel steps and enters the ring, then crosses his arms as he awaits his opponent.
Tyrone Whitaker: And his opponent!
The lights go out as "Yeah" by Usher feat. Ludacris and Lil Jon starts to play. The strobe lights go back and forth, smoke machines going off as she does the Glow Stick Dance in shadow as the spot light shines on Cruz she drop the Glow Stick counting to dance her way down to the ring.
Tyrone Whitaker: Making her way to the ring, from Beverly Hills, California... "THE SPOILED PRINCESS"... JILL CRUZ!!!
Jill is walking up the steps and orders the ref to open the rope as she gets in the ring under middle rope. She pulls more glow stick out as the lights go out as she does the glow stick dance.
*DING! DING! DING!*
AM: This match up is officially underway. Kai and Jill circle around the ring to get a good positioning for a lock up. They lock up, and Kai immediately gets the advantage with a side headlock. Jill pushes him off into the ropes. Kai comes back off the rebound... Shoulder block!
RC: Jill immediately gets to her feet and Kai comes after her... but Jill leapfrogs him. Kai comes back on the rebound... Hurricanrana!
LR: My damn! Look at that ass. It's fucking magnificent.
RC: We're at a wrestling show and all you can think about is booty?
LR: Yeah. Have a problem with that?
AM: Moving on. Jill is waiting anxiously for Kai to get up. Kai gets up and Jill sprints towards him... Jumping leg lariat! Jill's not wasting any time as she goes for the cover.
ONE!!!!
TWO!!!!
KICKOUT!!!!
AM: Kai kicks out at two! Jill gets Kai up to his feet and whips him into the corner. Jill runs in after him... NO! Kai moves out of the way and Jill hits chest first into the turnbuckle. Jill stumbles out of the turnbuckle and Kai senses it... Belly to belly suplex!
LR: Kai's proving to be very, very intense so far. He's making Jill wish that she had never entered the business.
RC: I need me some Tequila. Right now, and a naked lady giving me a lap dance.
LR: This is one of those times where I'll agree with you.
AM: You men are disgusting. Jill gets back to her feet, but Kai isn't wasting time as he goes behind Jill and clasps his hands around her waist before lifting her up... BRIDGING GERMAN SUPLEX! And Kai has the pin as well.
ONE!!!!
TWO!!!!
KICKOUT!!!!
AR: This time, Jill Cruz kicks out.
LR: This Kai, is just mother fucking ruthless. Every move he does, it's like he's going to kill you off eventually.
RC: Definitely. This cat is very impressive so far. And his brother is in action in our main event later on tonight.
AM: That's right, Syn against J.T. Banks and Liam Reilly to crown the first Freedom Champion. Jill uses the ropes to get to her feet. Kai goes for a clothesline, but Jill trips him up and hits a drop toe hold before bouncing off the ropes... and hitting a leg drop on the back of the neck.
RC: I'm liking the pace of this match. It's not a slowed up moment right now. Both competitors are giving it their all in these moments.
AM: Right they are, Ricky. Kai gets back to his feet, but Jill hits him with an arm drag. She goes for an armbar, but Kai uses his size advantage to get Jill onto his shoulders. Kai spins Jill around... and drops Jill down with a sidewalk slam.
LR: This guy is ruthless. If any of the wrestler's get out of control, maybe we can enlist him as a body guard.
RC: I'll drink to that. I swear!
LR: Shut up you fucking drunk. Now let's get back to watching Jill Cruz's fine ass compete against a destructive force in Kai.
AM: Kai gets to the top turnbuckle. Jill gets up and Kai flies... Diving clothesline! And Jill Cruz is back down on the mat. Kai goes for the cover.
ONE!!!!
TWO!!!!
NO!!!!
AM: Yet another kickout for Jill Cruz.
LR: I don't want this match to end, but I like both competitors.
RC: Take a drink of beer and it'll clear your mind.
LR: YOU IDIOT! I said I didn't want this match to end. Fuck!
