Post by Dr. Gonzo on May 13, 2011 12:31:56 GMT -5
(We slowly fade in to what appears to be a movie set. Several people are milling back and fourth, and the main area, which appears to be a facsimile of a bedroom, is bare, save for one blond haired, blue eyed, big chested woman laying on the bed on the set. She fixes her hair with her hands for a few seconds, then opens up a compact mirror to check her makeup before we hear a voice from off-camera address her)
Director: (V.O) Tammy, we're just about ready to shoot the next scene....
Tammy: (Giggles air-headedly and smiles, tossing her compact mirror aside) Ok!
Director: (V.O) Beasto....are you ready to go?
El Superbeasto: (From behind a door on the set) Juuuuuuuuuuuuust a second folks.....
(Slowly, we hear the sounds of grunting and panting from Beasto. Slowly, Tammy's eyebrow, then the director's, raises as they watch the door in silence, and the grunts intensify. Finally, after several seconds, we hear a "GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Sound, and an exhale of relief)
Director: (Putting his hand to his face) Oh Lord, please don't tell me...
El Superbeasto: (V.O) Phew....it took forever to squeeze into those pants....
Director/Tammy: Phew.....
El Superbeasto: (V.O) Ok J.B, I'm ready for my closeup....
J.B (The Director): Ok....quiet on the set....
Sound Cue Man: (Steps in with clapperboard) "The Grunt-uate" Scene 3, Take 1....
J.B: Action!
(Slowly, the door opens and El Superbeasto enters in, wearing pants that are three sizes too small for him, as well as a muscle shirt)
El Superbeasto: Well....hello there Mrs. Robinson....I finished fixing your sink for you like you asked, is there anything else you need of me?
Tammy: (Blank Delivery, obviously not an actress due to her talent) Well.....there is.....one thing....left....that I need you to do.....to me....
El Superbeasto: (As Tammy opens up her robe and flashes Beasto) Ooooooh, Mrs. Robinson....are you trying to seduce me?
Tammy: (Blank stare, she slowly looks at J.B from the corner of her eye) .....Line?
J.B: (Sighs) Cut..... (Everyone on set sighs, annoyed, as J.B pulls out a script and holds it up) Tammy....your line is.... "Oh I am hunnie, I am..."
Tammy: Oh poop! I'm so sorry Beasto! But I did tell you I wasn't really the best actress...
El Superbeasto: (Eyeing Tammy's rack, and not attempting to be subtle about it at all) Don't you worry about a thing Tammy....that's not why I chose you for this movie....heh heh....
J.B: (Sighs) Take 5 everyone....Tammy, read over your lines so you don't forget them, ok?
(Tammy nods and grabs the script from J.B, walking off as Beasto plops on the bed and sighs)
El Superbeasto: Ah, for the days when porn actresses were hot *and* intelligent..... (A pause) Naaaaah.....intelligent porn actresses always over analyze everything.... (Puts on a falsetto voice) "So....what's my motivation to lick chocolate syrup off of his chest?" (Back to normal voice) It's better off being dumb and pretty...
(Slowly, one of the stage hands walks over to Beasto and sits down next to him)
Stage Hand: Hey Beasto, did you hear about your opponent for your first match in PCW?
El Superbeasto: (Holding a mirror and checking himself out with a grin) Hmmm, can't say I did amigo....who is it?
Stage Hand: Heather Mackenzie...
(A pause, Beasto stares silently at the stage hand)
El Superbeasto: That's an.....awfully weird name for a guy....but hey, whatever floats his boat.....I mean heck, I went to college with a guy named Mia.....nice guy, kinda fruity, but a nice guy....
Stage Hand: Um.....Beasto....Heather Mackenzie is a woman....
El Superbeasto: (Immediatelly drops his mirror and looks at the stage hand) .....Really? (The stage hand nods, slowly, Beasto grins from ear to ear) Oh.....my......goodness.....how hot is *that*!
Stage Hand: .....Wait, what?
El Superbeasto: Don't you see Eric...can I call you Eric?
"Eric": Well.....no, since my name is actually....
El Superbeasto: (Cutting Eric off, puts his arm around his shoulder and pulls him close) Just think of it Eric.....Heather Mackenzie.....that sounds like a name for a pretty hot piece of tush....would *you* pass up the opportunity to "Wrestle" a hot gal if it was given to you?
