Post by Yoshiru Long on Sept 11, 2013 22:25:13 GMT -5
OOC: This is quite a bit different from my normal style. I hope everyone enjoys, and I would love to hear some feedback (I'll post a feedback thread in the OOC).
The snow dances in the night's sky, as if seamlessly following the guide of an unheard melody. It's majestic beauty matched only by Heaven's stars, sprinkled randomly upon a blanket of black. The flowing breath of the sky is chilling, never easing as it influences the every movement of each individual flake. Beyond the speckles of white lie the erroneous mounds of rock, extending themselves into the clouds. Their jaggedness, a dedication to many of the Earth's perfections through imperfection. The flowing rush of water that normally compliments the formations rests in a slumber, solid and reflective as a diamond. Upon it's surface rests a mirror image of the sliver of light that desperately tries to peak past the rolling clouds.
I had been here many times before. This place, it's shackles drag me back. I slowly opened my eyes, gazing upon the journey that would lie ahead. It had become second-nature to me, advancing up the mountainside. As I stood near the frozen river, I reflected upon the last time that I stood in this place. And for a moment, I felt at peace.
The trek up the mountain was always exhausting, and this time would prove to be no different. As I furthered up the rocky terrain, the frigid chill seeped through the cloak that covered me, leaving little comfort. As torturous as the journey could become, what lies at the end of the journey has always been worth it. Beyond the blinding snow and the harsh winds stood my destination, the ledge that led to the cavern where like always, I could clear my conscience. As I approached the ledge, I could feel myself becoming more at ease. The journey had always been testing, but needed. I stood on the ledge, hesitant as I looked toward the cavern. Inside is where I would find my answers, but I felt drawn to look upon the amazing wonders that rested below. For a moment, my focus would turn to the wondrous formations in the distance and the dancing flickers of light glimmering through the dead trees, all separated by the river which rested between them, and the formation I stood on. After taking in a breath of the icy air, I turned to the cavern once more. Every step, imprinting my path within the snow that covered the ledge. At the entrance of the cavern, a torch rested, lodged in to the icy wall. As I had done so many times before, I lit the torch, watching as it's flames reflected upon every portion of the cavern's iced-over walls. To me, this was a wonder within itself. One gleam of light to illuminate every part of the cavern. It's reflection upon the glassy surfaces leading my path.
Step after step, I found myself drawing closer. I could see the opening approaching, a throne room of sorts. From an enclosed path, I soon found myself in the vast chamber hidden within the mountain itself. A massive throne designed for the likes of kings or Gods sat in front of me, the all-to-familiar hammer resting next to it. As much as the sight relieved me, knowing that my journey was nearly complete, in my heart I knew that something was missing. Like I had done so many times before, I walked past the throne, a symbol of Him, and found the man-made steps that led out to the darkness once more. At the end of the steps rested a precipice, hanging above the dug-in ledge that led to the cavern. And upon the precipice, a figure cloaked in darkness rested upon a knee, looking toward the mountains that challenged his own. As I drew closer, I could sense that He knew He was no longer alone.
This wouldn't be the first time that myself and Him had been in the presence of each other. We had always had some sort of connection. Even while the other was physically absent, a portion of them remained with us. To Him, I was the cloud of darkness that infested every man. I was a poison, the very poison that He struggled to contain. To me, He was the light. Through my darkest days, He was the one thing that I could consider sanctity for myself. Much like the day wages war with nightfall, even though they need each other to have purpose, so did we. We could exist as who we are without the other, but we would both refuse to let the other in. I was night, and He was day.
He remained silent, waiting upon my words. He knew my purpose for returning, just as He has always known my purpose for confiding in Him. Through pure hatred, I have found trust in Him. Although my opposite, He would be the only one who could understand.
Yoshiru Long: It's been a long time, old friend.
My words were calm. Although a part of me had always been frightened by Him, I never lacked the confidence to speak to him.
Magnus Thunder: You have returned to speak...
Yoshiru Long: I have come to find myself.
He hesitated, continuing to look to the mountains.
Magnus Thunder: And you come here?
His words were calm, they always were calm. And yet a part of me still found something within Him to be afraid of.
