Post by The Pac on Feb 7, 2013 14:54:39 GMT -5
"Every man builds his world in his own image. He has the power to choose, but no power to escape the necessity of choice." - Ayn Rand
"These are unusual times, strange even. Strange is even putting it lightly. I mean, does anybody besides The Devil Himself see just how insane this really is?? The gentlemen upstairs have straight lost their marbles and now the glorious legacy of The Pac that I have spent many painstaking years building hangs by a thread held by none other than P.C.W.'s resident retard...Sir David."
The scene immediately opens up with a simple shot of Sir David the Midget gnawing on a size five shoe. The shot cuts over to The Devil Himself Dante Daevain where we see just his face with a very intense stare...virtually emotionless but emanating vast amounts of hatred.
Dante: "You malevolent menace."
The shot cuts back over to Sir David who is paying Dante no mind as he has the entire toe of the shoe stuffed into his mouth. Cut back over to Dante who continues to stare down Sir David the Midget.
Dante: "I shall stuff you inside of a pinata..."
The scene widens to where we now see a bit more of the surroundings. Dante and Sir David are inside of a warehouse break-room. The break-room has three windows on each side, one set looking into the storage area filled with boxes and the other set looking out at the production and work floor.
The break-room is a simple room built of cinder block and dry wall. At the far end of the break-room sits a Coke machine. Dante and Sir David are both sitting in the middle of the room in a pair of steel chairs and surrounded by tables facing one another. Dante is sipping on a Barq's Root Beer. As we look back out onto the work floor we see a plethora of machinery pumping out mass media in the form of a newspaper. After a moment of watching the machinery in action we now see a rather heavy-set man walking towards the break-room. Once there the man peeks inside as Dante takes a swig of root beer.
Paul: Uhm..Mr. Da-Da-oh-vain...
Dante is staring intently at Sir David who now has a Q-tip stuffed up his nose.
Dante: "Dante."
Paul: Oh...Uhm, Mr. Dante...
Dante: "Dante. No Mister. Just Dante."
Dante sips his root beer while continuing to stare down Sir David.
Paul: Dante...we ran the print that you requested. It is in the machine now and should run in this afternoon's issue.
Dante: "Excellent. This plan was so simple that it cannot fail...Newspaper, Craigslist, radio spots, bulletin boards...foolproof, I say!"
Dante offers a death glare towards Sir David.
Dante: "...Do you hear me, you tiny tea-bagging terror?!? You will NOT get in that ring!"
Our scene immediately begins to fade into another scene. This scene is a bit different than the last. Instead of a manufacturing warehouse we are now in an abandoned warehouse with semi-decent lighting. The floor is a bit dusty and there are a few rows of old-timey wooden folding chairs set up just outside of a functional wrestling ring. In these chairs are situated a vast variety of people...some old, some young, some male, and some female.
In the front row, center, are two all familiar faces...The Devil Himself Dante Daevain and Sir David the Midget. Dante is sipping on a strong cup of coffee with a clipboard in hand whilst Sir David is highly content with his juice box and the Slinky he has tangled about himself. Dante has a look of terrible inconvenience on his face as he sets his coffee down and speaks to the crowd gathered.
Dante: "Alright...Mat Boyd...You are next!"
A man standing about six foot, three inches gets up from his seat and begins to make his way to the ring. The man has a stubbly shaved head with a chin goatee and is wearing a tan Dickies jump-suit. The man enters the ring and paces back and forth.
Dante: "Show me what you've got, Mat. Cut me a promo. About me."
Mat continues to pace the ring as he begins to speak.
Mat: Well, Dante, for your information let's just say that you aren't going to make it to Slamboree in one piece...maybe two or three...but not one. The way I see it, you and I have unfinished business...not the shake hands, kiss and make-up, everything is hunky-dory kind of business..No..The somebody owes you an ass kicking kind of business. Unfortunately for you business will be thriving come Slamboree...
Mat ends his promo as Dante looks to be impressed.
Dante: "Solid, Mat. Now show me your ring skills."
