Post by wearedoomed on Aug 14, 2012 20:07:43 GMT -5
=CHRIS DASH=
AAAAAWWWWWWWWW HELL TO THE YES! DROPPIN' THE ELBOW ON THAT SUMBITCH!
[The sound of water splashing and hitting the ground can be heard as it appears that the one and only Chris Dash is seen in a actually nice-looking bathtub, bubbles flowing out of the contraption like steam from a cauldron. In one bubble-clad hand is his favorite Rainbow Dash toy, while a John Cena figure is in the other. A make-shift wrestling ring that contains other various toys floats aimlessly. As he beats on the Cena toy with Rainbow Dash, Chris starts to gleefully talk in voices.]
=RAINCHRIS DASH=
*in a squeaky voice* Take that! And THAT! You wike that, don't ya, ya wittle butt-munch! Cower in the prwessence of the super-awesome Rwainbow Dash!
[As he continues to make Rainbow Dash stomp on John Cena, Chris starts waving around the Cena toy.]
=DASH CENA=
*in an overly-flamboyant voice* Like, OMG, Rainbow Dash! Stop it! You're, like, gonna make me break my nails! Oh, stop it!
=RAINCHRIS DASH=
And why should I? I'm only the most awesome, tawented, charwismatic and strwongest pony in, wike, the historwy of EVER! *poses* DUN-dah-dah-dah-DDUUUNNN!!
=DASH CENA=
No, you aren't! *limp wrist* You are so meaner than a KKK-ran Chik-Fil-A in the middle of Alabama!
=RAINCHRIS DASH=
Oh, oh! Feelin' a bit wedundant, are we? Well, Alwabama ain't got nothin' on me! Time for Rwainbow Dash to put the PWN in PONY!
[Swinging his arm around to make it look like Rainbow's going to do a dive, Rainbow gives Cena a Dropkick that knocks him out of his hand and into the hot water. Chris smiles stupidly as he makes Rainbow dance a little jig in celebration.]
=RAINCHRIS DASH=
*in a sing-song fashion* I am the GGRRRWWEEAAATTEEESSTT pony that ever WWWIIIEEVVEEDD! I was born to GIVE! And give and give and give! I am the grweatest pony--
[Just then, Chris cuts to a deep, Berry White-esque voice.]
=?=
Not so fast, villain!
=RAINCHRIS DASH=
Who dare chawwenges ME?!
[Chris pulls out a random He-Man figure, sword and all, as he continues his deep voice.]
=HE-DASH=
BY THE POWER OF--
=RAINCHRIS DASH=
Hold the phone and cuss out the operrator, He-She! One mega-cool Sonic Rwainboom, comin' up!
[After doing a cheesy "Whoosh!", Chris knocks He-Man with Rainbow Dash and sends him flying (read: "throws') with enough force to make the toy ricochet off the door.]
=RAINCHRIS DASH=
*poses triumphantly* Stick that up your grweyskull, ya nerf-herder! This wing is my domain! My house! My kingdom of kingwliness! No one who opposes me shall wlive to tell the tale!
[Now, Chris rummages through the water and pulls out some random wrestling toy. From the looks of it, it appears to be a figure of The Miz in street clothes.]
=RAINCHRIS DASH=
YES! Someone else for me to beat up and put in their plwace! State your name--
=RADAR DASH=
*in a hyperactive, shrill voice* OH MY GOD, IT'S A RING!!
=RAINCHRIS DASH=
*does a double-take*.........Wha?
=RADAR DASH=
IT'S A RING LIKE A RING THAT YOU SEE IN A GYM THAT HAS EVERYTHING BECAUSE IT'S A GYM THAT HAS EVERYTHING! YOU CAN TRAIN EVERYONE IN A RING BECAUSE NOT ALL GYMS HAVE RINGS! THIS RING IS AWESOME! THE ROPES! THE PLASTIC MAT! IT'S LIKE SOMETHING THAT MATTEL WOULD MAKE!
=RADAR DASH=
What are ya? Some kind of idiot?
=RADAR DASH=
AN ASIAN IDIOT, WHICH ISN'T THE SAME THING AS I'M AN IDIOT THAT'S ASIAN! AND I ALSO DON'T KNOW HOW TO USE PHONES!.......NUMBERS SSCCAAARREEE MMMMEEEEEE!
