Post by Deleted on May 10, 2011 11:19:25 GMT -5
No, your eyes do not play tricks on you, nor was Shellshock a one-night-stand. The White Knight is back! I have come once again to PCW to have fun, to entertain the cheering crowd once again under the boredom they’ve been having under the reign Elite, to make them get their money’s worth through every single match I step on that ring, and most importantly, to do what me and my buddies do best: To kick some major and serious butt.
But before I say anything else, you might be wondering what I’m doing at the bottom of the card. You see, it just so happens that working main events after main events out of nowhere doesn’t really do me any good, nor does it sit well with the people in the back. So I requested, and was granted, to fight my way from the bottom of the pyramid and upwards until I reach either my limit, or the World Title belt once again. What I have done, in this way, is similar to the decision PCW itself has made in parting ways with My Wrestling Network. For years, have we been loyal to the network and the only thing that kept it running. Premium Championship Wrestling, like it or not, became the heart that pumped in the life to My Wrestling Network.
And after dealing with corporate stooges and forced to accept “talent” who had no interest or ability to keep up with PCW’s best, they chose to kick PCW out the door. Too bad though, that the Network have now realized they’re in over their heads, and requested me to convince PCW to come back. I passed my proposal to the executives backstage, and they answered with a big fat NO! And although it is painful for me, I have agreed. At that point in time I realized the truth: PCW chose its destiny. It was predicted death twice, and is still here to tell the tale, rising once again from the bottom to the top. And taking the example of PCW, this is what I have done.
Yes, that is right. I said “CHOOSE YOUR DESTINY.” Doesn’t it remind you of something? I’ll give you a hint: It’s the most violent, extreme, and intense form of combat ever known to mankind. It’s a cult product and has had a loyalist rabid fanbase for years. It grows on blood, sweat, tears, and controversy, and it doesn’t adjust to wrestling’s PG crap you get forcefed through the television airwaves nowadays. Care to make a guess?
No! Close one, given the similarities, but no, it’s not PCW. I’m talking about, that’s right ladies and gentlemen, you guessed it, MORTAL KOMBAT! You remember immediately when you hit start and select your character, a big booming evil voice tells you “CHOOSE YOUR DESTINY”? Then you get the pyramids, from the shorter one to the taller one, depending on the amount of opponents you wish to battle. And after selecting the pyramid that you will attempt to climb, immediately after comes your first challenge, which is normally a low-tier two-bit hack who is completely unprepared, incompetent and not up to par with the rest of the roster.
Which brings me to the first of my opponents this week, PCW’s trademark resident jobber by the name of Jerry Static. For months we’ve had to deal with the antics of this piece of excrement who showed up twice, whined, pissed and moaned whenever he had a match he couldn’t possibly have a chance to win without effort – which basically means WEEKLY – and then left when presented with a big chance to rise to the stardom he preached he was aspiring to. This week ladies and gentlemen, I will face the first tile of the pyramid, and show Jerry Static what PCW is about. Jerry Static is going to be introduced to the most serious form of combat mankind has to offer.
MORTAL KOMBAT!!!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(The dark clouds travel slowly over the starless night sky, only the moon producing any form of light, here and then interrupted by the clouds passing through it; making the already eerie environment of the uncharted island even more dangerous and disturbing. In the center of the island, a lavish temple stands, decorated with marble and ivory statues of dragons and Buddhas, and adorned with red banners with a carved rampant dragon sign. In the temple, several people of all kinds, looking to be fighters by their athletic builds, calm demeanor and fierce look in their eyes, stand looking at a large throne, being watched by guards wearing masks, armed with naginata spears. Little sounds come from the fighters as they mutter to each other.
Among the fighters stands Mariano, his chest bare, clad in black pants with red details and equally red boots, another red headband wrapped around his forehead. His girlfriend Rei Ayanami stands beside him, in a lavender-colored singlet, her beautiful dark orchid hair in a top knot. Not too far away are Mariano’s two friends Jeff Bogard and Johnny Lee, from the Double Dragons tag team, both clad in their blue and yellow ninja uniforms. They seem to be expecting something, knowing that something serious is behind this meeting.)
Princess Kitana (Rei): “I sense Shang Tsung is approaching.”
Liu Kang (Mariano): “I sense his presence as well. The air has started to become foul.”
Sub-Zero (Jeff Bogard): “Indeed… although that could be for a number of reasons…” (he turns his head towards his partner)
Scorpion (Johnny Lee): “Huh?”… (he realizes the joke and his expression turns into one of anger) “HEY!” (He points a hand at Jeff Bogard) “GET OVER HERE!”