Yoshiru Long: Every time that I have searched for answers, this has been the place that I come to.
Magnus Thunder: You keep returning to this place... Tell me, do you think that the answers are still here?
Yoshiru Long: Yes...
Magnus Thunder: And why is that?
Yoshiru Long: I feel safest when I am here.
He turned His head toward me, His piercing blue eyes locked on to me.
Magnus Thunder: Safety isn't always the answer. Sometimes one must travel in to the dangers of the world to find the answers that they are searching for.
Yoshiru Long: I've been down that dark path. I found pain and suffering, but I did not find answers. That dark path almost consumed me.
Magnus Thunder: Yes, I remember. But that path also gave you strength. Your journey down that path gave you humility, it gave you forgiveness, it gave you a second chance.
The words rolled off His tongue like a poet reciting a sonnet. Every word, a masterpiece. Words that were as natural to Him as a person drawing in a breath.
Yoshiru Long: But at what cost?
Magnus Thunder: What you have lost, my friend, it is not because of the path that you took. The things that you have lost, they are the reason why you traveled that path. Remember Rachel?
It had been years, but every memory of her still haunts me. The way she smiled, her laugh, her innocent eyes. All of the nights that I had hoped and prayed to trade spots with her. Every moment that I stood in front of her headstone, completely lost on what to say. She was the closest thing that I had to happiness, and in an instant, she was gone. Time and time again,I had blamed myself for her loss, and He knew that.
Yoshiru Long: Of course I remember her. How could I forget?
Magnus Thunder: Upon her passing, a part of your soul died. You felt like there was nothing left for you. When a man finds himself empty inside, he'll let whatever dark creatures wish to inhabit him in, just to fill that open void.
Yoshiru Long: Taking the path that I did, it was still my fault.
Magnus Thunder: That may be so. But your true purpose was not to walk that darkened path. Your true purpose was to find a way to feel something once again.
Numbness, a feeling that was all too familiar to me. I had felt it for years after Rachel's death. Without her, I was nothing. I became a shell of what I once was. But He was right. I had been overcome by numbness for so long that I needed something, anything to feel.
Yoshiru Long: You're right...
Magnus Thunder: Something else is troubling you...
Yoshiru Long: It's something that Curt said. It bothers me.
Magnus Thunder: Because you don't agree with his words?
Yoshiru Long: I'm not sure. Curt said that our greatness isn't measured by our accolades. That it's measured by our actions.
Magnus Thunder: And why wouldn't you believe that?
Yoshiru Long: It's not that I don't believe that. But we're professional wrestlers. We're in the business to win championships, to earn accolades. So wouldn't that mean that from a standpoint of our profession, our greatness would be measured by the accolades we have earned?
He smiled, as if I had said the exact words that He expected me to say.
Magnus Thunder: How many championships have you won, old friend?
Yoshiru Long: Three. The World Heavyweight Championship in PCW and the World Heavyweight and Unified Championships in CWF.
Magnus Thunder: So, you believe that your greatness is measured by those three championships?
Yoshiru Long: I believe that it shows how skilled I am.
Magnus Thunder: The thing about winning championships is...you may win a championship five times, but it also means that you lost the championship five times. You can't measure one's greatness through their championships and accolades because the championships and accolades are never eternal.
Yoshiru Long: So what exactly do you measure one's greatness from?
Magnus Thunder: Curt is right. It's through your actions. You are one of the best in the wrestling industry. But it's not because you're a former World Heavyweight Champion. You are one of the best because no matter who it is that you step in the ring with, you always force your opponent to their limit.
Yoshiru Long: I guess I never thought of it like that.
Magnus Thunder: We went over a decade with having a feud that defined us both, but yet, we had never stepped in the ring against each other. At SuperCard VI, we finally stood across from each other, ready to put it all on the line for one match. If you were to ask any betting man, they would have told you that I would walk out as the victor. That I would crush you.
Yoshiru Long: I'm not sure that I would believe that.
Magnus Thunder: I'm seven foot five inches and weigh over five hundred pounds. You're six foot four inches and weigh about two hundred fifty pounds. Anyone would believe that I had the advantage in power over you. The only thing that they would believe worked to your advantage would be your speed and agility.
