Post by cyborg878 on Feb 11, 2013 19:44:09 GMT -5
"A brave man is a man who dares to look the Devil in the face and tell him he is a Devil." - James A. Garfield
Ladies, gentlemen, and any beings in between, I have returned, your triumphant hero! Liam and I told you all that the Dawn of a New Age would not even be a temporary roadblock in our path of dominance and change in PCW. That was merely the first step towards our inevitable glory. It seems that in two weeks we must conquer the next step.
PCW, I am a strong and proud atheist, but it seems I must face a real devil at Wrestle Extravanganza. Dante and a mystery partner are the second team James Baker has thrown infront of Liam and I in order to halt the progress of The New Era. Fear not though, we shall not fall victim to the embodiment of evil, I will make sure I am prepared.
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[San Diego, Calfornia. Sunday, February 3, 2013. 8 a.m.]
The scene opens up in the home of Damon and Nathan Warrens. The royal blue walls of the master bedroom are seen accented by a beautiful bright gold. In the king sized bed. Under the blue comforter of this bed lay two men, one blonde, one raven. Their names of course Nathan and Damon respectively. Both seem fast asleep until Damon turns over, his eyes opening and his gaze falling on the alarm clock which reads 8:00 am. He does a double-take before throwing the covers off of himself, and jumping out of bed in a speedy fashion. His actions wake up his husband.
Nathan rubs his eyes and looks at Damon curiously.
Nathan: What time is it, and why are you up?
Damon: Eight in the morning and I'm go-
Nathan sits up immediately.
Nathan: EIGHT IN THE MORNING!!! WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU UP AT EIGHT ON A SUNDAY MORNING!!
Damon looks at his husband and laughs a bit. When he gets a full sleep Nathan is one of the sweetest people on the planet. When he doesn't get his sleep however, Nathan is quite a dangerous and nasty creature.
Damon: Honey, I need to be up this early. I'm already late for Church!
Nathan's face all of a sudden looks blank from shock. Damon doesn't notice as he pulls on a pair of Calvin Klein black dress pants. He then grabs a purple short sleeve CK dress shirt which he puts on, the whole time the room is silent as Nathan still sits speechless. Finally as Damon goes to the bathroom to brush and floss his teeth Nathan manages to string a few words together.
Nathan: ....Church. You're up at eight in the morning... to go... to church. YOU'RE AN ATHIEST!!
Damon chuckles a bit at Nathan. He spits out the toothpaste and rinses, before turning to Nathan.
Damon: Darling, it's for research. For my match at Wrestle Extravaganza.
Nathan: What? That doesn't even make sense!
Damon: I promise you hun, there is a method to my madness. Now go back to sleep. I will see you later today! Love you!
Damon hurries out of the room as Nathan mumbles "Love you" back before promptly falling back onto his pillows and closing his eyes. Damon rushes down the stairs and quickly puts his shoes on. He grabs the keys to his favourite motorcycle. He heads into the garage, a rather large room with numerous vehicles. Damon spots his red and black custom motorcycle and walks over, swining his leg over the bike and starting it. The engine revs and Damon presses the button on the remote control for the garage door. Once the door is open far enough Damon speeds out out his home and down the winding driveway, exiting onto the main road through the front gates. He drives around San Deigo for approximately six minutes, not having to deal with the traffic due to how early it was on a Sunday, before pulling into the parking lot of Saint Augestine's, the church near the Warrens' residence.
Damon looks at the building briefly before slowly walking up to the front door. He opens the door to find the building full with church go-ers. It seems the pastor is in the middle of a sermon on the power of sin and the Devil. Damon walks up and sits on a bench near the front, several people moving over to make room for him.
Pastor: The Devil is a powerful being of pure evil! He is the embodiment of sin and temptation! Never give into to his temptation or you will be his forever!
Damon listens as the pastor preaches about the evil of the Devil. He decides that this is the perfect time to start his research. Damon stands up and raises his hand to get the pastor's attention.
Pastor: Sir may I ask that you sit down so I may finish the sermon?
Damon: Mr. Pastor Sir, I promise you that my questions are of great importance and urgency.
Pastor: You may call me Father Julian. I guess you may ask your questions, if they are truly that urgent and important.
Damon: Thank you father. My first question. You mentioned about how the devil is powerful, the embodiment of sin and such. Is the Devil also a professional wrestler?
Father Julian looks at Damon as if he's insane.
Father Julian: A professional wrestler?! The Devil is not a professional wrestler!
Damon: See, that's what I thought too! Okay, my next question. If I had to say... battle the Devil. How would you suggest that I go about defeating him? Is there any suggested Devil fighting methods?