A ring partner of sufficient skill is provided to Mat. Mat wastes no time in diving head first into the fray, literally...Mat trips over his own feet and face plants into the canvas. Mat gets up to his feet and springs forward to try and get a wrist-lock going, but he cannot seem to lock it in. Mat then spins his partner around and goes for a clothesline, but it is ducked, and as a result Mat spins completely around. Disoriented, Mat's partner connects with a well formed dropkick. Mat's bump, however, was not well formed as he lands mostly on his neck. Mat is writhing in pain as his partner grabs his wrist to help him up...and Mat simply taps out. Dante calls out...
Dante: "I believe Mat has had enough!"
Mat is still whimpering as he rolls out of the ring and walks off to a corner to regain his composure. Dante mutters to himself as he jots down notes.
Dante: "Such a waste. Helpless. Why??"
Dante sighs heavily as he goes back over the forms of thirty-one other failures. With a heavy-hearted look on his face, Dante calls the next tryout.
Dante: "...Curt Smith, you're up!"
A man from the third row stands up and comes to the ring. This man is wearing a full on cowboy ensemble, stirrups and all. Dante takes an interest in such a dressed individual as Curt enters the ring and stands in the middle.
Dante: "Okay, Curt. Showtime!"
There is momentary silence from Curt as he places his hands on his over-sized belt buckle. Suddenly...
Curt: Ooook-lahoma, where the wind comes sweepin' down the plain...And the wavin' wheat can sure smell sweet, When the wind comes right behind the rain.
Dante throws his clipboard in the air and slumps down into his chair...
Curt: OOOOk-lahoma, Ev'ry night my honey lamb and I, Sit alone and talk and watch a hawk makin' lazy circles in the sky.
Dante facepalms himself as Curt begins to do a choreographed dance in the ring. Dante pick up his clipboard and crumples up Curt's paper before yelling out...
Dante: "ENOUGH!! No more!!!"
Curt stops singing and dancing...
Curt: Wha-what?
Dante sighs in a depressing tone...
Curt: Did I? Did I get the part?
Dante stares blankly and menacingly at Curt...
Curt: Wa-Wasn't this the auditions for Oklahoma?
Dante continues to just stare at Curt before simply pointing to the exit door. Curt makes a hasty exit as Dante pops a few Advil with some coffee. Dante doesn't bother looking at the next sheet, only hesitantly calling out...
Dante: "Next!"
A rather aged man begins to come to the ring. Dante was about to stand and assist the man but was waved off. Dante shrugs as the gentleman climbs up into the ring. The gentleman is wearing a black and red jogging suit with tennis shoes. Dante nods with an impressed look and a bit of a smile.
Dante: "What the hell. Go for it!"
The old man clears his throat.
Old Man: ...Sal Bandini! Wanna wrestle??
Dante's smile is immediately wiped off his face as he gets wide-eyed and stands up.
Dante: "Oh, hell no!"
Dante grabs his chair and folds it up and wastes no time in rolling into the ring with it in hand. Dante stands up and rears the wooden chair back before slamming it full on into Sal's bony back. Sal falls to the canvas face first and doesn't move. Dante rears the chair back once again and brings it down hard, again, over Sal's back. The wooden chair shatters into pieces as Sal remains motionless. Dante does not let up on Sal as he immediately places Sal into a Bow-and-Arrow Lock. Some in the crowd are shocked while others think this an elaborate work. Dante holds the lock on Sal until he hears cartilage snap. After this, Dante lets the hold go and gets to one knee over Sal's motionless and broken body.
Dante: "Perfect."
Dante stands back up to his feet as he instructs two in the crowd to help carry Sal off. Once done, Dante gives a sigh of relief and returns to another chair in the front row.
Dante: "...Who is next?"
No one in the crowd readily moves...
Dante: "Well? Come on!"