Yoshiru Long: That accounts for a lot though.
Magnus Thunder: I agree. But it doesn't change the fact that speed wears down in a match and agility can only help you so much. But that's part of what makes you great. You stood toe to toe with me through five different falls in a match. You were able to pin me at one point in the match. You knocked me out for a ten count at another point in the match. These are feats that nobody would have believed you would be able to accomplish over me, but you proved them wrong.
Yoshiru Long: But I still lost the match...
Magnus Thunder: Winning isn't everything. You stood your ground. You didn't back down. You didn't run and hide. You kept coming at me. For as little of a heart that you've had over the years...you still have more heart than anyone will give you credit for. And that, my friend, that is what makes you great.
His words, they were meaningful. And for some reason, they actually felt true to me. I had always measured myself by the championships I had won, or by the high-profile matches that I had been victorious in. But it had always went deeper than that. I just never saw it before.
Yoshiru Long: So, Curt is right. It is more than just our victories and achievements.
Magnus Thunder: You say that you come to this place for answers, but why? You consider me as your greatest enemy. But you always come to me for advice.
Yoshiru Long: You are the only one that truly understands me, ghost.
Magnus Thunder: Are you sure that's the reason?
Yoshiru Long: What other reason could there be?
Magnus Thunder: That's something that you need to figure out on your own...
We both looked out upon the mountains across from us as light gray became the skies. Resting below the mountains, the flickering of light had grown, now consuming the dead trees, revealing a quaint village now aflame. The moon no longer hid within the rolling clouds and the stars had hidden themselves away for another day. Shards of the formations surrounding us, across the river as well as near us began to crumble, falling toward the earth. The sudden cracks of thunder chilled me to my bones, although He seemed at ease. Lightning flashed in the darkened clouds, their streaks of white creating their own mysterious designs.
I couldn't understand his ease. This place, it was falling apart. It's destruction had fallen upon our eyes, yet He rested emotionless. The flames which engulfed the village became a blaze, flowing to the river. The once-frozen river rushes viciously, it's current ferociously speeding down-stream. I was at a loss for how this wondrous place could alter itself so much in mere hours, and how the man who called this place home could watch this place fall to pieces.
I felt a rumble as the ground below us quaked. Chunks of rock broke from the precipice, tumbling down the side of the formation before crashing to the earth below. He could continue to watch, but I wasn't going to let this place be the death of me. I rushed in to the mountain, hurrying down the now crumbling stairs that led me to the throne room. Before I could continue, I looked over to the throne. Old and broken, it looked like it had been deserted for years. The hammer no longer rested next to the throne. Had I been seeing things? Was it all an illusion? I needed answers, which left me with a choice. I could either take the path out to the mountain itself and try to make it down through the crumbling of the mountain, or I could return to the precipice in hopes of finding an answer to what I was seeing.
After a moment's thought, I rushed back up the stairs. I ran out to the edge of the precipice and grabbed him by the shoulder. I spun him around.
Yoshiru Long: This place is falling apart, ghost! Why do you sit and watch?!
Magnus Thunder: This place is already dead, my friend.
Yoshiru Long: What are you talking about?! The mountains, they are crumbling! The village, it's a blaze now!
Magnus Thunder: Look in to your heart, old friend. You'll see the truth...
His words, they meant nothing. He was not the kind of man to watch as this place fell apart. He had to do something, anything to stop this destruction. But yet, he watched. He continued to watch. I couldn't understand. He stood for so much, yet, at the time of need, he did nothing.
Yoshiru Long: This is your home! You need to do something!
Magnus Thunder: This is not my home...
I couldn't believe His words. This was him home. This burning village was His village. The hammer next to the throne was His hammer. The throne itself was His throne. And yet, He denies it.
Yoshiru Long: Why?! Why do you watch?! Your home...
Magnus Thunder: This is not my home, old friend. Look. Look and see for yourself...
He was wrong. This was his home. I knew it. He knew it...
