Pet Store Windows – Part One (Smith v Stryker RP)

[Smith Jones]

Fade up on a shot of a big, juicy hamburger, overloaded with toppings and dripping with various sauces. It looks disgustingly delicious! Two large, meaty hands enter the frame and grab hold of the monstrous burger. The camera follows in close-up as a rotund man lifts the heart-stoppingly succulent thing to his mouth. The man’s jaw seems to unhinge as he opens wiiiiiiiiide to accommodate the size of this huge bite. Bits of lettuce fall from the edges and burger juice drips on the wax paper wrapper below. His slightly greasy dark hair quivers as he slow-motion chomps into the burger. The groan he lets out is borderline sexual. His immense belly tightens as his powerful jaw crushes through the layers of bread and flesh. He chews loudly and closes his eyes with a bit of a smile and an euphoric nod of approval. In this moment there is nothing else in the universe but this man and his burger. Cut to a shot of Smith Jones sitting at another table in the food court where this man is situated. Smith stares at the guy, ignoring the rest of the people in this mildly busy eating area. Jones is wearing a full suit and a blank stare. Behind his neutral façade is a well of rage that is really never far from the surface. He blinks hard and then looks down at the food in front of him. Smith raises his white chopsticks and clasps them around a piece of salmon and avocado sushi. A small smile creeps up the edges of his lips. He puts the whole thing in his mouth and savours the comforting flavour of the raw fish and rice. Anyone else love sushi as much as he does? I think not. A few more pieces of sushi later, Smith looks up just as the large man is getting up from his disgusting burger. Ketchup and mayonnaise stick to his face as he throws the wrapper in the garbage and waddles away. Smith grunts in disapproval and returns to his sushi.



After the satisfying meal, Smith walks a short while through the mall. There are people everywhere and he has no trouble finding a reason to hate each individual person one by one. Smith sees a pet store and is inexplicably drawn in. Ever since he was a kid he’s always had trouble walking past a pet store without walking in. He walks past the rabbits in the front window and skips the puppies… he’s always had a thing for the reptiles. He walks all the way to the back of the store, past the aquarium to the darkest corner of the store. There’s a snake coiled up in the corner of one of the tanks. It isn’t sleeping. It stares at Smith as Jones stares back. An inter-species stand-off of sorts. Smith smiles. Just then, he hears the voice of a young boy in the near distance.

Kid: But, mom. I reeeeeaaaaaaallllllllyyy want a hamster!!!!! Please???!?!!

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Smith’s ears perk up and he peers around the corner slowly to see the kid. The boy is dressed in a light blue sweater and skinny jeans. His thick blonde hair spills over his forehead, almost into his eyes. He looks like a spoiled little fucking brat. Smith hides his true feelings and puts on a friendly face. The mother turns her back to talk to a friend she has run into. The boy frowns as he stares into the plexi-glass hamster cage. As we sit on a close-up of the kid, Smith’s face creepily enters the frame, smiling like an idiot. They both stare into the very large hamster cage. There must be thirty or so hamsters inside! Smith speaks.

Smith: They’re cute, right? Hamsters… they seem like a fun pet to have. Easily contained. Fuzzy little friends that you can keep right in your bedroom between your Batman Lego set and your Sponge Bob snow globe. Perfect, right? I guess we all have a favourite type of pet. You don’t want a puppy, eh?

The kid shakes his head.

Smith: Yeah, I’m not really a dog guy either. Cats, me. All my life I’ve had at least one cat in the house… that is until a few years ago. I’d had my cat, Pawz, for about seven years before I just stopped loving him one day. True story. When I got him, I loved him more than anything. I took showers with him. I slept with him. He was such a cute lil’ guy. Playful as fuck!

The boy gasps at Smith saying a swear word! They both look over at his mother. She is still occupied. This is how kids go missing, you dizzy bitch. The boy and Smith look at each other. Smith smiles a toothy grin and walks away from the kid towards the kitten cages. The boy looks off in the direction that Smith just went. He looks at his busy mom and pouts angrily. He then looks for Jones and follows him around the corner. Smith is already knelt down in front of the window where the kittens are. The kid runs over and kneels right beside him.