Father Julian pauses to decide how to approach this question.
Father Julian: There are six things you need to fight the Devil.
Damon: Okay, just a moment, need to get a pen and paper here.
Damon takes out a notepad and a pen as Father Julian shakes his head in annoyance. Damon writes at the top "Fighting the Devil". Below it he starts to take notes as the pastor speaks.
Father Julian: The first thing you need to fight the Devil is God's word.
Damon: God's word? And which word is that? Is the bird the word?
Father Julian's face begins to turn the slightest bit of red, but he calms himself down.
Father Julian: No, God's Word as in the Holy Scripture.
Damon: Oh! The Bible!?
Father Julian: Yes, the Bible.
Damon: So... do I hit him with the Bible?
Father Julian puts one hand to his forehead in disbelief and shakes his head in answer to Damon's inquiry. Damon knows very well he is annoying the pastor, but he must proceed for his research!
Damon: Okay, nevermind. What is the next thing I need?
Father Julian: Sanity, but I'm not certain you own that.
Damon: Ahh you know me well already. My sanity and I parted ways.
Father Julian: You also need certainty, to protect you from the Devil's fiery arrows of doubt, discouragement, and delay.
Damon: Well I'm pretty certain I can defeat him, got that! Next?
Father Julian: Next you need serenity, peace.
Damon: Okay... not really a peaceful person...so scratch that one.
Father Julian: You must be pure and ri-
Damon: Let me cut you off there bud. I'm not really into purity.
Father Julian: Finally you must have integrity. You must be truthful!
Damon: Oh awesome! I'm full of truth!
Father Julian: Wonderful for you...
Damon: Now all that stuff aside. Is there anything I can use against him like,.. I don't know, a cross, holy water... cause I was told I might be able to, but I'm pretty doubtful about it.
Father Julian laughs a bit inwardly, and raises his head.
Father Julian: Yes, Holy water works wonderfully against the Devil. Now I'm sorry, but no more questions, it's time for the Holy Communion.
At this statement everyone rises from their seats and forms a line. Damon looks around and awkwardly follows suit, not really understanding the church schedule. The line progresses slowly as people partake in the "Body of Christ" and "Blood of Christ". Damon still looks a bit like a lost puppy when he gets the the front. Upon seeing Damon the smile fades from Father Julian's face. The pastor forces a fake smile onto his face as Damon steps up to whom he assumes is one of Father Julian's assistants. This 'assistant' offers Damon a rice wafer.
Assistant 1: Body of Christ.
Damon: No thank you. Cannibalism is frowned upon in many countries including this one.
The assistant looks baffled as Damon moves onto the next assistant who holds a goblet filled with wine to represent the Blood of Christ. The assistant offers the goblet to Damon.
Assistant 2: Blood of Christ.
Damon: What? Are you kidding me? I thought I was sick, are you all some sort of vampires? Buddy, this isn't Twilight!
The assistant cracks a smile as Damon's stupidity. He calms himself, preventing a fit of laughter, before explaining to Damon what the Blood of Christ really is.
Assistant 2: Sir, this is not actual blood. It is wine.
Damon looked at the goblet with disgust.
Damon: Jebus! I think I'd rather drink the blood!
The assistant tilts his head slightly in confusion.
Damon: My husband and I have been straight edge for life.
At the mention of husband the assistants, the church go-ers and Father Julian all recoil in fear. Immediately the church go-ers begin whispering about Damon. The assistant drops the goblet of wine, which spills all over the wooden floor of the church. Father Julian grabs a small bottle of Holy water. He takes the cork out of the top and splashes the water onto Damon's face.
Father Julian: Devil! You disgusting sinner! Get out of my church, you will try corrupt us all!
Damon starts screaming in pain and clutching at his face, terrifying everyone in the church. He then stops his screams and begins laughing loudly.
Damon: I told you the whole Holy Water thing might not work... guess I was right!
Damon's face loses all expression. He grabs Father Julian by the collar and brings him face to face. Damon looks into the eyes of the pastor with a glare that could kill. He smirks wickedly before planting a kiss on the horrified man. Father Julian faints from shock and Damon lets go of his collar, dropping the man on the floor. Several women shriek as church go-ers and assistants rush to the pastors aid, shouting hysterically at Damon whom walks towards the door, exitting the church, a smile still visible the whole time.
Damon: What a lovely day it is today. I'm glad they all enjoyed my company. Not everyone truly appreciates some well planned chaos like they used to.