Finally someone is heard shuffling through the crowd and coming to the ring. The footsteps are meek..because they belong to a female. Roughly twenty-four in age, this female that is making her way to the ring is nice and slender with just the right amount of meat on her in all the right places. Although she is wearing an ankle length dress with black boots, her figure is quite apparent. Her hind end is firm but grab-able, and her arms are fit but not too toned. She has black hair that flows silky smooth past her shoulders and her face is flawlessly stunning to behold. The altogether stunning female gingerly gets into the ring as Dante gives her a bit of a skeptical eye. The female stands in the middle of the ring with her arms crossed in front of her.
Dante: "And what is your name, angel?"
The female speaks as gingerly as she moves.
Female: A-Ashley.
Dante: "Well, it's a pleasure to meet you, Ashley. Do you have a last name?"
Ashley: Jen-Jenkins.
Dante: "A lovely name, Ashley Jenkins."
Ashley: Thank you.
Dante: "...But, sweetheart, are you sure you are in the right place?"
There is a bit of silence from Ashley before she suddenly rips off her dress to reveal a black leather string bikini top holding up her full D-cup breasts beneath a fishnet mesh top and matching leather shorts that show off her amazing legs covered, as well, in fishnet stockings. Her boots are now seen to be black combat boots...Dante eyes her up and down and looks rather surprised with Ashley.
Dante: "You can boob me to death any time you wish, my dear."
Dante motions for Ashley to exit the ring. She does so and walks over to Dante, who slips her a piece of paper with his number on it.
Dante: "Save this. You and I will be in contact sooner than you think. You are both needed and very much wanted, my dear."
Dante offers her the seat next to him and she takes the seat with a warm smile on her face.
Dante: "Well. You were the last one, Ashley."
Dante takes his seat next to Ashley.
Dante: "Although I did not find what I sought...I sure didn't come away empty-handed."
Dante lightly nudges Ashley with his elbow as they share a chuckle. Afterward, Dante glances over at Sir David who is dead asleep in his chair, still wrapped in a Slinky. Dante then sighs and a hopeless look returns to his face. With another sigh, Dante takes out his cellphone and dials up a number. Dante is sent straight to voicemail as he leaves a short message.
Dante: "Vacation's over."
The hopeless looks remains on Dante's face as he puts his arm around Ashley and continues to glance down at the sleeping Sir David. The scene slowly fades out as we focus on Sir David.
"These are unusual times, strange even. Strange is even putting it lightly. I mean, does anybody besides The Devil Himself see just how insane this really is?? The gentlemen upstairs have straight lost their marbles and now the glorious legacy of The Pac that I have spent many painstaking years building hangs by a thread held by none other than P.C.W.'s resident retard...Sir David."
The scene immediately opens up with a simple shot of Sir David the Midget gnawing on a size five shoe. The shot cuts over to The Devil Himself Dante Daevain where we see just his face with a very intense stare...virtually emotionless but emanating vast amounts of hatred.
Dante: "You malevolent menace."
The shot cuts back over to Sir David who is paying Dante no mind as he has the entire toe of the shoe stuffed into his mouth. Cut back over to Dante who continues to stare down Sir David the Midget.
Dante: "I shall stuff you inside of a pinata..."
The scene widens to where we now see a bit more of the surroundings. Dante and Sir David are inside of a warehouse break-room. The break-room has three windows on each side, one set looking into the storage area filled with boxes and the other set looking out at the production and work floor.
The break-room is a simple room built of cinder block and dry wall. At the far end of the break-room sits a Coke machine. Dante and Sir David are both sitting in the middle of the room in a pair of steel chairs and surrounded by tables facing one another. Dante is sipping on a Barq's Root Beer. As we look back out onto the work floor we see a plethora of machinery pumping out mass media in the form of a newspaper. After a moment of watching the machinery in action we now see a rather heavy-set man walking towards the break-room. Once there the man peeks inside as Dante takes a swig of root beer.
Paul: Uhm..Mr. Da-Da-oh-vain...
Dante is staring intently at Sir David who now has a Q-tip stuffed up his nose.
Dante: "Dante."
Paul: Oh...Uhm, Mr. Dante...
Dante: "Dante. No Mister. Just Dante."
Dante sips his root beer while continuing to stare down Sir David.
Paul: Dante...we ran the print that you requested. It is in the machine now and should run in this afternoon's issue.