Smith: They’re so cute. They all are, really. Kittens, puppies, hamsters, bunny rabbits… all of these cute lil’ baby animals in one place. It’s almost cruel to expect people like you and me to just walk on by without taking one of these little monsters home with us. One day you will, young man. One day your mother will soften and she’ll get you a hamster or whatever animal it is that happens to strike your fancy that day. You’ll proudly carry it up to the counter and your mother will reluctantly pay for it because she already knows how this is going to play out even though you are still too young to see it coming.

The kid knits his eyebrows in confusion. Smith smiles. He then looks through the plexi-glass window that contains the kittens. He sees a white cat with gray patches in the corner. It gets up and runs over to Smith, pressing its paws against the glass and meowing through the glass at Jones.

Smith: You love this new thing of yours. You take him home to a bowl of food that was already set up before you left. Put him into his new habitat and watch him very closely, helping him to adapt to his new surroundings. You play with him as much as you possibly can. Feed him scraps of your dinner, maybe even some candy from time to time. You talk to him as if he can understand your boyish ranting. You sneak him into your bed in the middle of the night when everyone else is fast asleep. That new pet of yours means everything to you. He’s your new best friend. Until… maybe one day you decide to take him over to your friend’s house to show him off. You let him run around in the yard for a while. He almost smiles as he feels the warm sun beating down on his furry little face. Then, suddenly, your neighbour’s rottweiler tears into the yard and snatches the little kitten or hamster or whatever it was… God, it doesn’t look like one of those now, does it? Now it’s a horrific mess of red flesh and mottled fur being lashed about left to right in the jaws of a stark raving, perhaps rabid dog with hatred in its eyes!!!!!

The boy stares at Smith with giant saucer eyes full of tears just about to explode all over the pet store floor. Jones grabs a Caution Wet Floor sign from nearby and sets it up under the kid’s chin.

Smith: Then, when the rotty is all done devouring what he wants of your best friend, you pick up the tiny little pieces. Perhaps a toe or a bit of an ear or maybe the tip of the tail and you run, tears flowing just like they are right now, all the way down the street and into your mother’s kitchen. Blood drips on the brand new tile as you try to explain through violent sobs what just happened out there!!

The kid is now fully crying.

Mother: Corey?[/color]

Smith: Sssssshhhhhhh!! She’s going to come and take you away from the pet store now. She’s gonna tell you you’ve gotta go now. But not before I give you this advice. Kid, don’t waste your time tying your emotions up in some dumb little creature that you’ll only grow to regret weeks later. Do yourself a favour. Figure out what it is that you really want in life and GO FOR IT!!! Start learning right now, today, what will make your life what you want it to be and do it. Don’t waste your life falling in love. Don’t pour your bank account into some dirty chick just because she gave you a handy in the boys’ locker room. Fuck, you have no idea what I’m talking about do you? How old are you?

Kid: Seven.[/color]

Smith: Seven! Good!!! There’s still plenty of time.

Mother: Corey, where are you?[/color]

Smith: This thing we do, staring in through pet store windows, this is where it all starts. This is where we learn to daydream about the things we will do with the one we love. We think about snuggling and petting and being close to this other being that loves us back. The problem is this thing rarely turns out to be what we wanted it to be and we waste our time and money trying to make it better than it actually is. If you focus your passion on what you really want instead of squandering it on the stupid little distractions along the way you will be successful. Do you want to be successful or do you want to spend the rest of your life with some cute hamster’s blood all over your hands???!?

The boy has no idea what to say to this question. He has stopped crying and is just stunned and speechless.

Smith: Corey, listen to me!!! Never step foot inside a pet store again! Spoiler alert – the pet ALWAYS DIES in the end!!! There's also no Easter Bunny, no Tooth Fairy, no Santa, no God!!!! Never step foot inside a pet store again. And the next time a stranger comes up to you, even if he’s wearing a nice suit, kick him in the balls and RUN!!!!! Now, go to your mother!!!

The confused and distraught child runs away from Smith as he remains knelt down in front of the kittens. He looks through the glass at the trapped animal and frowns.

Smith: Brian Stryker. Kid. You’re caught in a place that you can’t get out of unless someone happens to come and rescue you. You’re just like these kittens…

Jones gets up and walks past some hanging cages.

Smith: …or these parakeets…

He then stops and stands over the cage where he’d met the young boy.