Damon steps outside as the chaos continues within the church. He hops back on his bike and heads home. Damon drives through the gates and up the hill. He parks in his garage and walks inside. Inside he sees Nathan, who seems to be in a better mood after getting more sleep. Damon walks up behind his husband and embraces him from behind.
Damon: Honey, I'm home.
Nathan: I can tell you dork! How was church?
Damon: Well I learned a fair bit. And of course the church go-ers adored me.
Nathan smirks and shakes his head. He can only imagine the trouble Damon must have caused.
Nathan: I bet they did. So did you get enough research done?
Damon: Yes, but I still have much more research to conduct. You know I like to be prepared thoroughly. Have to go out again this week for more research. But for the rest of today, let's have a relaxing day.
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[San Diego, California. Friday, February 8, 2013. 2:07 p.m.]
Damon Warrens is walking through downtown San Diego. He passes numerous stores, not paying particular attention to any person, any store, anything. All that is on Damon's mind is his match at Wrestle Extravanganza. He knows he still has to prepare more, but is unable to decide how to prepare for an unknown element. Suddenly his phone rings, Hybrid Stigmata cutting through the noise of the city. Damon answers the phone.
Damon: Greetings Immanuel!
Immanuel: Hello Damon, How is one half of the most impressive team in wrestling?
Damon: I must say I'm a tad stressed.
Immanuel: Stressed? Why?
Damon: You know that I like being able to strategise for my matches. I like having a game plan layed out, a method of deconstructing my opponents. I prefer winning a match before it has even started. However that seems to be impossible for Wrestle Extravaganza. James Baker puposefully did not book who Dante's partner would be just so Dante would have an advantage over Liam and I! This is a conspiracy! Favouritism damnit!
Immanuel: Damon try to calm down. Don't let anger blind you. Yes, I know Mr. Baker did this to put Order and Chaos at a disadvantage, but I have good news!
Damon: Good news? Well colour me intrigued.
Immanuel: I have found out from an inside source that Dante may have found his partner.
Damon: Oh please tell!
Immanuel: Now, I am not kidding, but my informant said it is either some woman named Ashley, or.. and this is the not kidding part, Sir David the Retarded Barbed-Wire Wrapped Midget with a Taco....
There is silence on Damon's end for several seconds.
Damon: ...Did you actually just say that?
Immanuel: I know, as insane as it might sound Dante has tossed around the idea of choosing a "retarded midget" as his partner.
Damon: So would that make this a handicapped match? Since it would be two against one and a half?
Immanuel: I appreciate your humour as always, but remember, even with a pint sized imbosile Dante is a potential threat.
Damon: I know Immanuel, but I did my research to prepare for him anyways. Thank you for that information Immanuel. Now to find out how to prepare further.
Damon looks around, searching for answers when he spots a midget across the street.
Damon: Immanuel, I found my answer. Thanks again, see you at Wrestle Extravaganza!
Immanuel: Any time Damon. Good-bye!
Damon looks around and runs across the street. He goes right up to the little person, tapping him on the shoulder.
Damon: Excuse me? Little fellow, how would you like to make one thousand dollars?
Midget: Umm sure, what am I supposed to do?
Damon: I need you to get on that motorcycle with me across the street, and come with my to my gym!
Midget: Sure I guess.
Damon picks up the midget and runs across the street. He sets the little person down on the bike and Damon gets on and drives off towards the Badd Dreams Wrestling Academy.
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[San Diego, California. Friday, February 8, 2013. 2:34 p.m.]
The scene opens up in the Badd Dreams Wrestling Academy. Damon stands in the ring in his ring gear. He awaits his opponent. Soon enough his foe walks out of the dressing rooms. He is approximately a menacing three feet tall, dressed in a blue gorilla suit. He walks towards the ring.
Damon: Now sir, I don't care what you're real name is. For the full effect I'll be calling you David. So David, I hope the cotume fits, it's a toddlers large....
'David' nods. He walks to the steps and ascends to the ring apron, stepping over the bottom rope.
'David': Okay, so what am I supposed to do?
Damon: You're going to wrestle me. I need to practice wrestling little people.
'David' looks frightened, but it's hard to tell under the gorilla mask. Damon motions for a staff member to ring the bell, and the match starts. Damon stalks towards 'David' who tries to escape the ring. Damon grabs 'David's arm and pulls him back. Damon lifts the dwarf up and tosses him across the ring. Damon puts his arm out in a crucifix pose before hitting a running low dropkick to the small gorilla, sending him out of the ring to the floor. Damon slides under the ropes. He grabs 'David' and tosses him over the top rope, back into the squared circle. Damon climbs onto the apron. He jumps and springboards off the top rope, hitting a springboard elbowdrop to the chest of 'David'.