(Out of his forearm guard shoots a kunai knife with a rope aimed at Sub-Zero, which he barely misses.)
Sub-Zero (Jeff Bogard): “Okay Johnny, no need to get so worked up.” (they begin chuckling, but Mariano raises his hand to warn them)
Liu Kang (Mariano): “Guys, let’s get serious. Here he comes.”
(And indeed, as Mariano finishes speaking, a large number of monks come from opposite corridors next to the temple, and the muffled voices in the temple come to a complete silence as the monks kneel down in front of the fighters. After this, an old man in a luxurious red silk tunic appears from behind the throne. His head is nearly bald, with a few long streaks of grey at his sides, and a thin long moustache and beard give his face the appearance of a ghost. His voice is raspy and weak as he begins speaking.)
Shang Tsung (Shannon Saint): “Kombatants.”
(All the fighters stand there motionless, waiting for his speech.)
Shang Tsung (Shannon Saint): “I am Shang Tsung, and I am the host of this Mortal Kombat tournament. In the coming days, each of you will fight. Some are here out of their own volition. Others were brought here by chance. You participate in the most important Mortal Kombat in history! This tournament, the tenth after nine Outworld victories, will determine Earthrealm’s fate. If you defeat all of your opponents, you will face one final challenge… Outworld Emperor Yoshao Long.”
(He looks at Mariano, and an evil smile creeps across his face.)
Shang Tsung (Shannon Saint): “And it looks like we have found our first combatant. Liu Kang, you will fight… REPTILE STATIC!”
(A humanoid figure, except for his reptilian face, clad in a green ninja suit, creeps from behind Shang Tsung and leaps into the middle of the temple, and utters a long screech. Mariano leaps into his encounter as well, and they get surrounded by the mask guards, delimiting the arena.)
Mariano (Liu Kang): “I will not let you take Earthrealm!”
(As Reptile and Mariano take their stances, Shang Tsung stands up.)
Shang Tsung: “FIGHT!”
(Both opponents start circling each other. Reptile takes the offense by spitting acid at Mariano, which he dodges just in time to see smoke rising from the ground he was previously standing on. Reptile sticks out his tongue to trap Mariano, but he jumps into the air behind him and hits Reptile with a roundhouse kick. As Reptile goes down, Mariano utters a high pitched “WHOA!”. After headspringing from the ground, Reptile charges at him with a sliding kick, but Mariano is quick enough to jump back and hit an air fireball, knocking Reptile once again to the ground. Reptile gets up just in time to see Mariano shoot another fireball at him, and this time he jumps into the air, but as soon as he is going down, Mariano clocks him with an uppercut, sending him flying once more into the ground. As Reptile gets up, he appears furious.)
Reptile (Jerry Static): “BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!”
(Once again he starts charging at Mariano, who equally begins running towards him.)
Liu Kang (Mariano): “Oooh… WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAH!”
(Mariano, aided by his running momentum, hits a flying kick right on Reptile’s chest, stopping him in his tracks.)
Liu Kang (Mariano): “WHOATATATATATATATATA!”
(Mariano’s bicycle kicks hit Reptile as machinegun bullets, and Reptile eventually gets beaten. Shang Tsung looks disgusted at his fighter being completely decimated.)
Shang Tsung (Shannon Saint): “Now… FINISH HIM!”
(Mariano looks at the dizzied Reptile Static, ripe for the final blow, and he approaches him looking at him intently. He grabs him… and tosses him aside, towards Shang Tsung.)
Liu Kang (Mariano): “No. Listen to me.” (He points at Shang Tsung.) “When the next fight comes… remember what you saw here today. The people of Earthrealm are not murderers. We have respect of the Elder Gods and the laws of Mortal Kombat.”
(He adopts the traditional Shaolin salute posture, his two hands together and his head lowered).
Liu Kang (Mariano): “I choose… Mercy.”
(Shannon Saint looks at Mariano with rage, and sends his masked guards to take him with a motion of his hand. A large number of soldiers start charging at Mariano…)
Sub-Zero (Jeff Bogard): “Hey, that’s no fair!”
(He shoots an Ice blast to one of the guards, freezing him.)
Scorpion (Johnny Lee): (Towards Sub-Zero) “No it isn’t!” (He notices a guard aiming his Naginata at Mariano from behind) GET OVER HERE!” (He shoots his kunai knife to another of the guards, catching him in the back, and lures him to himself by tugging of the rope, then takes off his mask and reveals only a flaming skull, breathing flames into the guard and incinerating him.)