Dante: "Excellent. This plan was so simple that it cannot fail...Newspaper, Craigslist, radio spots, bulletin boards...foolproof, I say!"
Dante offers a death glare towards Sir David.
Dante: "...Do you hear me, you tiny tea-bagging terror?!? You will NOT get in that ring!"
Our scene immediately begins to fade into another scene. This scene is a bit different than the last. Instead of a manufacturing warehouse we are now in an abandoned warehouse with semi-decent lighting. The floor is a bit dusty and there are a few rows of old-timey wooden folding chairs set up just outside of a functional wrestling ring. In these chairs are situated a vast variety of people...some old, some young, some male, and some female.
In the front row, center, are two all familiar faces...The Devil Himself Dante Daevain and Sir David the Midget. Dante is sipping on a strong cup of coffee with a clipboard in hand whilst Sir David is highly content with his juice box and the Slinky he has tangled about himself. Dante has a look of terrible inconvenience on his face as he sets his coffee down and speaks to the crowd gathered.
Dante: "Alright...Mat Boyd...You are next!"
A man standing about six foot, three inches gets up from his seat and begins to make his way to the ring. The man has a stubbly shaved head with a chin goatee and is wearing a tan Dickies jump-suit. The man enters the ring and paces back and forth.
Dante: "Show me what you've got, Mat. Cut me a promo. About me."
Mat continues to pace the ring as he begins to speak.
Mat: Well, Dante, for your information let's just say that you aren't going to make it to Slamboree in one piece...maybe two or three...but not one. The way I see it, you and I have unfinished business...not the shake hands, kiss and make-up, everything is hunky-dory kind of business..No..The somebody owes you an ass kicking kind of business. Unfortunately for you business will be thriving come Slamboree...
Mat ends his promo as Dante looks to be impressed.
Dante: "Solid, Mat. Now show me your ring skills."
A ring partner of sufficient skill is provided to Mat. Mat wastes no time in diving head first into the fray, literally...Mat trips over his own feet and face plants into the canvas. Mat gets up to his feet and springs forward to try and get a wrist-lock going, but he cannot seem to lock it in. Mat then spins his partner around and goes for a clothesline, but it is ducked, and as a result Mat spins completely around. Disoriented, Mat's partner connects with a well formed dropkick. Mat's bump, however, was not well formed as he lands mostly on his neck. Mat is writhing in pain as his partner grabs his wrist to help him up...and Mat simply taps out. Dante calls out...
Dante: "I believe Mat has had enough!"
Mat is still whimpering as he rolls out of the ring and walks off to a corner to regain his composure. Dante mutters to himself as he jots down notes.
Dante: "Such a waste. Helpless. Why??"
Dante sighs heavily as he goes back over the forms of thirty-one other failures. With a heavy-hearted look on his face, Dante calls the next tryout.
Dante: "...Curt Smith, you're up!"
A man from the third row stands up and comes to the ring. This man is wearing a full on cowboy ensemble, stirrups and all. Dante takes an interest in such a dressed individual as Curt enters the ring and stands in the middle.
Dante: "Okay, Curt. Showtime!"
There is momentary silence from Curt as he places his hands on his over-sized belt buckle. Suddenly...
Curt: Ooook-lahoma, where the wind comes sweepin' down the plain...And the wavin' wheat can sure smell sweet, When the wind comes right behind the rain.
Dante throws his clipboard in the air and slumps down into his chair...
Curt: OOOOk-lahoma, Ev'ry night my honey lamb and I, Sit alone and talk and watch a hawk makin' lazy circles in the sky.
Dante facepalms himself as Curt begins to do a choreographed dance in the ring. Dante pick up his clipboard and crumples up Curt's paper before yelling out...
Dante: "ENOUGH!! No more!!!"
Curt stops singing and dancing...
Curt: Wha-what?
Dante sighs in a depressing tone...
Curt: Did I? Did I get the part?
Dante stares blankly and menacingly at Curt...
Curt: Wa-Wasn't this the auditions for Oklahoma?