Damon: Now how the hell would I finish this? I can't use the Broken Record or the Nitemare on Your Street, he's too tiny. The same goes for Enter Sandman and the Badd Dream. I could hit the Stage Dive, but he's too small of a target.
Suddenly Damon get's an idea. He grabs 'David' and lifts him into a piledriver position. He hooks a leg and drops down with a cradle piledriver. Damon rolls 'David' over and pins him with one hand. He slaps the mat three times before standing up and holding hiis arms out again, in celebration.
Damon: Someone call an ambulence for my friend here. I already gave him the money, so don't worry about that.
Damon looks down at the unconcious midget with a sick smirk.
Damon: I think I'm ready.
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PCW Universe I promised you success. I promised you the domination of the inferior specimens known as DNA. And that is exactly what you received. I am a man of my word. See unlike the rest of the world, when I say I will do something, I deliver! I never disappoint.
Also unlike the rest of the world I tell no lie, for I am a man of truth. I need not be dishonest with you all. You already get that from the most of the roster in PCW. For instance, in August Nightrain told you all he would end the career of the "Real Nitemare", yet here I stand, with three victories since the beginning of the Revival Era. Undefeated since PCW's rebirth. Remi and Logan rpomised that they would dominate Lian Reilly and I, yet we made those two look like jobbers. Jay Thunder declared that he will decimate Smith Jones at Wrestle Extravanganza. We will soon see that statement proven wrong as well. See this whole roster is filled to the brim with disgusting liars! This is why Liam and I are so adamant about bringing you the truth!
So here's a little truth for you. Order and Chaos cannot be stopped by anyone. Not even "The Devil Himself". It seems this week James Baker has tried to put another road block in front of us. Did he not learn from the last Rapture? Remi and Logan were almost tag team champions once. They had the size advantage. We decimated them in a matter of minutes. Now at St. Valentine's Massacre we have been given the task of disposing of Dante Daevain and a "partner of his choosing". See James thinks that because we don't know who Dante's partner is, that we cannot be prepared for the match. James thinks that he has caught us off guard. For some unfathomable reason James Baker believes he has outwitted us. Here is another promise ladies and gentlemen. He hasn't. Order and Chaos consists of two of the greatest minds in this business, managed by the most intelligent manager to enter a federation. This is a game of chess you cannot win.
For you James Baker, you are in zugzwang. What you don't know what zugzwang is? My apologies. It is a chess term. It is used to describe the situation when one play finds themself unable to move without harming their position. They must decide whether to admit defeat or play through until theiir demise. Now James, I know you, which is why even though I offer you the opportunity to admit defeat, I know you won't take it. Since you won't, I will enjoy watching you play to your end. Every move you make is detrimental to your game James. You will see that at St. Valentine's Massacre. "And you can bank on that statement."
Now Dante, I must offer my sincerest apologies for James Baker has forced you into the path of an indestructible, unstoppable force. Order and Chaos must dispose of you and your partner in order to take the next step in our revolution, and I am very sorry we must do so. You are a promising young talent, a former PCW Tag Team Champion, albeit a very short lived one. You will prove to be a formidable foe, that's for certain. However the same can not be said of your mystery partner. Now rumour has it that you may choose your pint sized friend David. Part of me hopes you really do pick David, as I recently discovered that I enjoy tossing dwarves around the ring. And if you do select David to join you in combat, I promise that I shall not dropkick Dopey, or whichever dwarf he is, back to the enchanted forest from whence he came. However, if you select David you are putting yourself at a disadvantage, for you would be making this a handicapped match. Two on one and a half is never fair, and Liam and I care greatly about being fair.
In the interest in fairness, I suggest you select a more appropriate partner, perhaps the female that Immanuel Paine informed me of. An unknown female must be able to do better in the ring than a miniscule moron, right? At least then it would not be a handicapped match, but regardless she puts you at a disadvantage. You have no experience teaming with this girl, nor do you with David. Liam and I have been training as a team, and fighting as a team for several months already, you have several days to develop team chemistry. Good luck.
In the end you are in zugzwang like Mr. Baker. No matter whom you choose as a partner, whether it be your former partner from the Pac, an unknown female, a dwarf, unicorn, pixie, the end result will be the same. Order and Chaos will stand tall, our hands raised in victory, as a chorus of confused Americans boo their saviours' triumph. I'm sorry Dante, but not even "The Devil Himself" can get out of zugzwang. So will you admit defeat? Or will you play through to your demise. I guess we shall see at Wrestle Extravaganza.
The New Era is coming, and we promise Wrestle Extravangaza: St. Valentine's Massacre, will be a night the world will not forget.