[As it looks like "Radar" will be on the receiving end of a curb-stomp, A Chris Dash action figure (with AWESOME detail in the hair, mind you) emerges from the depths.]
=CHRIS DASH=
What is this I see? Some retard trying to make a move on my ring? MY ring that was made from Jakks and not Mattel?! You gotta death-wish, wheezy?!
[He then switches back to his Rainbow Dash toy]
=RAINCHRIS DASH=
Oh, CHWRIS DASH! MY LWORD AND SAVIOR! This buck-toothed dweebasaur is twrying to--
=CHRIS DASH=
Bitch, you best get back in the kitchen and finish up those egg salad sandwiches before I go send your butt to the glue factory!
[Throwing Rainbow Dash aside, Chris clears his throat.]
=CHRIS DASH=
As for you, ruffian! *to "Radar"* You have no right to set foot in my ring....Or my bathtub, for that matter! A supposedly ten year old in the wrestling business? Really, now? Seriously? รtes-vous sรฉrieux?
=RADAR CHRIS=
WOW! ARE YOU ASIAN, TOO?!
=CHRIS DASH=
No! Where does thou get Asian from French?
=RADER CHRIS=
"THOU?" WHAT DOES "THOU" MEAN?
=CHRIS DASH=
It means that you're 'bout around another stupid saying away from a certain someone's size-twelve, custom-made wingtip boot being imprinted upside your hideous, Quasimodo skull!
=RADAR CHRIS=
..................
=CHRIS DASH=
So, kid, nothing to say?
=RADAR CHRIS=
......................................
=CHRIS DASH=
Penny for your thoughts, cheif?
=RADAR CHRIS=
...........................................................................
=CHRIS DASH=
Today, junior!
=RADAR DASH=
........................*grins* I just pooted. *looks* OH MY GOD A RING--
[Putting his own toy down, Chris proceeds to yank his Miz's head off before throwing it out of the tub. Getting up, Chris quickly wraps a towel around his nether-regions and steps out. Wiping off his mirror, he brushes all the excess bubbles off his face and shoulders as he examines the stubble on his chin. Grabbing a can of some generic shaving cream. Lathering his face, he snatches up his razor and starts to shave, all the while practicing his promo.]
=CHRIS DASH=
Is this what it comes down to? Moi, a former World Champion, being forced to contend with the Ralph Wiggum of wrestling? And, no, I'm not talking about The Ultimate Warrior, oh no -- some village idiot by the name of Radar. I know that my PCW tenure's been less than amazing, but surely there's a better opponent out there? Or, at least, someone who can, oh I don't know, WRESTLE? That kid's like Sin Cara if he got pulled back to the third grade twenty times in a row!
[As he starts running water over the blade to get the hair off, Chris continues.]
=CHRIS DASH=
Seriously, if you crossed Amazing Red's lack of skill with the bony body of Gollum, the intelligence of a door, the fashion sense of Lady Gaga and the voice of a tweenaged Nicholas Cage on estrogen, that would be freaking intimidating compared to Radar! So yeah, bronies and pegasisters, your good pastor kids you not when he declares that he ain't afraid of some coked-out, spot monkey goofball!
[Tapping the razor against the sink to get the water off for a moment, Chris applies it to his face once more.]
=CHRIS DASH=
It's funny how he acts like he's never seen a freaking wrestling ring before. What, he thought we all apply the trade on a trampoline? Well, boys and girls, as the more experienced, more successful and MUCH MUCH more handsome of the two, I'm most inclined to introduce that ugly, inbred face of his to the very real mat over and over and over.....and over, multiplied by ten-point-five! Look, Radar, I'mma sum this up nicely: You're not cut out for wrestling; You're not cut out for anything that requires physical contact! James Baker could wrap you in bubble-wrap and foam, and tape a list of medical contacts to your football helmet and I still wouldn't trust you with a glow-stick! You're that much of a walking botch machine! Even Sin Cara would be afraid to get in the ring with you -- NO, that's N-O-T, NOT a compliment! So, kid, do yourself a favor: Give up. Finish school, get a job flipping burgers, make out with a human of the opposite sex, blow your brains out when the pressures of the real world come down on you like your daddy during a four-day drinking binge!
[Upon getting rid of the last traces of his stubble, Chris splashes his face with cold water before all the hair goes down the drain. Pleased with what he has for the time being, Chris turns the water off and goes to put on some clothes..........But not before swiftly picking up his beloved Rainbow Dash and apologizing profusely for being such a lousy friend to her.]