Smith: …or these hamsters. You’re locked into a battle against the most dangerous newcomer to walk in here in a little while. I’m sure when we first crossed paths, you thought I was harmless enough. Just another cocky motherfucker saying he’s the best this and the greatest that before ever proving a single thing. Well, what a crazy few weeks these have been! You represent my very first pay-per-view win in PCW. I am not going to take it easy and take this lightly. I am going to scar you for life, Stryker!!! I am going to violate your person so badly they’ll offer you watery hot chocolate and ask where on the doll the bad man touched you!!

As Jones gets worked up, his collar begins to bother him. He loosens his tie and unbuttons the top few buttons. He removes his suit jacket and throws it down one of the aisles.

Smith: I’m the worst thing that could have possibly happened to you – and right before Christmas on top of it! You’re going to be in no condition to sit on Santa’s knee, Kid, because I’m going to sever your spine with mine. My finisher, as you know, is a Backstabber to the neck. It is particularly targeted and cruel and I always deliver it with malice aforethought. The Point of Controversy is not only going to make it impossible for you to compete in the Battlefield Match, it is going to send you to a special care facility where you’ll spend your winter afternoons painting sunsets by holding a paintbrush in your teeth!!!!!

His eyes are wild and he might even be foaming at the mouth some. Jones tears at the buttons on the front of his shirt and rips it open to reveal a gray T-shirt underneath. It says ‘Knock Knock’ in big black letters. There is a big white ‘X’ over the whole front of the shirt. Smith is losing his mind a little right now.

Smith: Do I look like a joke to you??!!?!!?!!? Not fucking likely, friend. I am dead serious most of the time. I have a lot to prove to a lot of people and, quite frankly, on December 8th, I will have a lot more important things on my mind than my singles squash against you! That night is the Battlefield Match!!!!!!!!! I’m going to make short work of you early on in the night so that I can rest up through the five subsequent matches between my win over you, Bri Bri, and my emergence as a dominant force in the midst of the largest match of the year… literally!! Brian Stryker, you wanna tell me that you used to be just like me until you figured out that being nice is better??!! Are you for fucking real??!!?!!! I can assure you that facebook friends do NOT pay the bills, Instagram likes do NOT win you matches, and twitter followers certainly do NOT win you championships. I came into this game with a scowl on from the jump. I am a heel for real and I aim to end you like a rottweiler with an attitude!!! And if you somehow get up from the beating I give you and walk into the Battlefield Match, you’re likely to get trampled to death like a soccer fan!!!!

He opens the top of the hamster cage and takes one out. He holds it right up close to his face and scrunches his nose at the smell of it. He then stoops over and puts it on the floor. He takes out another hamster and puts it on the floor. And then another, and then another until all thirty-three hamsters are on the ground wandering about and spreading around the store.

Smith: Struggle For Power may be the name of the PPV, but I’d suggest that it is not a good idea for you, Stryker. For you, they should have named the show Just Play Dead. I’m going to give you a chance to lessen the severity of your beating so you can at least keep earning a paycheque. When you post your promo this week, beg me not to end your career. Give me a detailed list of reasons as to why I should care not to make this your last match. Beg me, Brian. Kneel at your bedside like a good little boy and pray to me not to kill you. Speak up so we can all hear you. This is your last chance to save yourself from Smith Jones.

The pet store staff have already called mall security on this apparent lunatic as three guards enter the store and approach Smith Jones. The lead guard motions to Smith that it’s time to go. Jones is reluctant to comply.

Smith: Gentlemen, you three look hilarious in these costumes of yours. You remind me of three other jokers who once showed up to my match in costume and cost me a win. You rent-a-cop wannabes better back the fuck up or we’re gonna have a problem here. If I just let the Hamster go out into the cruel world, he may get stepped on by a burger-munching fat guy or even run over by a car! I’m here to teach the Kid a few life lessons and to save him the pain of trying to live up to the likes of ME. It’s a cruel world out there. At least I’ll end it quickly for him.

The guards close in as pet store workers collect the hamsters in the background.

Smith: I SAID BACK THE FUCK UP!!!!!!!

The guard behind Smith lunges to attack and Jones catches him with a sharp elbow to the nose!! It immediately spurts blood. Smith takes on a fighting stance and eyes the other guards.

Smith: Let’s do this.


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To Be Continued…[/center]