Kai has a sinister look in his eyes as he waits for Jill to get up. She eventually gets up, but stumbles around. Kai has a look of amusment on his face before turning back to being serious. He grabs Jill's arm and whips her into the corner. Kai runs after her... but Jill moves out of the way, causing Kai to be the one to hit chest first into the turnbuckle. Kai stumbles out, but Jill is there and drops him down with a neckbreaker.
AM: Now it's Kai who is at a dis-advantage.
RC: Jill needs to stay on Kai to hopefully wear him down.
AM: Jill raises Kai up to his knees. Jill kicks Kai in the head. She does it again... and again... and again before kicking him in the chest once. She kicks Kai in the head once last time... and Kai drops down to the mat like a sack of potatoes.
LR: Those kicks can be deadly as hell. I'm glad I'm not the receiving end of those.
RC: Only way you'd be on the receiving end of getting your ass kicked over a girl, is if her father found you in the act with his daughter.
LR: HEY! That was just one time. I didn't know she was sixteen. I SWEAR!
RC: But in America, it's ILLEGAL!
AM: Ugh! Enough with the arguing. Jill gets Kai to his knees one more time and runs towards him... SHINING WIZARD! And she immediately goes for the cover.
ONE!!!!
TWO!!!!
NO!!!!
AM: Now it's Kai with the kickout.
RC: This match is getting good. Both competitors have been pretty even so far. Not a lot of high-flying tactics, but Jill has been able to survive Kai's ruthless attack so far.
LR: Not to mention, she's doing great with her martial-arts background.
AM: Exactly. Jill steps out onto the apron and stands there, waiting for Kai to get up. Kai gets up, and Jill leaps on the center of the ropes... SPRINGBOARD CLOTHESLINE!!! Jill with the Springboard Clothesline. She bounces off the ropes and as Kai gets up... Jill hits him with a clothesline to take him down.
RC: Woo-hoo! This is becoming a party. I'm wasted!
LR: God damn you're annoying the shit out of me. I'm trying to watch this match, and all you're being is an obnoxious jackass.
Jill Cruz gets back up and goes to the apron one more time. Kai eventually gets to his feet, but is a bit on the groggy side of things. As Kai turns around, Jill leaps on the center ropes again... SPRINGBOARD!!! NO!!! Kai counters with a Dropkick in mid-air, and Jill is taken down to the mat, but Kai is down as well. The referee looks at both competitors and begins the count.
ONE!!!!
TWO!!!!
THREE!!!!
FOUR!!!!
FIVE!!!!
SIX!!!!
SEVEN!!!!
EIGHT!!!!
NINE!!!!
Both Jill and Kai get up before the ten count. Fatigue is settting in for both of them as they stare at one another. Jill lands a punch to Kai which receives some boos from the crowd. Kai fires back with a right of his own to cheers from the crowd, much to his surprise. Jill lands another one. Kai fires back. Back and forth they go. Jill... Kai... Jill... Kai! It's insanity in that ring right now. Jill goes for another clothesline, but Kai ducks and kicks Jill in the gut. He then grabs her by the hair... and drops her down to the mat. Jill immediately gets back up, but receives a clothesline from Kai. Jill gets up once more, but Kai kicks her in the gut and places her in position... DOUBLE UNDERHOOK BACKBREAKER!!! He just dropped Jill Cruz with a Double Underhook Backbreaker.
AM: Kai has finally gotten himself back into the match.
RC: And with authority. He just crushed Jill Cruz like a girl who didn't put out for him. Almost like the girls Louie here dates.
LR: Why are you mentioning me, bitch?
RC: Because it's more fun. That's why.
AM: Kai immediately gets Jill back to her feet, kicks her in the gut and sets her up... T-BONE SUPLEX! Kai drops Jill with the T-Bone Suplex!
RC: Oh this has got to be it.
AM: Kai hooks the leg for the cover. You might be right, Ricky!
ONE!!!!
TWO!!!!
THR---NO!!!!
AM: Just in the nick of time, Jill Cruz kicks out!
RC: And Kai's getting a bit frustrated right now. Not the thing you want to do in this situation.