Dante continues to just stare at Curt before simply pointing to the exit door. Curt makes a hasty exit as Dante pops a few Advil with some coffee. Dante doesn't bother looking at the next sheet, only hesitantly calling out...
Dante: "Next!"
A rather aged man begins to come to the ring. Dante was about to stand and assist the man but was waved off. Dante shrugs as the gentleman climbs up into the ring. The gentleman is wearing a black and red jogging suit with tennis shoes. Dante nods with an impressed look and a bit of a smile.
Dante: "What the hell. Go for it!"
The old man clears his throat.
Old Man: ...Sal Bandini! Wanna wrestle??
Dante's smile is immediately wiped off his face as he gets wide-eyed and stands up.
Dante: "Oh, hell no!"
Dante grabs his chair and folds it up and wastes no time in rolling into the ring with it in hand. Dante stands up and rears the wooden chair back before slamming it full on into Sal's bony back. Sal falls to the canvas face first and doesn't move. Dante rears the chair back once again and brings it down hard, again, over Sal's back. The wooden chair shatters into pieces as Sal remains motionless. Dante does not let up on Sal as he immediately places Sal into a Bow-and-Arrow Lock. Some in the crowd are shocked while others think this an elaborate work. Dante holds the lock on Sal until he hears cartilage snap. After this, Dante lets the hold go and gets to one knee over Sal's motionless and broken body.
Dante: "Perfect."
Dante stands back up to his feet as he instructs two in the crowd to help carry Sal off. Once done, Dante gives a sigh of relief and returns to another chair in the front row.
Dante: "...Who is next?"
No one in the crowd readily moves...
Dante: "Well? Come on!"
Finally someone is heard shuffling through the crowd and coming to the ring. The footsteps are meek..because they belong to a female. Roughly twenty-four in age, this female that is making her way to the ring is nice and slender with just the right amount of meat on her in all the right places. Although she is wearing an ankle length dress with black boots, her figure is quite apparent. Her hind end is firm but grab-able, and her arms are fit but not too toned. She has black hair that flows silky smooth past her shoulders and her face is flawlessly stunning to behold. The altogether stunning female gingerly gets into the ring as Dante gives her a bit of a skeptical eye. The female stands in the middle of the ring with her arms crossed in front of her.
Dante: "And what is your name, angel?"
The female speaks as gingerly as she moves.
Female: A-Ashley.
Dante: "Well, it's a pleasure to meet you, Ashley. Do you have a last name?"
Ashley: Jen-Jenkins.
Dante: "A lovely name, Ashley Jenkins."
Ashley: Thank you.
Dante: "...But, sweetheart, are you sure you are in the right place?"
There is a bit of silence from Ashley before she suddenly rips off her dress to reveal a black leather string bikini top holding up her full D-cup breasts beneath a fishnet mesh top and matching leather shorts that show off her amazing legs covered, as well, in fishnet stockings. Her boots are now seen to be black combat boots...Dante eyes her up and down and looks rather surprised with Ashley.
Dante: "You can boob me to death any time you wish, my dear."
Dante motions for Ashley to exit the ring. She does so and walks over to Dante, who slips her a piece of paper with his number on it.
Dante: "Save this. You and I will be in contact sooner than you think. You are both needed and very much wanted, my dear."
Dante offers her the seat next to him and she takes the seat with a warm smile on her face.
Dante: "Well. You were the last one, Ashley."
Dante takes his seat next to Ashley.
Dante: "Although I did not find what I sought...I sure didn't come away empty-handed."
Dante lightly nudges Ashley with his elbow as they share a chuckle. Afterward, Dante glances over at Sir David who is dead asleep in his chair, still wrapped in a Slinky. Dante then sighs and a hopeless look returns to his face. With another sigh, Dante takes out his cellphone and dials up a number. Dante is sent straight to voicemail as he leaves a short message.
Dante: "Vacation's over."
The hopeless looks remains on Dante's face as he puts his arm around Ashley and continues to glance down at the sleeping Sir David. The scene slowly fades out as we focus on Sir David.