Post by WilliamSteele on Apr 24, 2013 22:39:28 GMT -5
Welcome to the grand illusion! Come on in and see what’s happening! Pay the price get your tickets for the show!
The scene opens to inside of a dimly lit café. The now retro Daf Punk sits at a table dressed in his normal dark blue jeans, sneakers and navy blue polo shirt. He reaches forward grabbing a coffee mug that is resting on the table. Raising it to his lips, he takes a few sips before returning the mug to the table. A smile slowly spreads across his face as several unknown people sit down in front of him. The camera pans around to reveal two young men and two young women, all dressed for some kind of formal outing. One of the gentlemen is wearing a crimson red suit with a blue tie, and crimson red pants. The girl with him is in a sky blue dress with low cut top and no back, sequins shimmer in the low light off of the dress. The other gentleman is wearing a forest green suit with a brown tie and forest green pants. The young lady with him is wearing a matching green dress.
Daf: So, let me see if I have this right…You are the head of a committee for some social shindig here locally. You had booked some musical talent to come and play at your dance. And now they are claiming they are not going to be able to make it?
Crimson Suit: Well, yes sir…and we were hoping that we…
Daf: Shh! Don’t speak…Tell you what I am going to do…give me your phone and the manager or whoever is in charge of this ass hat that is trying to cancel on you. I am going to call them and get this situation fixed.
Forest Suit: ...But mister, we were going…
Daf: Please, just don’t speak! It will ruin your date’s evening if you keep talking.
The guy in the crimson suit digs in his suit jacket’s pocket pulling out an IPhone 5 and a scrap of paper with a phone number.
Crimson Suit: His name…his name is Jay Coulier and he is rather strange…
Daf: Coulier got it, a moron got it…
Daf takes the phone and scrap of paper and starts to dial the number. After several rings someone picks up on the other end.
Coulier: Listen, I’ve already told you me and my band are not going to play your stupid show!
Daf: Whoa! There buddy cool your jets…that is no way to answer the phone especially in the line of business you are in. Now you listen to me, I do not know you nor do I really care about getting to know you and I am sure the feeling is mutual towards me, but here is the thing you told these kids you or your band would play their little dance.
Daf pulls the phone away from his face looking at the kids.
Daf: Did you pay this guy in advance?
Forest Suit: Yeah, he kind of demanded it…
Daf shakes his head looking down mumbling something under his breath.
Daf: Cash or check?
Forest Suit: Check…
Daf: Did you postdate the check?
Crimson Suit: Of course…
Daf: Did you meet with him in person to give him the check and have him sign an agreement to play?
Crimson Suit: Yeah and the asshole was two hours late!
Daf: Wow... language in front of the ladies now…
Daf puts the phone back up to his face.
Daf: Okay now listen…Here is what is going to happen: First, you are going to play their dance and you going to do a full set list of songs and any request the audience happens to have. Second, you are going to return the check the kids gave you and do this show free of charge.
Coulier: I think you are on some kind of bad drug trip if you think that, sir…
Daf: Please do not interrupt me like that again and secondly I do not do drugs…Now as I was saying you are going to do the show free of charge, and after the dance is over you are going to help them clean up the ballroom the dance is being held in.
Coulier: Okay, right... and just what makes you think that I am going to agree to all of this?
Daf: Well I would really hate for me or any of my associates to have to come to your studios and well, you know that plant out in Texas that went bye-bye and nothing but twisted metal and slab of foundation was left? Well if me or any of my associates have to come down there then your little studio will be nothing more than a crater in the ground…and no this is not a threat what so ever this is a guarantee that your livelihood, that any and all things that you hold precious to you will be ripped away from you piece by piece.
Coulier:*fear radiating in his voice* You…you are joking?
Daf: Oh I never joke about these kinds of things…while yes picturing a three and half foot midget carrying a Molotov cocktail while trying to eat two tacos at once is a funny sight... what that midget is capable of doing with just one of those kinds of cocktails is not…So be at the dance, play the best concert you have ever done, do it for free and clean up afterwards, okay?
Daf presses a button the phone ending the call before tossing it back to young man in the crimson suit. The two young women shyly look down, the one in the sky blue dress playful twirls her fingers in her hair while the one in the green dress chews softly on her lip.
Crimson suit: Wow! That…that was amazing! We had called you in hopes of you being our special guest at the dance in place of those guys…but…Wow! Thanks!
Forest Suit: Yeah, Please let us know how we can ever repay you for helping…
Daf: That’s easy…the check he is going to give you back since he is now doing the show for free, you are going to give it to me.
Forest Suit: You…you can’t be serious?
Daf: A great man, who now lives in some hick town in central Mississippi where he works as a preacher was known by his motto that "Everyone’s got a price!" And well, kiddos, my price is the same price you were going to pay that musical act…And in truth it’s that or you can go back to the people in charge and tell them that you lost the money…it’s your choice?
Daf smiles mischievously as the young man in the crimson suit sighs.
Crimson Suit: Fine…who do we make the check out to?
Daf: Cash!
The scene fades to black.
The scene then fades back in to reveal Daf Punk now leaning against a red brick building still wearing his normal street attire. The various sounds of a busy city are heard in the background. Daf grins as he notices the camera crew in front of him.
Daf: So in just a few days there is pay per view event. I don’t remember the name of the event just that it is this Sunday. But to be completely honest the name of the event is not all that important. What is important is the W…and no I don’t mean George W Bush, but the W that is put in the records for winning the match. That is the one thing that can never be undone, never changed, and will always remain the same. The one thing I do remember is that this Sunday’s pay per view event has a nice little theme to it. And that theme is a retro theme, where all of us P.C.W. superstars get to relive a bit of glory days of when we first started in the business. And for anyone who knows us in The Pac, we don’t do anything half assed.