Kai looks at the referee with a sense of fury in his eyes, feeling that he had the three count. He gets Jill up to her feet and lands in a series of Martial arts kicks to the mid-section. Kai whips Jill across the ring. Jill comes back off the rebound... Back body drop by Kai. Kai looks up and wipes the sweat off his brow before stalking Jill, waiting for her to get back to her feet. Jill gets back up, and Kai goes for a clothesline, but instead, Jill ducks and hits it... CRUISING!
AM: Cruz just nailed Kai with the Spine Kick!
RC: Jill is literally in the drivers seat now. Nothing stands in the way of victory here tonight.
AM: Jill steps out to the apron and goes to the top rope. She sees that Kai is in position and proceeds to dive off... CRUZ CONTROL!!! NO!!! Kai just managed to roll out of the way at the last minute, and Jill Cruz eats nothing but canvas.
RC: That sucks for her because now it looks like all that momentum has vanished. SON OF A BITCH! I'm out of liquor!
LR: That's what you get for drinking it all very fast, dumb ass.
AM: Kai sees Jill now up and out on her feet. He grabs Jill's arm, goes to the ground and locks it in... CROSSFACE! CROSSFACE! He's got Jill locked in the crossface.
RC: And nowhere to go either. She's stuck in the middle of that ring.
LR: Damn, I was really liking to see her go a little longer, but I guess we gotta chalk up the victory to Kai then.
AM: Not until it's over. Not until it's over.
Jill tries every which way to get out of this. She inches towards the ropes, but the pressure is mounting up for her. Jill tries once more to get the ropes, but she can't reach it. She has no choice but to tap out, and this match is over.
*DING! DING! DING!*
Tyrone Whitaker: Here is your winner of the match by submission... KAI!
"Whatever" by Our Lady Peace hits and Kai raises his arm in the air to a mixed reaction from the crowd.
RC: Amazing victory by Kai here!
LR: Ummm…Mind you if I ask a question way more interesting than some idiot beating up a women?
RC (annoyed): What is it…umm…friend?
LR: If I ever get on a waiting list for a liver, can I have yours? It looks pretty amazing since you drank a shitload of heavy alcohol already and you’re still coherent. Well, as coherent as you can be.
RC: Shut up. We’ve got to move on forth! We’re taking another commercial break, see you in a bit people!
*COMMERCIAL BREAK*
Upon returning to broadcast, we immediately pan to a shot of Tyrone Whitaker.
Tyrone Whitaker: The following is an LW World Tag Team Championship Qualifier Match, scheduled for one fall!
The crowd cheers.
Tyrone Whitaker: Introducing team number one!
"Psychosocial" by Slipknot hits the sound system and out comes Bull Connor, Ape Simmons and there manager Jimmy Gambino.
Tyrone Whitaker: Being accompanied to the ring by Jimmy Gambino, from Miami, Florida, at a combined weight of 1,000 pounds! Bull Connor and Ape Simmons... THE BULL AND APE ALLIANCE!!!
They ignore everything and walk straight to the ring as Bull yells about how he is the toughest man in the world and him and Ape curses at the fans.
Tyrone Whitaker: And their opponents!
Gunshots ring throughout the arena. Then "Wasting Time" by Red plays as Daniel Ryserson and Jackson Knite walk out to a mixed reaction. Daniel walks to the ring barely paying attention to the fans as Jackson slaps some fans' hands.
Tyrone Whitaker: On their way to the ring, from Chicago, Illinois, at a combined weight of 427 pounds! Daniel Ryerson and Jackson Knite! Together they are... THE SECOND CITY SAVIORS!!!
They climb both climb onto the apron. Daniel jumps over the top rope while Jackson poses on the turnbuckle before jumping into the ring. Daniel stands in the middle of the ring as Jackson runs by him off the ropes. Jackson stops in the middle where Daniel stands facing away from the ramp. They flip off their opponents before leaning on the corner turnbuckle.
*DING! DING! DING!*
AM: And this match up is officially underway. Bull Connor and Jackson Knite to start this one off for their teams.
RC: Yo, this isn't going to be very pretty for the Second City Saviors. Both Bull and Ape weigh 500 pounds.
AM: You have a point there. Jackson circles around, trying to think of a way to take down the 500 pound behemoth. He kicks at Bull's legs. Bull goes for Jackson, but Jackson runs back to the corner to avoid getting beaten down.