I glanced out upon the destruction. I looked at the blazing flames licking the shoreline of the river. I looked at the mountains behind the blaze, now crumbled nearly to rubble from where they stood. As much as my heart was in pain at the sight, I suddenly understood. I was the cause. I was to blame. The fire, it was my desire that fueled the flames. The rubble, it was my desire that shattered the formations in to shards of their former selves. The thunder, the lightning, they broke through the dawn at my desire. This place, I was the one destroying it...
Yoshiru Long: I understand...
I dropped to a knee next to him as I slowly closed my eyes. I could feel a change. I opened my eyes, finding myself no longer surrounded by mountains. No longer did a fire blaze. No longer did thunder crash and lightning burst. And He no longer was next to me...
The night was dark and cold, a slight breeze in the winds. A moon set fully in the sky, its bright light shining down upon the earth. Stars speckled the blanket of black above, each illuminating with clarity. And I, I rested upon a knee, a headstone resting in front of me. One that I had visited many times. One that gripped my heart, crushing it within it's grasp. My breaths were limited as pain circulated throughout my body. I stared, knowing the truth, but always hoping that it was one long nightmare. My innocence...it was lost with her...
Yoshiru Long: All of us have moments where we travel a path that leads to darkness. A path where damnation rests at the end. A path that leads to nothing other than an empty void. For years, I wandered this path. I never questioned where it was taking me. I never asked if I should turn around. Something pulled me closer and closer to the end of this path. Something drove me. Call it desire. Call it fate. Whatever it was, it had victory over my broken heart...
I looked down upon the ground in front of me. Dead stems and shriveled petals lay on the grass. I reached down and gathered up the shriveled remains, collecting them in my hand. I squeezed tightly, feeling them turn in to a powder under my grip. They were dead. Everything has a time to die, and for them, that time was well-past. Maybe they were taken before their time, or maybe they lived to their full potential. But in that moment, I hated them. They represented her. She was innocent. She deserved to live, and yet, she was taken before her time. She was taken from me. My heart mourned and filled with anger at the same time. I should have saved her... I couldn't save her...
Yoshiru Long: It's funny how things work. A man can live a life full of sin, but yet, continue to live a life. A child can be innocent, and yet, fall to a tragic fate. What kind of God would condone such a thing? What kind of God would take the life of an innocent, but let the sinner continue to sin? The path I walked, it was a dark one. It was a path that only the heartless could tread down. And myself, I was the heartless. The chains that once had bound me to innocence were broken, ripped away from me. My soul, it was left to die with her. I often wondered how it was that I could continue walking this Earth when she was forced in to the ground with the worms. Was it a punishment? Was death not punishment enough for me? Did I have to suffer the unthinkable for eternity? I often wondered if she was taken to ensure that I continued to suffer.
A single tear streamed down my right cheek as memories flooded in to my brain. Every day that I neglected her. Every moment that she wanted to spend with me, yet I wasn't there. Every moment that she asked βWhen are you going to be home, Daddy?β I took it all for granted. As much as I loved her, I let her live her life with a ghost, a shadow of who a father should be. Maybe the punishment I was given was justified. Maybe this was mercy. She didn't have a father from the start, and taking her wouldn't change that...
Yoshiru Long: Regardless, my heart was broken, and there was nothing that could mend it. She was my innocence. The only part of me that I truly saw as being good. And with her gone, I was empty inside. I continued down that dark path. In my mind, I was looking for answers. But in reality, I already had the answers, I just chose not to acknowledge them. You see, when you lose something dear to you, you lose sight of everything else that you have. Everything that I still had, none of it mattered. In my mind, it might as well have been dead and buried with her. That day that I buried her, I died that day. And yet, even through my own death, I was forced to walk this Earth. I was forced to continue on. I was forced to live in the agony of knowing that although I was dead inside...I was still alive on the outside...
I wiped the tear away from my face as I bowed my head for a moment in silence. A little ironic, most of my life involved silence with her with never being around, and yet, silence seems like the answer as I kneel next to her. And through everything, even through this silence, I would give anything to make sure that she knows that I truly did love her.