Sub-Zero (Jeff Bogard): (Upon watching Scorpion) “FATALITY!” (He approaches the frozen masked guard, and rips his skull off, complete with spinal cord, tossing them next to the remains of the guard Scorpion burned alive.)
Princess Kitana (Rei): “Aah… Hi-ya!” (She throws her fans to a nearby masked guard, decapitating him. At that point, she, Scorpion, and Sub-Zero have reached Mariano.)
Liu Kang (Mariano): “Wow! Thanks fellows!”
Sub-Zero (Jeff Bogard): “No problem dude! Now let’s kick some sorcerer ass!” (They look at Shang Tsung, who turns scared at the sight of the four united kombatants. In the meantime, more mask guards rush towards the four, and are easily taken down with no problems, until Shang Tsung conjures a fireball and throws it at the warriors. However, Mariano and his partners are able to avoid it in the nick of time, making Shang Tsung’s fireball kill his own troops.)
Scorpion (Johnny Lee): “Hey man, you go get that old geezer! We’ll deal with these stooges in the meanwhile!”
Liu Kang (Mariano): “Understood!”
(Upon hearing these words, Shang Tsung’s face turns into horror, and begins running away as much as his old body allows him to. He conjures a portal and attempts to get in… but Mariano leaps in his way.)
Shang Tsung (Shannon Saint): “No!”
(Mariano smiles.)
Liu Kang (Mariano): “Oh, yes. FIGHT!”
(They both assume their fighting stances, and Mariano begins obliterating Shang Tsung.)
Liu Kang (Mariano): “HAH!”
(Upon his first blow, Shang Tsung morphs into Scorpion)
Liu Kang (Mariano): “HOOH!”
(A roundhouse kick makes Shang Tsung turn into Sub-Zero).
Liu Kang (Mariano): “HAAAAAAAH…”
(And a forearm shot to the face morphs him into Kitana, but an uppercut by Mariano makes him revert to his normal face again.)
Liu Kang (Mariano): “WHOOOOOOAH!”
(He hits a cartwheel kick ending in an uppercut, sending Shang Tsung flying through the portal, which disappears after. He looks at his companions, piling up the bodies of the defeated masked guards, and he smiles).
Liu Kang (Mariano): “Flawless victory!”
(Fade to black.)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mortal Kombat, ah the memories. I’m more of a Street Fighter fan, but I remember playing it fondly. And who wouldn’t, it was innovative in its time. When all fighting games used cartoonish characters and were almost family friendly and non-violent, Mortal Kombat brought in blood, gore, torn body limbs and real digitized sprites made with actual flesh-and-bone actors. It also introduced the pyramid battle, rising your fighter from the bottom to the top. All qualities which reflect in PCW.
I mean, just look at your daily Rapture. I know I’m not exactly the best person to vouch for it, but there you have it, extreme action, blood and gore, violence to the maximum possible expression, and real people being a part of all of this. All we’re missing are the Fatalities, but I’ll be sure to introduce them this week. At least my Fatality, like the one of Liu Kang in the first game, will not have Jerry Static explicitly murdered, no matter how much that reptile deserves it.
Because let’s face it, a reptile is what you are, Jerry Static. Always crawling around, nobody wants to be anywhere near you, you spit acid on every possible change, and have a long twisted tongue which you use to spew whatever delusions of grandeur you have, when in reality you’re nothing more than a run-of-the-mill jobber only kept in the roster as a token to newer talent to beat up at every possible chance, your punishment for the reptilian behavior you showed TWICE to this federation.
When you realize your tongue will get you nowhere, alienating the people whose favor you seek yourself, you disappear out of sight and never come back, one more time spitting acid to cover your pathetic runaway, and crawling again to be forgiven after everything has cooled down.
Well Static, not this time. When you were accepted into the fed after the trouble you’ve caused, we thought you left because of the cancer that we drew away. Instead, the only thing you’ve proven was that your expulsion was the fruit of your own actions, and that nobody wants to see your sorry butt in PCW anymore. You made a fool of me by vouching you to be accepted again and then pulling out what you did, and now I’m going to return that favor to you. You’re going to be introduced to the most intense form of combat outside of Mortal Kombat, courtesy of PCW and of yours truly. Get ready, Jerry Static, because after I’m done with you, if you still have any hearing left, after Jimmy Wilkes says “HERE IS YOUR WINNER… MARIANO FERNANDEZ!!!”, you will hear the trademark words…
FLAWLESS VICTORY.
