Post by Papi El Sueno on Jun 12, 2012 15:15:15 GMT -5
OOC: Posting this on behalf of Michael (meeks56/handler of Derek Jacobs) for his match on Insanity because he may not have the time to get it posted due to a busy schedule so I'm doing it for him (also note, this is in the rule book so it's perfectly fine).
It’s a sunny day in Chicago, and Derek Jacobs is on the roof of his highrise apartment working out. As the music flows through his headphones, he thinks back on his performance in the 12 person battle royal at the last aftershock. He becomes angrier and angrier as the thinks of how he was eliminated until finally:
FUCK!
As he screams that carnal yell, he throws the weights he was working out with across the roof, almost hitting his mentor, James Parker, in the head with it as he walks through the access door.
James Parker: you know Derek, you really should work on that temper. What’s gotten you so ate up this time big man?
Derek Jacobs: That bitch Denton. I was just working out and I thought of how I was dominating the battle royal when she got lucky and put me out. If that would’ve been a fair fight I would’ve stuck her head so far up her ass her gynecologist would’ve had to remove it.
James Parker: Derek, you need to focus. When you lose your temper like that, you’re easy to break down. You lose sight of things. Anyway, I’m here to tell you that James Baker was very impressed by your performance last week, so he’s put you in a match on the preshow of Slamathon III.
Derek Jacobs: The Preshow? The FUCKING PRESHOW?
How the fuck am I supposed to show the world what I can do if I’m a fucking curtain jerker? That is total bullshit!
Derek punches the wall, leaving a massive hole in it where his fist was.
James Parker: Derek! Calm down. I know you’re pissed off about being the curtain jerker, but you really need to control your temper and quit doing shit like that. What if you would’ve just broken your hand? You need to think. Channel your anger in your match this week. It’s a handicap match, but you’re gonna love who your opponents are.
Derek Jacobs: Who is it? Is it that bitch Denton and some other 2 dollar whore picked up on the side of the road?
James Parker: (chuckles) no, Derek, it’s not. It’s the dreaded tag team of…..of……THE THREE NINJAS!!
Derek Jacobs:……….. …………… HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! The three ninjas? You mean the SHITTY kid movie stars three ninjas?
James Parker: One and the same.
Derek Jacobs: Baker is kidding right? Oh boy, this is a good joke. What did they do to piss him off? You know what, I don’t care. That sounds like a good match, pfffff who am I kidding? I’m gonna slaughter ‘em! Gimme one second James I have something to take care of real quick.
Jacobs logs into his twitter account.
@daxtremegangsta make it a street fight
@dj_56 alrite. We’ll make that a handicap street fight.
Derek Jacobs: James, not only is my match on insanity a handicap match, it’s a handicap street fight. 2 of them vs. 1 of me. Anything goes, no rules, no limits. Violence at it’s finest. It’s not gonna be a competition. I’m gonna hurt those two mortal kombat wannabees, and that’s all that there is to it. I’m gonna prove to James Baker and everyone else in PCW why I belong on something greater than the pre show to the Pay Per View, and they can all bank…on….that.
It’s a sunny day in Chicago, and Derek Jacobs is on the roof of his highrise apartment working out. As the music flows through his headphones, he thinks back on his performance in the 12 person battle royal at the last aftershock. He becomes angrier and angrier as the thinks of how he was eliminated until finally:
FUCK!
As he screams that carnal yell, he throws the weights he was working out with across the roof, almost hitting his mentor, James Parker, in the head with it as he walks through the access door.
James Parker: you know Derek, you really should work on that temper. What’s gotten you so ate up this time big man?
Derek Jacobs: That bitch Denton. I was just working out and I thought of how I was dominating the battle royal when she got lucky and put me out. If that would’ve been a fair fight I would’ve stuck her head so far up her ass her gynecologist would’ve had to remove it.
James Parker: Derek, you need to focus. When you lose your temper like that, you’re easy to break down. You lose sight of things. Anyway, I’m here to tell you that James Baker was very impressed by your performance last week, so he’s put you in a match on the preshow of Slamathon III.
Derek Jacobs: The Preshow? The FUCKING PRESHOW?
How the fuck am I supposed to show the world what I can do if I’m a fucking curtain jerker? That is total bullshit!Derek punches the wall, leaving a massive hole in it where his fist was.
James Parker: Derek! Calm down. I know you’re pissed off about being the curtain jerker, but you really need to control your temper and quit doing shit like that. What if you would’ve just broken your hand? You need to think. Channel your anger in your match this week. It’s a handicap match, but you’re gonna love who your opponents are.
Derek Jacobs: Who is it? Is it that bitch Denton and some other 2 dollar whore picked up on the side of the road?
James Parker: (chuckles) no, Derek, it’s not. It’s the dreaded tag team of…..of……THE THREE NINJAS!!
Derek Jacobs:……….. …………… HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! The three ninjas? You mean the SHITTY kid movie stars three ninjas?
James Parker: One and the same.
Derek Jacobs: Baker is kidding right? Oh boy, this is a good joke. What did they do to piss him off? You know what, I don’t care. That sounds like a good match, pfffff who am I kidding? I’m gonna slaughter ‘em! Gimme one second James I have something to take care of real quick.
Jacobs logs into his twitter account.
@daxtremegangsta make it a street fight
@dj_56 alrite. We’ll make that a handicap street fight.
Derek Jacobs: James, not only is my match on insanity a handicap match, it’s a handicap street fight. 2 of them vs. 1 of me. Anything goes, no rules, no limits. Violence at it’s finest. It’s not gonna be a competition. I’m gonna hurt those two mortal kombat wannabees, and that’s all that there is to it. I’m gonna prove to James Baker and everyone else in PCW why I belong on something greater than the pre show to the Pay Per View, and they can all bank…on….that.