Yoshiru Long: A friend of mine talked about greatness. He made the point that our accolades are not what make us great. That our legacy is not defined by the awards that we have received, but rather, by the actions that we have taken in life. I struggled with this words. To me, my accomplishments showed that I had acquired greatness. They had reflected who I was. I just couldn't see things the same way that he did. I couldn't see that as defining as an accomplishment may seem, an accomplishment can always be taken away. He was right. My legacy, it has been defined by many things. A daughter that I lost. A wife that left me. A dark path that I took. A moment of redemption. They are my true legacy. They are what have made me who I am today.
I hesitated, taking a moment to think about my true legacy.
Yoshiru Long: Ryan, you are the Platinum Champion. You have been victorious over some of the best to step in to the ring. But you have not reached greatness. Curt was right. It's the actions that you take. It's how you conduct yourself. Those are the things that make a person great. I have won championships in my career, but they aren't what made me great. It was stepping in to the ring with a man who everyone thought would tear me apart, and walking out victorious. It was stepping in to the ring with a man twice my size, and walking out with the respect of the audience. It was stepping in to the ring with a man who resembled my former self, and giving the audience the performance of a lifetime. My legacy isn't defined by being a former World Heavyweight Champion. My legacy is defined by the performances that I have put on in the ring.
I opened my hand, the dead remains of the flowers still resting on my palm. With the slight breeze, they blew away from me, crashing in to the headstone before falling back to the ground.
Yoshiru Long: That championship that you carry to the ring, Ryan...it means nothing. It's not what will define your legacy. It's not what will make you great. And until you understand that, your legacy will mean nothing. When I walk out to the ring, it's not about whether I walk out victorious or I fall in defeat. It's about pushing my opponent to the limit. It's about making my opponent go above and beyond what they felt they were capable of. It's about performing at the level that I know I can. I don't need the admiration of the fans to know that I have reached greatness. If they want to cheer me, they can. If they want to boo me, they can. But no matter their reaction toward me, they cannot deny that part of the reason they watch is to see me perform.
I felt a chill in my body. This has been my life. The very thing that kept me apart from her has been the only thing that has allowed me to hold on. As much as she was a part of my life, this has always held precedence, even if it shouldn't have. But without it, I knew in my heart that I would be lost...
Yoshiru Long: I remember on Rapture, you said something about Team Lethality being at the top of the mountain and The Elite standing at the bottom. And as much as you may hate to hear this, Curt was right. We are at the bottom, you are at the top. But that mountain is crumbling from under you, Ryan. It is falling apart, turning to rubble. Look at what's happened lately. Danielle Lopez, albeit by cheap tactics, no longer holds the World Heavyweight Championship. The Princesses Of Lethality no longer hold the World Tag Team Championship. At one point, your little group looked like it was the pinnacle of this industry, but that's changed, Ryan. Danielle, she used that championship to define her legacy, and look what happened. I admit, when the journey is long, it is difficult to not use such an accomplishment to define yourself. But in the end, the defining moment for her become the fact that she no longer holds the World Heavyweight Championship...
I couldn't help but compare the scenario to my own life. It always seems that when you feel that you're on the top of the mountain, it crumbles beneath you. It's about what you take for granted, and as I knelt near her headstone, I couldn't help but feel overwhelmed. What once was the reason for being apart from her had become the one thing that binds me to her. I did it to offer her a better life...
I took in a breath, the cold chilling air filling my lungs. I exhaled and placed my hand upon the headstone.
Yoshiru Long: But you have a chance, Ryan. You have a chance at greatness. You have a chance to define your legacy. And no, it's not as simple as defeating me in the ring. You see, Ryan. When we step in to the ring at Rapture, it's about a lot more than simply getting a victory or falling in defeat. If you want your legacy defined, if you truly want to realize greatness, it's going to be about your performance. It's going to be about pushing me to my limit...pushing me over my limit. It's going to be about giving me everything you have, and more. I'm talking about pulling out all of the stops. If you limit yourself to the likings of the audience, your legacy will be tarnished. You can't care about what they think. You can't care about what the rest of the locker room thinks. At Rapture, you need to be prepared for anything and everything. And most of all, it means to stop hiding behind that Platinum Championship. Do you really think that the belt draped across your shoulder is going to define you? Do you think that it somehow makes you better than the likes of me...the likes of Curt...or the likes of anyone else not holding a championship in the locker room? Because if that's what you think, you're wrong.