"Life is paiN." - 'Nitemare'Rob Osbourne Damon Warrens
Ladies, gentlemen, and any beings in between, I have returned, your triumphant hero! Liam and I told you all that the Dawn of a New Age would not even be a temporary roadblock in our path of dominance and change in PCW. That was merely the first step towards our inevitable glory. It seems that in two weeks we must conquer the next step.
PCW, I am a strong and proud atheist, but it seems I must face a real devil at Wrestle Extravanganza. Dante and a mystery partner are the second team James Baker has thrown infront of Liam and I in order to halt the progress of The New Era. Fear not though, we shall not fall victim to the embodiment of evil, I will make sure I am prepared.
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[San Diego, Calfornia. Sunday, February 3, 2013. 8 a.m.]
The scene opens up in the home of Damon and Nathan Warrens. The royal blue walls of the master bedroom are seen accented by a beautiful bright gold. In the king sized bed. Under the blue comforter of this bed lay two men, one blonde, one raven. Their names of course Nathan and Damon respectively. Both seem fast asleep until Damon turns over, his eyes opening and his gaze falling on the alarm clock which reads 8:00 am. He does a double-take before throwing the covers off of himself, and jumping out of bed in a speedy fashion. His actions wake up his husband.
Nathan rubs his eyes and looks at Damon curiously.
Nathan: What time is it, and why are you up?
Damon: Eight in the morning and I'm go-
Nathan sits up immediately.
Nathan: EIGHT IN THE MORNING!!! WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU UP AT EIGHT ON A SUNDAY MORNING!!
Damon looks at his husband and laughs a bit. When he gets a full sleep Nathan is one of the sweetest people on the planet. When he doesn't get his sleep however, Nathan is quite a dangerous and nasty creature.
Damon: Honey, I need to be up this early. I'm already late for Church!
Nathan's face all of a sudden looks blank from shock. Damon doesn't notice as he pulls on a pair of Calvin Klein black dress pants. He then grabs a purple short sleeve CK dress shirt which he puts on, the whole time the room is silent as Nathan still sits speechless. Finally as Damon goes to the bathroom to brush and floss his teeth Nathan manages to string a few words together.
Nathan: ....Church. You're up at eight in the morning... to go... to church. YOU'RE AN ATHIEST!!
Damon chuckles a bit at Nathan. He spits out the toothpaste and rinses, before turning to Nathan.
Damon: Darling, it's for research. For my match at Wrestle Extravaganza.
Nathan: What? That doesn't even make sense!
Damon: I promise you hun, there is a method to my madness. Now go back to sleep. I will see you later today! Love you!
Damon hurries out of the room as Nathan mumbles "Love you" back before promptly falling back onto his pillows and closing his eyes. Damon rushes down the stairs and quickly puts his shoes on. He grabs the keys to his favourite motorcycle. He heads into the garage, a rather large room with numerous vehicles. Damon spots his red and black custom motorcycle and walks over, swining his leg over the bike and starting it. The engine revs and Damon presses the button on the remote control for the garage door. Once the door is open far enough Damon speeds out out his home and down the winding driveway, exiting onto the main road through the front gates. He drives around San Deigo for approximately six minutes, not having to deal with the traffic due to how early it was on a Sunday, before pulling into the parking lot of Saint Augestine's, the church near the Warrens' residence.
Damon looks at the building briefly before slowly walking up to the front door. He opens the door to find the building full with church go-ers. It seems the pastor is in the middle of a sermon on the power of sin and the Devil. Damon walks up and sits on a bench near the front, several people moving over to make room for him.
Pastor: The Devil is a powerful being of pure evil! He is the embodiment of sin and temptation! Never give into to his temptation or you will be his forever!
Damon listens as the pastor preaches about the evil of the Devil. He decides that this is the perfect time to start his research. Damon stands up and raises his hand to get the pastor's attention.
Pastor: Sir may I ask that you sit down so I may finish the sermon?
Damon: Mr. Pastor Sir, I promise you that my questions are of great importance and urgency.
Pastor: You may call me Father Julian. I guess you may ask your questions, if they are truly that urgent and important.
Damon: Thank you father. My first question. You mentioned about how the devil is powerful, the embodiment of sin and such. Is the Devil also a professional wrestler?
Father Julian looks at Damon as if he's insane.
Father Julian: A professional wrestler?! The Devil is not a professional wrestler!
Damon: See, that's what I thought too! Okay, my next question. If I had to say... battle the Devil. How would you suggest that I go about defeating him? Is there any suggested Devil fighting methods?
Father Julian pauses to decide how to approach this question.