Daf looks down at his polo shirt.
Daf: Which reminds me, and this may cause me to catch some flake but it is not like I really care…
Daf tears his polo shirt off tossing the shreds to the side revealing a classic Degeneration X t-shirt underneath. He then reaches behind him pulling out a pair of dark sunglasses and places them over his eyes.
Daf: Ahh there we go, now I feel more like my old self. And what’s even better about this nice little retro pay per view is that not only do I get to dress retro, I get to do it in the city where I first started, my original home town, San Diego. I mean damn it is almost like fate, but if I start on that topic I won’t have time to do what I have really come here to do.
Daf reaches into his front left pocket and pulls out a slip of paper and unfolds it revealing some writing on it.
Daf: So let’s so who all is in this match with me…Psycho guy, depressed crazy chick, and rich English boy…Wow they could’ve made this a tag match being money versus crazy…
Daf sighs as he pinches the bridge of his nose.
Daf: Can someone please explain to me why everyone thinks that in order to get over in this business or to even have some kind of longevity that they need to be crazy…Half of this match, and I almost want to say seventy five percent of this match, is crazy given Liam’s dealing with the creepy man in the cave a few months back. I will never fully understand it and really wish people would leave their so called quote-unquote crazy "baggage" at the door.
Daf takes a few deep breaths.
Daf: Now little Miss. Anti-Social, I’ll start with you since we’ve already met once before and the outcome was you on your back. Konstantine, you know I really must applaud you for having the most original and creative history in the wrestling world. Seriously you have got to be the first person in the history of wrestling whose parents were killed and or died while they were still at a young age which cause them to be traumatized and locked away to be forgotten about in an insane asylum, only to be released years later and use their now "anti-social" behavior in the ring. Nope that has never been done in the entire history of wrestling. You see this whole "I’m creepy and mysterious, with no human emotional ties," is rather droll and all in all not frightening. Don’t think for one hot second that by claiming you don’t feel human emotion and don’t feel remorse for the things you do is going to affect me and cause me to shake in my boots.
Daf taps his feet against the pavement looking down.
Daf: Well for one I’m not wearing boots and secondly I again will bring up the fact that given the people I am around nearly twenty-four seven, there is nothing in this world or the next or in other world you can do that will ever strike fear into my soul. I mean it’s kind of hard to put fear into someone who has witnessed someone fall dead of a heart attack and flat line in the hospital not once but twice and not a few days later see them up and around with no scar from surgery and no sign of ever being sick. I’ve seen someone be burned alive twice and days later not have any scars or skin graft on them. I’ve sat next to someone who told me in great detail with a twinkle in his eye of how he gutted and set a guy on fire for merely taking his parking spot. You see, little girl, the only time you will ever see fear in my eyes is when the people who I consider family are acting out of the ordinary. I’ve grown so accustomed to being surrounded by the crazy which is my brother, the mentally unstable one is the loveable midget, the unethical one is The Devil Himself, and the reasonable being the guy who always refers to himself in the third person. When they stop acting like that is when I will show fear in my eyes as the world must be coming to an end because something is seriously wrong. So please little girl do not even try and to spin your little tale of bullshit, no emotion, no feelings around me because the more I think of it the more I think you are just full of shit and just have a bunch of repressed anger and pent up frustration that you need to get out by a good fucking.
Daf pulls out his wallet from his front right pocket and pulls out a stack of business cards and starts to look through them.
Daf: Ah, here we go.
Daf pulls out a card from the stack and tosses it at the camera.
Daf: That is my brother’s card, give him a call. You can fuck him any and all ways. He likes it rough so if you want to go on a little sadomasochism kick with him, it will be fine he likes it rough, wild and hot.
Daf tosses another card at the camera.
Daf: LeKKter, that card is for you. It is also my brother’s card, but please don’t call him for a good fucking he doesn’t swing that way. But he is good partner in crime for you, he needs something to do in his down time and breaking and entering, blowing shit up is right up his alley. I’m sure he can teach you a few things. You see LeKKtey your craziness is more of a mild nuisance like my brother’s. It is something one must deal with to get through the day. But unlike Richard’s I feel yours comes from years of drug abuse that warped your mind into what we all see. And much like I just told the anti-social princess your antics are of no concern to me and just everyday occurrences to me.
Daf leans back up against the wall.
Daf: Which brings me to you, Liam. This is going to be a new experience for both us as this will be our first match against each other. And for me it will be the first time I get fight a toe tapping burgermeister as Peter Griffin would put it. Speaking of which I think I have a card for you as well…
Daf starts looking through his cards again
Daf: Who better…nope he is dead now I need to get rid of this one…Ah I do know these two guys and they do look so good just not to me, but I don’t think they would go for it. Well darn guess I don’t have anyone available to help you out, sorry. Liam you have fought my other Pac friends, I am the unknown for you and don’t think for a minute that a trip to that cave with the creepy old man is going to help you figure out how to deal with me.
Daf suddenly grins as he scratches his chin
Daf: Wow you know I just thought about something…this match is going great for me. As you see given that I have signed contract for this sanctioned match I legally am allowed to do something that every white supremacy group in the south would love to do. I can legally do something that would otherwise be considered a hate crime. You see this Sunday and please don’t take this the wrong way but, Sunday I get to beat the shit out of a bitch, a retard and a faggot! Sunday is going to be a great night and by the end of it I’ll walk out of the pay per view with yet another win in the record books for myself and the two majorities and the one minority in this fed will be left bloody and broken in the ring.
Daf pushes off the wall and walks towards the back of the alley as he whistles the tune to "The Greatest American Hero" and the scene fades to black