I stood up and look upon the sea of headstones, each marking the loss of a loved one. Each marking the final resting place of a soul no longer residing on this Earth. The loved ones of these lost souls, each with a broken heart like mine. But each with a life to define...
Yoshiru Long: Ryan, at Rapture, it is me and you. It is your chance to truly define yourself. My advice, be who you truly are...not who everyone else wants you to be.
As the moonlight continued to shine down upon her headstone, down upon the headstones of many who were lost, I began to realize that I was not alone in how I felt. Each of these graves were markers of others who had taken a dark path. Who had given in, hoping to find something that filled the void inside of them. I might have lost her, but I didn't lose myself. With each breath of the icy air that I took in, I had proof that I was still alive...
Yoshiru Long: I'll see you at Rapture.
I looked up upon the stars as a smile came to my face. I had found clarity. I had found understanding. I had found the answers that I was looking for.[/font]
OF ASH
The snow dances in the night's sky, as if seamlessly following the guide of an unheard melody. It's majestic beauty matched only by Heaven's stars, sprinkled randomly upon a blanket of black. The flowing breath of the sky is chilling, never easing as it influences the every movement of each individual flake. Beyond the speckles of white lie the erroneous mounds of rock, extending themselves into the clouds. Their jaggedness, a dedication to many of the Earth's perfections through imperfection. The flowing rush of water that normally compliments the formations rests in a slumber, solid and reflective as a diamond. Upon it's surface rests a mirror image of the sliver of light that desperately tries to peak past the rolling clouds.
I had been here many times before. This place, it's shackles drag me back. I slowly opened my eyes, gazing upon the journey that would lie ahead. It had become second-nature to me, advancing up the mountainside. As I stood near the frozen river, I reflected upon the last time that I stood in this place. And for a moment, I felt at peace.
The trek up the mountain was always exhausting, and this time would prove to be no different. As I furthered up the rocky terrain, the frigid chill seeped through the cloak that covered me, leaving little comfort. As torturous as the journey could become, what lies at the end of the journey has always been worth it. Beyond the blinding snow and the harsh winds stood my destination, the ledge that led to the cavern where like always, I could clear my conscience. As I approached the ledge, I could feel myself becoming more at ease. The journey had always been testing, but needed. I stood on the ledge, hesitant as I looked toward the cavern. Inside is where I would find my answers, but I felt drawn to look upon the amazing wonders that rested below. For a moment, my focus would turn to the wondrous formations in the distance and the dancing flickers of light glimmering through the dead trees, all separated by the river which rested between them, and the formation I stood on. After taking in a breath of the icy air, I turned to the cavern once more. Every step, imprinting my path within the snow that covered the ledge. At the entrance of the cavern, a torch rested, lodged in to the icy wall. As I had done so many times before, I lit the torch, watching as it's flames reflected upon every portion of the cavern's iced-over walls. To me, this was a wonder within itself. One gleam of light to illuminate every part of the cavern. It's reflection upon the glassy surfaces leading my path.
Step after step, I found myself drawing closer. I could see the opening approaching, a throne room of sorts. From an enclosed path, I soon found myself in the vast chamber hidden within the mountain itself. A massive throne designed for the likes of kings or Gods sat in front of me, the all-to-familiar hammer resting next to it. As much as the sight relieved me, knowing that my journey was nearly complete, in my heart I knew that something was missing. Like I had done so many times before, I walked past the throne, a symbol of Him, and found the man-made steps that led out to the darkness once more. At the end of the steps rested a precipice, hanging above the dug-in ledge that led to the cavern. And upon the precipice, a figure cloaked in darkness rested upon a knee, looking toward the mountains that challenged his own. As I drew closer, I could sense that He knew He was no longer alone.
This wouldn't be the first time that myself and Him had been in the presence of each other. We had always had some sort of connection. Even while the other was physically absent, a portion of them remained with us. To Him, I was the cloud of darkness that infested every man. I was a poison, the very poison that He struggled to contain. To me, He was the light. Through my darkest days, He was the one thing that I could consider sanctity for myself. Much like the day wages war with nightfall, even though they need each other to have purpose, so did we. We could exist as who we are without the other, but we would both refuse to let the other in. I was night, and He was day.