Father Julian: There are six things you need to fight the Devil.
Damon: Okay, just a moment, need to get a pen and paper here.
Damon takes out a notepad and a pen as Father Julian shakes his head in annoyance. Damon writes at the top "Fighting the Devil". Below it he starts to take notes as the pastor speaks.
Father Julian: The first thing you need to fight the Devil is God's word.
Damon: God's word? And which word is that? Is the bird the word?
Father Julian's face begins to turn the slightest bit of red, but he calms himself down.
Father Julian: No, God's Word as in the Holy Scripture.
Damon: Oh! The Bible!?
Father Julian: Yes, the Bible.
Damon: So... do I hit him with the Bible?
Father Julian puts one hand to his forehead in disbelief and shakes his head in answer to Damon's inquiry. Damon knows very well he is annoying the pastor, but he must proceed for his research!
Damon: Okay, nevermind. What is the next thing I need?
Father Julian: Sanity, but I'm not certain you own that.
Damon: Ahh you know me well already. My sanity and I parted ways.
Father Julian: You also need certainty, to protect you from the Devil's fiery arrows of doubt, discouragement, and delay.
Damon: Well I'm pretty certain I can defeat him, got that! Next?
Father Julian: Next you need serenity, peace.
Damon: Okay... not really a peaceful person...so scratch that one.
Father Julian: You must be pure and ri-
Damon: Let me cut you off there bud. I'm not really into purity.
Father Julian: Finally you must have integrity. You must be truthful!
Damon: Oh awesome! I'm full of truth!
Father Julian: Wonderful for you...
Damon: Now all that stuff aside. Is there anything I can use against him like,.. I don't know, a cross, holy water... cause I was told I might be able to, but I'm pretty doubtful about it.
Father Julian laughs a bit inwardly, and raises his head.
Father Julian: Yes, Holy water works wonderfully against the Devil. Now I'm sorry, but no more questions, it's time for the Holy Communion.
At this statement everyone rises from their seats and forms a line. Damon looks around and awkwardly follows suit, not really understanding the church schedule. The line progresses slowly as people partake in the "Body of Christ" and "Blood of Christ". Damon still looks a bit like a lost puppy when he gets the the front. Upon seeing Damon the smile fades from Father Julian's face. The pastor forces a fake smile onto his face as Damon steps up to whom he assumes is one of Father Julian's assistants. This 'assistant' offers Damon a rice wafer.
Assistant 1: Body of Christ.
Damon: No thank you. Cannibalism is frowned upon in many countries including this one.
The assistant looks baffled as Damon moves onto the next assistant who holds a goblet filled with wine to represent the Blood of Christ. The assistant offers the goblet to Damon.
Assistant 2: Blood of Christ.
Damon: What? Are you kidding me? I thought I was sick, are you all some sort of vampires? Buddy, this isn't Twilight!
The assistant cracks a smile as Damon's stupidity. He calms himself, preventing a fit of laughter, before explaining to Damon what the Blood of Christ really is.
Assistant 2: Sir, this is not actual blood. It is wine.
Damon looked at the goblet with disgust.
Damon: Jebus! I think I'd rather drink the blood!
The assistant tilts his head slightly in confusion.
Damon: My husband and I have been straight edge for life.
At the mention of husband the assistants, the church go-ers and Father Julian all recoil in fear. Immediately the church go-ers begin whispering about Damon. The assistant drops the goblet of wine, which spills all over the wooden floor of the church. Father Julian grabs a small bottle of Holy water. He takes the cork out of the top and splashes the water onto Damon's face.
Father Julian: Devil! You disgusting sinner! Get out of my church, you will try corrupt us all!
Damon starts screaming in pain and clutching at his face, terrifying everyone in the church. He then stops his screams and begins laughing loudly.
Damon: I told you the whole Holy Water thing might not work... guess I was right!
Damon's face loses all expression. He grabs Father Julian by the collar and brings him face to face. Damon looks into the eyes of the pastor with a glare that could kill. He smirks wickedly before planting a kiss on the horrified man. Father Julian faints from shock and Damon lets go of his collar, dropping the man on the floor. Several women shriek as church go-ers and assistants rush to the pastors aid, shouting hysterically at Damon whom walks towards the door, exitting the church, a smile still visible the whole time.
Damon: What a lovely day it is today. I'm glad they all enjoyed my company. Not everyone truly appreciates some well planned chaos like they used to.
Damon steps outside as the chaos continues within the church. He hops back on his bike and heads home. Damon drives through the gates and up the hill. He parks in his garage and walks inside. Inside he sees Nathan, who seems to be in a better mood after getting more sleep. Damon walks up behind his husband and embraces him from behind.