I’ll see you at Rapture, Jerry Static.
JUSTICE WILL PREVAIL!
But before I say anything else, you might be wondering what I’m doing at the bottom of the card. You see, it just so happens that working main events after main events out of nowhere doesn’t really do me any good, nor does it sit well with the people in the back. So I requested, and was granted, to fight my way from the bottom of the pyramid and upwards until I reach either my limit, or the World Title belt once again. What I have done, in this way, is similar to the decision PCW itself has made in parting ways with My Wrestling Network. For years, have we been loyal to the network and the only thing that kept it running. Premium Championship Wrestling, like it or not, became the heart that pumped in the life to My Wrestling Network.
And after dealing with corporate stooges and forced to accept “talent” who had no interest or ability to keep up with PCW’s best, they chose to kick PCW out the door. Too bad though, that the Network have now realized they’re in over their heads, and requested me to convince PCW to come back. I passed my proposal to the executives backstage, and they answered with a big fat NO! And although it is painful for me, I have agreed. At that point in time I realized the truth: PCW chose its destiny. It was predicted death twice, and is still here to tell the tale, rising once again from the bottom to the top. And taking the example of PCW, this is what I have done.
Yes, that is right. I said “CHOOSE YOUR DESTINY.” Doesn’t it remind you of something? I’ll give you a hint: It’s the most violent, extreme, and intense form of combat ever known to mankind. It’s a cult product and has had a loyalist rabid fanbase for years. It grows on blood, sweat, tears, and controversy, and it doesn’t adjust to wrestling’s PG crap you get forcefed through the television airwaves nowadays. Care to make a guess?
No! Close one, given the similarities, but no, it’s not PCW. I’m talking about, that’s right ladies and gentlemen, you guessed it, MORTAL KOMBAT! You remember immediately when you hit start and select your character, a big booming evil voice tells you “CHOOSE YOUR DESTINY”? Then you get the pyramids, from the shorter one to the taller one, depending on the amount of opponents you wish to battle. And after selecting the pyramid that you will attempt to climb, immediately after comes your first challenge, which is normally a low-tier two-bit hack who is completely unprepared, incompetent and not up to par with the rest of the roster.
Which brings me to the first of my opponents this week, PCW’s trademark resident jobber by the name of Jerry Static. For months we’ve had to deal with the antics of this piece of excrement who showed up twice, whined, pissed and moaned whenever he had a match he couldn’t possibly have a chance to win without effort – which basically means WEEKLY – and then left when presented with a big chance to rise to the stardom he preached he was aspiring to. This week ladies and gentlemen, I will face the first tile of the pyramid, and show Jerry Static what PCW is about. Jerry Static is going to be introduced to the most serious form of combat mankind has to offer.
MORTAL KOMBAT!!!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(The dark clouds travel slowly over the starless night sky, only the moon producing any form of light, here and then interrupted by the clouds passing through it; making the already eerie environment of the uncharted island even more dangerous and disturbing. In the center of the island, a lavish temple stands, decorated with marble and ivory statues of dragons and Buddhas, and adorned with red banners with a carved rampant dragon sign. In the temple, several people of all kinds, looking to be fighters by their athletic builds, calm demeanor and fierce look in their eyes, stand looking at a large throne, being watched by guards wearing masks, armed with naginata spears. Little sounds come from the fighters as they mutter to each other.
Among the fighters stands Mariano, his chest bare, clad in black pants with red details and equally red boots, another red headband wrapped around his forehead. His girlfriend Rei Ayanami stands beside him, in a lavender-colored singlet, her beautiful dark orchid hair in a top knot. Not too far away are Mariano’s two friends Jeff Bogard and Johnny Lee, from the Double Dragons tag team, both clad in their blue and yellow ninja uniforms. They seem to be expecting something, knowing that something serious is behind this meeting.)
Princess Kitana (Rei): “I sense Shang Tsung is approaching.”
Liu Kang (Mariano): “I sense his presence as well. The air has started to become foul.”
Sub-Zero (Jeff Bogard): “Indeed… although that could be for a number of reasons…” (he turns his head towards his partner)
Scorpion (Johnny Lee): “Huh?”… (he realizes the joke and his expression turns into one of anger) “HEY!” (He points a hand at Jeff Bogard) “GET OVER HERE!”
(Out of his forearm guard shoots a kunai knife with a rope aimed at Sub-Zero, which he barely misses.)