LR: Is this guy for real? Playing chicken shit offense against two big mother fuckers. What the fuck?
RC: Louie, I think it's great strategy for the smaller men. You gotta do at least something to avoid getting beaten.
LR: ...Hn.
Bull goes to run towards Jackson, but Jackson moves out of the way and Bull hits chest first into the turnbuckle. Jackson runs up... and dropkicks Bull in the back of the left knee. Bull is now out as he's draped on the second rope. Jackson runs towards him and goes for it... Tiger feint kick to the head of Bull Connor! NO! Bull caught him! Bull caught him! Bull grabs Jackson and has him up in the air as he walks away from the ropes. Bull looks like he's enraged as he drops Jackson down... HIGH-ANGLE FALLING POWERSLAM!!! Bull Connor just crushed Jackson Knite with the High-angle falling powerslam!
AM: Bull Connor just squashed Jackson Knite with that devastating move.
RC: Crush is an understatement. He flatlined him. Bring out the gurney's and a Margarita for me.
AM: Is alcohol really the only thing you care about?
RC: Pretty much. Why?
AM: Nevermind. Bull pulling Jackson up and gets him into another powerslam position, here we go! NO! Jackson slides to behind Bull... REVERSE DDT! JACKSON TAKES THE LEAD!
RC: Jackson's gotta keep it going here. He took the bigger man down, but will it last.
Jackson uses the ropes to pull himself up, starts panting, tired, and flicks his boot in the air...
AM: PISTOL WHIP! PISTOL WHIP! Jackson with the Superkick to the jaw!
LR: But Bull is still up on his feet.
RC: That doesn't really matter much. Jackson stumbling. I think this is it... OH YEAH!
AM: Daniel Ryerson is now the legal man in this match!
RC: This should be good. How will Ryerson do against a 500 pound behemouth.
AM: Daniel Ryerson is in... Dropkick to Bull! He bounces off the ropes, Bull dazed... Chop block to the knees!
RC: Daniel is going for more. Ape better watch is ass...
AM: SPRINGBOARD DROPKICK ON APE SIMMONS! And Simmons lands on the floor below!
LR: OH MY GOD! Did you feel that?
RC: Feel what?
LR: When Ape fell. There was an Earthquake. I bet lots of people died when his fat ass landed on the protective mat.
RC: You are one heartless piece of work.
LR: Like I care! Go take a fucking drink and die!
RC: You really need to lighten up and have a drink every now and then. Tequilla totally changes the mood.
AM: Ugh! Just be peaceful for once! Daniel climbs the top turnbuckle. Bull gets to his feet and Daniel dives off... DIVING CROSSBODY! NO!!! Bull caught him, and drops Daniel down with a huge Samoan Drop!
RC: Damn, looks like we need more gurney's! AND WHERE THE HELL IS MY DAMN DAIQUIRI!?
LR: You numb nut, you were just asking for a Margarita earlier. Fucking shit, you need rehab you annoying little twat.
RC: At least I'm not a cold-hearted retard like you.
AM: This arguing is highly unnecessary. Let's just be friends instead. Bull Connor sprints into the ropes, bounces off one side, jumps over Daniel, bounces off the other side... That's plainly mocking Daniel!
LR: Those fat fucks can easily be mocked as well. They're the size of the Michelin men.
RC: Jackson and Daniel pretty much know that part as they did get two jobbing pieces of crap to wear those suits and act like complete and total punchbags. Which if you've seen PCW, YCW and the CWF. You would know that is the truth.
AM: Bull is inside the ring, taking advantage of the damage done. Daniel Ryerson getting up... and he is DOWN AGAIN! What a wicked clothesline by Bull Connor!
LR: Meh! I could care less about these two teams to be honest. They don't do anything for me. Especially Straight-Edge retards and the Ball and Rapists alliance.
AM: What the hell is wrong with you, you up-tight jackass?
LR: Nothing is wrong with me! I'm a perfectly fine human being who just doesn't like people. Have a problem with that?
AM: Daniel is slowly rising to his feet. However, Bull is sizing him up and runs with a full head of steam... BIG BOOT! And Daniel is back down to the mat.