=FIN=
AAAAAWWWWWWWWW HELL TO THE YES! DROPPIN' THE ELBOW ON THAT SUMBITCH!
[The sound of water splashing and hitting the ground can be heard as it appears that the one and only Chris Dash is seen in a actually nice-looking bathtub, bubbles flowing out of the contraption like steam from a cauldron. In one bubble-clad hand is his favorite Rainbow Dash toy, while a John Cena figure is in the other. A make-shift wrestling ring that contains other various toys floats aimlessly. As he beats on the Cena toy with Rainbow Dash, Chris starts to gleefully talk in voices.]
=RAINCHRIS DASH=
*in a squeaky voice* Take that! And THAT! You wike that, don't ya, ya wittle butt-munch! Cower in the prwessence of the super-awesome Rwainbow Dash!
[As he continues to make Rainbow Dash stomp on John Cena, Chris starts waving around the Cena toy.]
=DASH CENA=
*in an overly-flamboyant voice* Like, OMG, Rainbow Dash! Stop it! You're, like, gonna make me break my nails! Oh, stop it!
=RAINCHRIS DASH=
And why should I? I'm only the most awesome, tawented, charwismatic and strwongest pony in, wike, the historwy of EVER! *poses* DUN-dah-dah-dah-DDUUUNNN!!
=DASH CENA=
No, you aren't! *limp wrist* You are so meaner than a KKK-ran Chik-Fil-A in the middle of Alabama!
=RAINCHRIS DASH=
Oh, oh! Feelin' a bit wedundant, are we? Well, Alwabama ain't got nothin' on me! Time for Rwainbow Dash to put the PWN in PONY!
[Swinging his arm around to make it look like Rainbow's going to do a dive, Rainbow gives Cena a Dropkick that knocks him out of his hand and into the hot water. Chris smiles stupidly as he makes Rainbow dance a little jig in celebration.]
=RAINCHRIS DASH=
*in a sing-song fashion* I am the GGRRRWWEEAAATTEEESSTT pony that ever WWWIIIEEVVEEDD! I was born to GIVE! And give and give and give! I am the grweatest pony--
[Just then, Chris cuts to a deep, Berry White-esque voice.]
=?=
Not so fast, villain!
=RAINCHRIS DASH=
Who dare chawwenges ME?!
[Chris pulls out a random He-Man figure, sword and all, as he continues his deep voice.]
=HE-DASH=
BY THE POWER OF--
=RAINCHRIS DASH=
Hold the phone and cuss out the operrator, He-She! One mega-cool Sonic Rwainboom, comin' up!
[After doing a cheesy "Whoosh!", Chris knocks He-Man with Rainbow Dash and sends him flying (read: "throws') with enough force to make the toy ricochet off the door.]
=RAINCHRIS DASH=
*poses triumphantly* Stick that up your grweyskull, ya nerf-herder! This wing is my domain! My house! My kingdom of kingwliness! No one who opposes me shall wlive to tell the tale!
[Now, Chris rummages through the water and pulls out some random wrestling toy. From the looks of it, it appears to be a figure of The Miz in street clothes.]
=RAINCHRIS DASH=
YES! Someone else for me to beat up and put in their plwace! State your name--
=RADAR DASH=
*in a hyperactive, shrill voice* OH MY GOD, IT'S A RING!!
=RAINCHRIS DASH=
*does a double-take*.........Wha?
=RADAR DASH=
IT'S A RING LIKE A RING THAT YOU SEE IN A GYM THAT HAS EVERYTHING BECAUSE IT'S A GYM THAT HAS EVERYTHING! YOU CAN TRAIN EVERYONE IN A RING BECAUSE NOT ALL GYMS HAVE RINGS! THIS RING IS AWESOME! THE ROPES! THE PLASTIC MAT! IT'S LIKE SOMETHING THAT MATTEL WOULD MAKE!
=RADAR DASH=
What are ya? Some kind of idiot?
=RADAR DASH=
AN ASIAN IDIOT, WHICH ISN'T THE SAME THING AS I'M AN IDIOT THAT'S ASIAN! AND I ALSO DON'T KNOW HOW TO USE PHONES!.......NUMBERS SSCCAAARREEE MMMMEEEEEE!
[As it looks like "Radar" will be on the receiving end of a curb-stomp, A Chris Dash action figure (with AWESOME detail in the hair, mind you) emerges from the depths.]