Sub-Zero (Jeff Bogard): “Okay Johnny, no need to get so worked up.” (they begin chuckling, but Mariano raises his hand to warn them)
Liu Kang (Mariano): “Guys, let’s get serious. Here he comes.”
(And indeed, as Mariano finishes speaking, a large number of monks come from opposite corridors next to the temple, and the muffled voices in the temple come to a complete silence as the monks kneel down in front of the fighters. After this, an old man in a luxurious red silk tunic appears from behind the throne. His head is nearly bald, with a few long streaks of grey at his sides, and a thin long moustache and beard give his face the appearance of a ghost. His voice is raspy and weak as he begins speaking.)
Shang Tsung (Shannon Saint): “Kombatants.”
(All the fighters stand there motionless, waiting for his speech.)
Shang Tsung (Shannon Saint): “I am Shang Tsung, and I am the host of this Mortal Kombat tournament. In the coming days, each of you will fight. Some are here out of their own volition. Others were brought here by chance. You participate in the most important Mortal Kombat in history! This tournament, the tenth after nine Outworld victories, will determine Earthrealm’s fate. If you defeat all of your opponents, you will face one final challenge… Outworld Emperor Yoshao Long.”
(He looks at Mariano, and an evil smile creeps across his face.)
Shang Tsung (Shannon Saint): “And it looks like we have found our first combatant. Liu Kang, you will fight… REPTILE STATIC!”
(A humanoid figure, except for his reptilian face, clad in a green ninja suit, creeps from behind Shang Tsung and leaps into the middle of the temple, and utters a long screech. Mariano leaps into his encounter as well, and they get surrounded by the mask guards, delimiting the arena.)
Mariano (Liu Kang): “I will not let you take Earthrealm!”
(As Reptile and Mariano take their stances, Shang Tsung stands up.)
Shang Tsung: “FIGHT!”
(Both opponents start circling each other. Reptile takes the offense by spitting acid at Mariano, which he dodges just in time to see smoke rising from the ground he was previously standing on. Reptile sticks out his tongue to trap Mariano, but he jumps into the air behind him and hits Reptile with a roundhouse kick. As Reptile goes down, Mariano utters a high pitched “WHOA!”. After headspringing from the ground, Reptile charges at him with a sliding kick, but Mariano is quick enough to jump back and hit an air fireball, knocking Reptile once again to the ground. Reptile gets up just in time to see Mariano shoot another fireball at him, and this time he jumps into the air, but as soon as he is going down, Mariano clocks him with an uppercut, sending him flying once more into the ground. As Reptile gets up, he appears furious.)
Reptile (Jerry Static): “BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!”
(Once again he starts charging at Mariano, who equally begins running towards him.)
Liu Kang (Mariano): “Oooh… WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAH!”
(Mariano, aided by his running momentum, hits a flying kick right on Reptile’s chest, stopping him in his tracks.)
Liu Kang (Mariano): “WHOATATATATATATATATA!”
(Mariano’s bicycle kicks hit Reptile as machinegun bullets, and Reptile eventually gets beaten. Shang Tsung looks disgusted at his fighter being completely decimated.)
Shang Tsung (Shannon Saint): “Now… FINISH HIM!”
(Mariano looks at the dizzied Reptile Static, ripe for the final blow, and he approaches him looking at him intently. He grabs him… and tosses him aside, towards Shang Tsung.)
Liu Kang (Mariano): “No. Listen to me.” (He points at Shang Tsung.) “When the next fight comes… remember what you saw here today. The people of Earthrealm are not murderers. We have respect of the Elder Gods and the laws of Mortal Kombat.”
(He adopts the traditional Shaolin salute posture, his two hands together and his head lowered).
Liu Kang (Mariano): “I choose… Mercy.”
(Shannon Saint looks at Mariano with rage, and sends his masked guards to take him with a motion of his hand. A large number of soldiers start charging at Mariano…)
Sub-Zero (Jeff Bogard): “Hey, that’s no fair!”
(He shoots an Ice blast to one of the guards, freezing him.)
Scorpion (Johnny Lee): (Towards Sub-Zero) “No it isn’t!” (He notices a guard aiming his Naginata at Mariano from behind) GET OVER HERE!” (He shoots his kunai knife to another of the guards, catching him in the back, and lures him to himself by tugging of the rope, then takes off his mask and reveals only a flaming skull, breathing flames into the guard and incinerating him.)