"Eric": Um......well, no, no I wouldn't....
El Superbeasto: Nor would I! In fact, I think maybe I'll let Heather "have her way with me..." if you catch my drift....heh, heh, heh.... (More to himself) Just think about it....a sleeperhold that turns into an accidental kiss.....then we're making out....and before you know it....I have her in my hotel room, and my conquest is complete.... heh heh....I think I'm gonna like PCW just fine....
("Eric" slowly raises a brow and inches away from Beasto's grip, then clears his throat and speaks)
"Eric": Um.....right.....well, I'm gonna just get back to work Beasto....so....
El Superbeasto: Wait a sec Eric....before you do that....one more thing....do you happen to have a picture of this Heather Mackenzie? I like to know what my potential scores look like before I go in....
"Eric": Well, not on me....but we could go on the PCW website to find it....
El Superbeasto: Way ahead of you hombre..... (Pulls out a laptop from his pants and opens it up, then begins to type)
"Eric": Um.....why was there a laptop in your....
El Superbeasto: (Whispers) Women like a big bulge Eric....
"Eric": ....I.....you..... (Sighs) Never mind....ok there....the roster page....there's her name there....
El Superbeasto: (Giggling in anticipation) Ok.....Heather Mackenzie....let's see your beautiful, gorgeous, hot.... (He clicks on a link, then, slowly, his eyes bug out) Ugly, plastic, disgusting face!
"Eric": (A pause, he looks at the pic and shrugs) I dunno....she looks kinda hot to me....
El Superbeasto: (Closes the laptop and groans) Oh brother....I've seen some dogs before....but that gal takes the whole pound....the Westminster show would be glad to have her....Oh man, I'd better beat her quick in our match before I catch her "ugly". Eric, thanks for bringing this to my attention, I almost made a *huge* mistake!
"Eric": ....Your welcome?
El Superbeasto: Here, have a Beasto bobble head....just a little thank you gift from me to you... (He pulls out a bobblehead doll of himself from his pants and hands it to Eric) Well, I'd better go "re-bulge" these pants, they won't re-bulge themselves....see ya amigo!
(With that, Beasto heads off as "Eric" grimaces and slowly tosses the bobblehead doll aside)
"Eric": I think....I need to boil my hands.... (He walks off)
"Fin".
Director: (V.O) Tammy, we're just about ready to shoot the next scene....
Tammy: (Giggles air-headedly and smiles, tossing her compact mirror aside) Ok!
Director: (V.O) Beasto....are you ready to go?
El Superbeasto: (From behind a door on the set) Juuuuuuuuuuuuust a second folks.....
(Slowly, we hear the sounds of grunting and panting from Beasto. Slowly, Tammy's eyebrow, then the director's, raises as they watch the door in silence, and the grunts intensify. Finally, after several seconds, we hear a "GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Sound, and an exhale of relief)
Director: (Putting his hand to his face) Oh Lord, please don't tell me...
El Superbeasto: (V.O) Phew....it took forever to squeeze into those pants....
Director/Tammy: Phew.....
El Superbeasto: (V.O) Ok J.B, I'm ready for my closeup....
J.B (The Director): Ok....quiet on the set....
Sound Cue Man: (Steps in with clapperboard) "The Grunt-uate" Scene 3, Take 1....
J.B: Action!
(Slowly, the door opens and El Superbeasto enters in, wearing pants that are three sizes too small for him, as well as a muscle shirt)
El Superbeasto: Well....hello there Mrs. Robinson....I finished fixing your sink for you like you asked, is there anything else you need of me?
Tammy: (Blank Delivery, obviously not an actress due to her talent) Well.....there is.....one thing....left....that I need you to do.....to me....
El Superbeasto: (As Tammy opens up her robe and flashes Beasto) Ooooooh, Mrs. Robinson....are you trying to seduce me?
Tammy: (Blank stare, she slowly looks at J.B from the corner of her eye) .....Line?
J.B: (Sighs) Cut..... (Everyone on set sighs, annoyed, as J.B pulls out a script and holds it up) Tammy....your line is.... "Oh I am hunnie, I am..."
Tammy: Oh poop! I'm so sorry Beasto! But I did tell you I wasn't really the best actress...