=CHRIS DASH=
What is this I see? Some retard trying to make a move on my ring? MY ring that was made from Jakks and not Mattel?! You gotta death-wish, wheezy?!
[He then switches back to his Rainbow Dash toy]
=RAINCHRIS DASH=
Oh, CHWRIS DASH! MY LWORD AND SAVIOR! This buck-toothed dweebasaur is twrying to--
=CHRIS DASH=
Bitch, you best get back in the kitchen and finish up those egg salad sandwiches before I go send your butt to the glue factory!
[Throwing Rainbow Dash aside, Chris clears his throat.]
=CHRIS DASH=
As for you, ruffian! *to "Radar"* You have no right to set foot in my ring....Or my bathtub, for that matter! A supposedly ten year old in the wrestling business? Really, now? Seriously? รtes-vous sรฉrieux?
=RADAR CHRIS=
WOW! ARE YOU ASIAN, TOO?!
=CHRIS DASH=
No! Where does thou get Asian from French?
=RADER CHRIS=
"THOU?" WHAT DOES "THOU" MEAN?
=CHRIS DASH=
It means that you're 'bout around another stupid saying away from a certain someone's size-twelve, custom-made wingtip boot being imprinted upside your hideous, Quasimodo skull!
=RADAR CHRIS=
..................
=CHRIS DASH=
So, kid, nothing to say?
=RADAR CHRIS=
......................................
=CHRIS DASH=
Penny for your thoughts, cheif?
=RADAR CHRIS=
...........................................................................
=CHRIS DASH=
Today, junior!
=RADAR DASH=
........................*grins* I just pooted. *looks* OH MY GOD A RING--
[Putting his own toy down, Chris proceeds to yank his Miz's head off before throwing it out of the tub. Getting up, Chris quickly wraps a towel around his nether-regions and steps out. Wiping off his mirror, he brushes all the excess bubbles off his face and shoulders as he examines the stubble on his chin. Grabbing a can of some generic shaving cream. Lathering his face, he snatches up his razor and starts to shave, all the while practicing his promo.]
=CHRIS DASH=
Is this what it comes down to? Moi, a former World Champion, being forced to contend with the Ralph Wiggum of wrestling? And, no, I'm not talking about The Ultimate Warrior, oh no -- some village idiot by the name of Radar. I know that my PCW tenure's been less than amazing, but surely there's a better opponent out there? Or, at least, someone who can, oh I don't know, WRESTLE? That kid's like Sin Cara if he got pulled back to the third grade twenty times in a row!
[As he starts running water over the blade to get the hair off, Chris continues.]
=CHRIS DASH=
Seriously, if you crossed Amazing Red's lack of skill with the bony body of Gollum, the intelligence of a door, the fashion sense of Lady Gaga and the voice of a tweenaged Nicholas Cage on estrogen, that would be freaking intimidating compared to Radar! So yeah, bronies and pegasisters, your good pastor kids you not when he declares that he ain't afraid of some coked-out, spot monkey goofball!
[Tapping the razor against the sink to get the water off for a moment, Chris applies it to his face once more.]
=CHRIS DASH=
It's funny how he acts like he's never seen a freaking wrestling ring before. What, he thought we all apply the trade on a trampoline? Well, boys and girls, as the more experienced, more successful and MUCH MUCH more handsome of the two, I'm most inclined to introduce that ugly, inbred face of his to the very real mat over and over and over.....and over, multiplied by ten-point-five! Look, Radar, I'mma sum this up nicely: You're not cut out for wrestling; You're not cut out for anything that requires physical contact! James Baker could wrap you in bubble-wrap and foam, and tape a list of medical contacts to your football helmet and I still wouldn't trust you with a glow-stick! You're that much of a walking botch machine! Even Sin Cara would be afraid to get in the ring with you -- NO, that's N-O-T, NOT a compliment! So, kid, do yourself a favor: Give up. Finish school, get a job flipping burgers, make out with a human of the opposite sex, blow your brains out when the pressures of the real world come down on you like your daddy during a four-day drinking binge!
[Upon getting rid of the last traces of his stubble, Chris splashes his face with cold water before all the hair goes down the drain. Pleased with what he has for the time being, Chris turns the water off and goes to put on some clothes..........But not before swiftly picking up his beloved Rainbow Dash and apologizing profusely for being such a lousy friend to her.]
=FIN=