Sub-Zero (Jeff Bogard): (Upon watching Scorpion) “FATALITY!” (He approaches the frozen masked guard, and rips his skull off, complete with spinal cord, tossing them next to the remains of the guard Scorpion burned alive.)
Princess Kitana (Rei): “Aah… Hi-ya!” (She throws her fans to a nearby masked guard, decapitating him. At that point, she, Scorpion, and Sub-Zero have reached Mariano.)
Liu Kang (Mariano): “Wow! Thanks fellows!”
Sub-Zero (Jeff Bogard): “No problem dude! Now let’s kick some sorcerer ass!” (They look at Shang Tsung, who turns scared at the sight of the four united kombatants. In the meantime, more mask guards rush towards the four, and are easily taken down with no problems, until Shang Tsung conjures a fireball and throws it at the warriors. However, Mariano and his partners are able to avoid it in the nick of time, making Shang Tsung’s fireball kill his own troops.)
Scorpion (Johnny Lee): “Hey man, you go get that old geezer! We’ll deal with these stooges in the meanwhile!”
Liu Kang (Mariano): “Understood!”
(Upon hearing these words, Shang Tsung’s face turns into horror, and begins running away as much as his old body allows him to. He conjures a portal and attempts to get in… but Mariano leaps in his way.)
Shang Tsung (Shannon Saint): “No!”
(Mariano smiles.)
Liu Kang (Mariano): “Oh, yes. FIGHT!”
(They both assume their fighting stances, and Mariano begins obliterating Shang Tsung.)
Liu Kang (Mariano): “HAH!”
(Upon his first blow, Shang Tsung morphs into Scorpion)
Liu Kang (Mariano): “HOOH!”
(A roundhouse kick makes Shang Tsung turn into Sub-Zero).
Liu Kang (Mariano): “HAAAAAAAH…”
(And a forearm shot to the face morphs him into Kitana, but an uppercut by Mariano makes him revert to his normal face again.)
Liu Kang (Mariano): “WHOOOOOOAH!”
(He hits a cartwheel kick ending in an uppercut, sending Shang Tsung flying through the portal, which disappears after. He looks at his companions, piling up the bodies of the defeated masked guards, and he smiles).
Liu Kang (Mariano): “Flawless victory!”
(Fade to black.)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mortal Kombat, ah the memories. I’m more of a Street Fighter fan, but I remember playing it fondly. And who wouldn’t, it was innovative in its time. When all fighting games used cartoonish characters and were almost family friendly and non-violent, Mortal Kombat brought in blood, gore, torn body limbs and real digitized sprites made with actual flesh-and-bone actors. It also introduced the pyramid battle, rising your fighter from the bottom to the top. All qualities which reflect in PCW.
I mean, just look at your daily Rapture. I know I’m not exactly the best person to vouch for it, but there you have it, extreme action, blood and gore, violence to the maximum possible expression, and real people being a part of all of this. All we’re missing are the Fatalities, but I’ll be sure to introduce them this week. At least my Fatality, like the one of Liu Kang in the first game, will not have Jerry Static explicitly murdered, no matter how much that reptile deserves it.
Because let’s face it, a reptile is what you are, Jerry Static. Always crawling around, nobody wants to be anywhere near you, you spit acid on every possible change, and have a long twisted tongue which you use to spew whatever delusions of grandeur you have, when in reality you’re nothing more than a run-of-the-mill jobber only kept in the roster as a token to newer talent to beat up at every possible chance, your punishment for the reptilian behavior you showed TWICE to this federation.
When you realize your tongue will get you nowhere, alienating the people whose favor you seek yourself, you disappear out of sight and never come back, one more time spitting acid to cover your pathetic runaway, and crawling again to be forgiven after everything has cooled down.
Well Static, not this time. When you were accepted into the fed after the trouble you’ve caused, we thought you left because of the cancer that we drew away. Instead, the only thing you’ve proven was that your expulsion was the fruit of your own actions, and that nobody wants to see your sorry butt in PCW anymore. You made a fool of me by vouching you to be accepted again and then pulling out what you did, and now I’m going to return that favor to you. You’re going to be introduced to the most intense form of combat outside of Mortal Kombat, courtesy of PCW and of yours truly. Get ready, Jerry Static, because after I’m done with you, if you still have any hearing left, after Jimmy Wilkes says “HERE IS YOUR WINNER… MARIANO FERNANDEZ!!!”, you will hear the trademark words…
FLAWLESS VICTORY.
I’ll see you at Rapture, Jerry Static.
JUSTICE WILL PREVAIL!