El Superbeasto: (Eyeing Tammy's rack, and not attempting to be subtle about it at all) Don't you worry about a thing Tammy....that's not why I chose you for this movie....heh heh....
J.B: (Sighs) Take 5 everyone....Tammy, read over your lines so you don't forget them, ok?
(Tammy nods and grabs the script from J.B, walking off as Beasto plops on the bed and sighs)
El Superbeasto: Ah, for the days when porn actresses were hot *and* intelligent..... (A pause) Naaaaah.....intelligent porn actresses always over analyze everything.... (Puts on a falsetto voice) "So....what's my motivation to lick chocolate syrup off of his chest?" (Back to normal voice) It's better off being dumb and pretty...
(Slowly, one of the stage hands walks over to Beasto and sits down next to him)
Stage Hand: Hey Beasto, did you hear about your opponent for your first match in PCW?
El Superbeasto: (Holding a mirror and checking himself out with a grin) Hmmm, can't say I did amigo....who is it?
Stage Hand: Heather Mackenzie...
(A pause, Beasto stares silently at the stage hand)
El Superbeasto: That's an.....awfully weird name for a guy....but hey, whatever floats his boat.....I mean heck, I went to college with a guy named Mia.....nice guy, kinda fruity, but a nice guy....
Stage Hand: Um.....Beasto....Heather Mackenzie is a woman....
El Superbeasto: (Immediatelly drops his mirror and looks at the stage hand) .....Really? (The stage hand nods, slowly, Beasto grins from ear to ear) Oh.....my......goodness.....how hot is *that*!
Stage Hand: .....Wait, what?
El Superbeasto: Don't you see Eric...can I call you Eric?
"Eric": Well.....no, since my name is actually....
El Superbeasto: (Cutting Eric off, puts his arm around his shoulder and pulls him close) Just think of it Eric.....Heather Mackenzie.....that sounds like a name for a pretty hot piece of tush....would *you* pass up the opportunity to "Wrestle" a hot gal if it was given to you?
"Eric": Um......well, no, no I wouldn't....
El Superbeasto: Nor would I! In fact, I think maybe I'll let Heather "have her way with me..." if you catch my drift....heh, heh, heh.... (More to himself) Just think about it....a sleeperhold that turns into an accidental kiss.....then we're making out....and before you know it....I have her in my hotel room, and my conquest is complete.... heh heh....I think I'm gonna like PCW just fine....
("Eric" slowly raises a brow and inches away from Beasto's grip, then clears his throat and speaks)
"Eric": Um.....right.....well, I'm gonna just get back to work Beasto....so....
El Superbeasto: Wait a sec Eric....before you do that....one more thing....do you happen to have a picture of this Heather Mackenzie? I like to know what my potential scores look like before I go in....
"Eric": Well, not on me....but we could go on the PCW website to find it....
El Superbeasto: Way ahead of you hombre..... (Pulls out a laptop from his pants and opens it up, then begins to type)
"Eric": Um.....why was there a laptop in your....
El Superbeasto: (Whispers) Women like a big bulge Eric....
"Eric": ....I.....you..... (Sighs) Never mind....ok there....the roster page....there's her name there....
El Superbeasto: (Giggling in anticipation) Ok.....Heather Mackenzie....let's see your beautiful, gorgeous, hot.... (He clicks on a link, then, slowly, his eyes bug out) Ugly, plastic, disgusting face!
"Eric": (A pause, he looks at the pic and shrugs) I dunno....she looks kinda hot to me....
El Superbeasto: (Closes the laptop and groans) Oh brother....I've seen some dogs before....but that gal takes the whole pound....the Westminster show would be glad to have her....Oh man, I'd better beat her quick in our match before I catch her "ugly". Eric, thanks for bringing this to my attention, I almost made a *huge* mistake!
"Eric": ....Your welcome?
El Superbeasto: Here, have a Beasto bobble head....just a little thank you gift from me to you... (He pulls out a bobblehead doll of himself from his pants and hands it to Eric) Well, I'd better go "re-bulge" these pants, they won't re-bulge themselves....see ya amigo!
(With that, Beasto heads off as "Eric" grimaces and slowly tosses the bobblehead doll aside)
"Eric": I think....I need to boil my hands.... (He walks off)
"Fin".