Damon: Honey, I'm home.
Nathan: I can tell you dork! How was church?
Damon: Well I learned a fair bit. And of course the church go-ers adored me.
Nathan smirks and shakes his head. He can only imagine the trouble Damon must have caused.
Nathan: I bet they did. So did you get enough research done?
Damon: Yes, but I still have much more research to conduct. You know I like to be prepared thoroughly. Have to go out again this week for more research. But for the rest of today, let's have a relaxing day.
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[San Diego, California. Friday, February 8, 2013. 2:07 p.m.]
Damon Warrens is walking through downtown San Diego. He passes numerous stores, not paying particular attention to any person, any store, anything. All that is on Damon's mind is his match at Wrestle Extravanganza. He knows he still has to prepare more, but is unable to decide how to prepare for an unknown element. Suddenly his phone rings, Hybrid Stigmata cutting through the noise of the city. Damon answers the phone.
Damon: Greetings Immanuel!
Immanuel: Hello Damon, How is one half of the most impressive team in wrestling?
Damon: I must say I'm a tad stressed.
Immanuel: Stressed? Why?
Damon: You know that I like being able to strategise for my matches. I like having a game plan layed out, a method of deconstructing my opponents. I prefer winning a match before it has even started. However that seems to be impossible for Wrestle Extravaganza. James Baker puposefully did not book who Dante's partner would be just so Dante would have an advantage over Liam and I! This is a conspiracy! Favouritism damnit!
Immanuel: Damon try to calm down. Don't let anger blind you. Yes, I know Mr. Baker did this to put Order and Chaos at a disadvantage, but I have good news!
Damon: Good news? Well colour me intrigued.
Immanuel: I have found out from an inside source that Dante may have found his partner.
Damon: Oh please tell!
Immanuel: Now, I am not kidding, but my informant said it is either some woman named Ashley, or.. and this is the not kidding part, Sir David the Retarded Barbed-Wire Wrapped Midget with a Taco....
There is silence on Damon's end for several seconds.
Damon: ...Did you actually just say that?
Immanuel: I know, as insane as it might sound Dante has tossed around the idea of choosing a "retarded midget" as his partner.
Damon: So would that make this a handicapped match? Since it would be two against one and a half?
Immanuel: I appreciate your humour as always, but remember, even with a pint sized imbosile Dante is a potential threat.
Damon: I know Immanuel, but I did my research to prepare for him anyways. Thank you for that information Immanuel. Now to find out how to prepare further.
Damon looks around, searching for answers when he spots a midget across the street.
Damon: Immanuel, I found my answer. Thanks again, see you at Wrestle Extravaganza!
Immanuel: Any time Damon. Good-bye!
Damon looks around and runs across the street. He goes right up to the little person, tapping him on the shoulder.
Damon: Excuse me? Little fellow, how would you like to make one thousand dollars?
Midget: Umm sure, what am I supposed to do?
Damon: I need you to get on that motorcycle with me across the street, and come with my to my gym!
Midget: Sure I guess.
Damon picks up the midget and runs across the street. He sets the little person down on the bike and Damon gets on and drives off towards the Badd Dreams Wrestling Academy.
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[San Diego, California. Friday, February 8, 2013. 2:34 p.m.]
The scene opens up in the Badd Dreams Wrestling Academy. Damon stands in the ring in his ring gear. He awaits his opponent. Soon enough his foe walks out of the dressing rooms. He is approximately a menacing three feet tall, dressed in a blue gorilla suit. He walks towards the ring.
Damon: Now sir, I don't care what you're real name is. For the full effect I'll be calling you David. So David, I hope the cotume fits, it's a toddlers large....
'David' nods. He walks to the steps and ascends to the ring apron, stepping over the bottom rope.
'David': Okay, so what am I supposed to do?
Damon: You're going to wrestle me. I need to practice wrestling little people.
'David' looks frightened, but it's hard to tell under the gorilla mask. Damon motions for a staff member to ring the bell, and the match starts. Damon stalks towards 'David' who tries to escape the ring. Damon grabs 'David's arm and pulls him back. Damon lifts the dwarf up and tosses him across the ring. Damon puts his arm out in a crucifix pose before hitting a running low dropkick to the small gorilla, sending him out of the ring to the floor. Damon slides under the ropes. He grabs 'David' and tosses him over the top rope, back into the squared circle. Damon climbs onto the apron. He jumps and springboards off the top rope, hitting a springboard elbowdrop to the chest of 'David'.