RC: Daniel nearly got his head taken clean off his shoulders. Pretty sick if you ask me.
AM: Ape Simmons, this corpulent big man has entered the match! Right hand on Daniel! And another right to Jackson, a little pay-back.
Ape turns around, focusing his attention back on Daniel...
AM: Ape has got Daniel secure! Scoops him up... SPINEBUSTER! The ring just shook!
LR: Fucking hell! That's TWO earthquakes that has occurred in this match. These fat asses need to go on the Biggest Loser and shed all that weight off of them. It's fucking horrendous.
RC: Watch your mouth and take a drink of this delicious schnapps I got in my hand.
LR: I don't give a fuck about your alcohol you drunk fucking idiot! Jesus, you are fucking annoying.
AM: Both of your arguing is really annoying. Daniel has climbed the turnbuckle, high risk maneuver incoming, Ape turns around... ELBOW DROP! And here comes Bull from the outside to pummel on Jackson, the match has turned into absolute pandemonium!
RC: It's insanity is what it is. Thank god I have a great alcoholic beverage in my hand.
AM: The confusion strikes! Bull and Jackson furiously exchanging fists on the floor. Daniel Ryerson slowly getting to his feet... Ape with a SPEAR! NO!!! Daniel COUNTERS INTO A DDT!
RC: And immediately, Daniel has the leg hooked!
ONE!!!!
TWO!!!!
NO!!!!
AM: Jackson Knite saving the match for his team! At the last second.
RC: Jackson taking it to the air. He dives off... GHETTO STOMP! Jackson hit Ape Simmons with the double foot stamp to the chest.
AM: And now, Jackson goes for the cover. Isn't he not the legal man?
LR: Don't look at me! I don't know what the fuck is going on here.
ONE!!!!
TWO!!!!
NO!!!!
AM: BULL CONNOR OUT OF NOWHERE TO BREAK THE COVER! Jackson goes for a kick on him. Ape ducks... SPEAR! SPEAR! SPEAR!
LR: SHIT! FUCKING HELL! THE FAT WHALES ARE GOING TO CAUSE THE WORLD TO END!
RC: Oh my damn! You are hysterical! I'm gonna take it you'll be trippin' out on acid by the end of the show.
LR: SHUT UP YOU ALCOHOLIC BEANER!
AM: Ape lifts Jackson to his feet and brings him towards him... THE BANANNA SLAM!!! NO!!! Jackson somehow reverses it and hits a Double knee facebreaker.
RC: Ape stumbling to his feet, and turns around to see Daniel charging towards him... CHI-KO! CHI-KO! HE HIT ANOTHER ONE!
AM: Daniel with that Busaiku Knee Strike from out of nowhere, but now both men are down from exhaustion.
RC: And look at this! Jackson and Bull Connor have taken their fight to the outside, although both are hugely tired from the damage they themselves have taken
Daniel, grounded, slowly crawls towards the cover...
AM: I don’t think he’s going to make it!
RC: I think he might! He just might have enough in the tank to do so.
AM: Daniel drapes an arm over the prone body of Ape Simmons, here we go!
ONE!!!!
TWO!!!!
THREE!!!!
*DING! DING! DING!*
Tyrone Whitaker: Here are your winners of the match! Daniel Ryerson and Jackson Knite... THE SECOND CITY SAVIORS!!!
"Wasting Time" by Red hits the PA and Jackson and Daniel celebrate their victory while Bull and Ape are down.
AM: The Second City Saviors with the huge victory and they advance into the next round of the LW World Tag Team Championship tournament.
RC: Those two were impressive, but so was the Bull and Ape alliance. They were equally as good and provided a challenge. Louie, what did you think?
LR: First off, my name's not Louie, dumb nuts. Secondly, while the match wasn't bad, the tag team division can never be taken seriously to me. Especially with these types of teams in it.
RC: You really are an asshole, aren't you?
LR: No shit sherlock.
AM: I really wish for this damn arguing to stop. Fortunately, we have to take a break. When we come back, we will have more action for you. Don't go anywhere!
*COMMERCIAL BREAK*