Damon: Now how the hell would I finish this? I can't use the Broken Record or the Nitemare on Your Street, he's too tiny. The same goes for Enter Sandman and the Badd Dream. I could hit the Stage Dive, but he's too small of a target.
Suddenly Damon get's an idea. He grabs 'David' and lifts him into a piledriver position. He hooks a leg and drops down with a cradle piledriver. Damon rolls 'David' over and pins him with one hand. He slaps the mat three times before standing up and holding hiis arms out again, in celebration.
Damon: Someone call an ambulence for my friend here. I already gave him the money, so don't worry about that.
Damon looks down at the unconcious midget with a sick smirk.
Damon: I think I'm ready.
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PCW Universe I promised you success. I promised you the domination of the inferior specimens known as DNA. And that is exactly what you received. I am a man of my word. See unlike the rest of the world, when I say I will do something, I deliver! I never disappoint.
Also unlike the rest of the world I tell no lie, for I am a man of truth. I need not be dishonest with you all. You already get that from the most of the roster in PCW. For instance, in August Nightrain told you all he would end the career of the "Real Nitemare", yet here I stand, with three victories since the beginning of the Revival Era. Undefeated since PCW's rebirth. Remi and Logan rpomised that they would dominate Lian Reilly and I, yet we made those two look like jobbers. Jay Thunder declared that he will decimate Smith Jones at Wrestle Extravanganza. We will soon see that statement proven wrong as well. See this whole roster is filled to the brim with disgusting liars! This is why Liam and I are so adamant about bringing you the truth!
So here's a little truth for you. Order and Chaos cannot be stopped by anyone. Not even "The Devil Himself". It seems this week James Baker has tried to put another road block in front of us. Did he not learn from the last Rapture? Remi and Logan were almost tag team champions once. They had the size advantage. We decimated them in a matter of minutes. Now at St. Valentine's Massacre we have been given the task of disposing of Dante Daevain and a "partner of his choosing". See James thinks that because we don't know who Dante's partner is, that we cannot be prepared for the match. James thinks that he has caught us off guard. For some unfathomable reason James Baker believes he has outwitted us. Here is another promise ladies and gentlemen. He hasn't. Order and Chaos consists of two of the greatest minds in this business, managed by the most intelligent manager to enter a federation. This is a game of chess you cannot win.
For you James Baker, you are in zugzwang. What you don't know what zugzwang is? My apologies. It is a chess term. It is used to describe the situation when one play finds themself unable to move without harming their position. They must decide whether to admit defeat or play through until theiir demise. Now James, I know you, which is why even though I offer you the opportunity to admit defeat, I know you won't take it. Since you won't, I will enjoy watching you play to your end. Every move you make is detrimental to your game James. You will see that at St. Valentine's Massacre. "And you can bank on that statement."
Now Dante, I must offer my sincerest apologies for James Baker has forced you into the path of an indestructible, unstoppable force. Order and Chaos must dispose of you and your partner in order to take the next step in our revolution, and I am very sorry we must do so. You are a promising young talent, a former PCW Tag Team Champion, albeit a very short lived one. You will prove to be a formidable foe, that's for certain. However the same can not be said of your mystery partner. Now rumour has it that you may choose your pint sized friend David. Part of me hopes you really do pick David, as I recently discovered that I enjoy tossing dwarves around the ring. And if you do select David to join you in combat, I promise that I shall not dropkick Dopey, or whichever dwarf he is, back to the enchanted forest from whence he came. However, if you select David you are putting yourself at a disadvantage, for you would be making this a handicapped match. Two on one and a half is never fair, and Liam and I care greatly about being fair.
In the interest in fairness, I suggest you select a more appropriate partner, perhaps the female that Immanuel Paine informed me of. An unknown female must be able to do better in the ring than a miniscule moron, right? At least then it would not be a handicapped match, but regardless she puts you at a disadvantage. You have no experience teaming with this girl, nor do you with David. Liam and I have been training as a team, and fighting as a team for several months already, you have several days to develop team chemistry. Good luck.
In the end you are in zugzwang like Mr. Baker. No matter whom you choose as a partner, whether it be your former partner from the Pac, an unknown female, a dwarf, unicorn, pixie, the end result will be the same. Order and Chaos will stand tall, our hands raised in victory, as a chorus of confused Americans boo their saviours' triumph. I'm sorry Dante, but not even "The Devil Himself" can get out of zugzwang. So will you admit defeat? Or will you play through to your demise. I guess we shall see at Wrestle Extravaganza.
The New Era is coming, and we promise Wrestle Extravangaza: St. Valentine's Massacre, will be a night the world will not forget.
"Life is paiN." - 'Nitemare'