He remained silent, waiting upon my words. He knew my purpose for returning, just as He has always known my purpose for confiding in Him. Through pure hatred, I have found trust in Him. Although my opposite, He would be the only one who could understand.
Yoshiru Long: It's been a long time, old friend.
My words were calm. Although a part of me had always been frightened by Him, I never lacked the confidence to speak to him.
Magnus Thunder: You have returned to speak...
Yoshiru Long: I have come to find myself.
He hesitated, continuing to look to the mountains.
Magnus Thunder: And you come here?
His words were calm, they always were calm. And yet a part of me still found something within Him to be afraid of.
Yoshiru Long: Every time that I have searched for answers, this has been the place that I come to.
Magnus Thunder: You keep returning to this place... Tell me, do you think that the answers are still here?
Yoshiru Long: Yes...
Magnus Thunder: And why is that?
Yoshiru Long: I feel safest when I am here.
He turned His head toward me, His piercing blue eyes locked on to me.
Magnus Thunder: Safety isn't always the answer. Sometimes one must travel in to the dangers of the world to find the answers that they are searching for.
Yoshiru Long: I've been down that dark path. I found pain and suffering, but I did not find answers. That dark path almost consumed me.
Magnus Thunder: Yes, I remember. But that path also gave you strength. Your journey down that path gave you humility, it gave you forgiveness, it gave you a second chance.
The words rolled off His tongue like a poet reciting a sonnet. Every word, a masterpiece. Words that were as natural to Him as a person drawing in a breath.
Yoshiru Long: But at what cost?
Magnus Thunder: What you have lost, my friend, it is not because of the path that you took. The things that you have lost, they are the reason why you traveled that path. Remember Rachel?
It had been years, but every memory of her still haunts me. The way she smiled, her laugh, her innocent eyes. All of the nights that I had hoped and prayed to trade spots with her. Every moment that I stood in front of her headstone, completely lost on what to say. She was the closest thing that I had to happiness, and in an instant, she was gone. Time and time again,I had blamed myself for her loss, and He knew that.
Yoshiru Long: Of course I remember her. How could I forget?
Magnus Thunder: Upon her passing, a part of your soul died. You felt like there was nothing left for you. When a man finds himself empty inside, he'll let whatever dark creatures wish to inhabit him in, just to fill that open void.
Yoshiru Long: Taking the path that I did, it was still my fault.
Magnus Thunder: That may be so. But your true purpose was not to walk that darkened path. Your true purpose was to find a way to feel something once again.
Numbness, a feeling that was all too familiar to me. I had felt it for years after Rachel's death. Without her, I was nothing. I became a shell of what I once was. But He was right. I had been overcome by numbness for so long that I needed something, anything to feel.
Yoshiru Long: You're right...
Magnus Thunder: Something else is troubling you...
Yoshiru Long: It's something that Curt said. It bothers me.
Magnus Thunder: Because you don't agree with his words?
Yoshiru Long: I'm not sure. Curt said that our greatness isn't measured by our accolades. That it's measured by our actions.
Magnus Thunder: And why wouldn't you believe that?
Yoshiru Long: It's not that I don't believe that. But we're professional wrestlers. We're in the business to win championships, to earn accolades. So wouldn't that mean that from a standpoint of our profession, our greatness would be measured by the accolades we have earned?
He smiled, as if I had said the exact words that He expected me to say.
Magnus Thunder: How many championships have you won, old friend?
Yoshiru Long: Three. The World Heavyweight Championship in PCW and the World Heavyweight and Unified Championships in CWF.
Magnus Thunder: So, you believe that your greatness is measured by those three championships?
Yoshiru Long: I believe that it shows how skilled I am.
Magnus Thunder: The thing about winning championships is...you may win a championship five times, but it also means that you lost the championship five times. You can't measure one's greatness through their championships and accolades because the championships and accolades are never eternal.
Yoshiru Long: So what exactly do you measure one's greatness from?
Magnus Thunder: Curt is right. It's through your actions. You are one of the best in the wrestling industry. But it's not because you're a former World Heavyweight Champion. You are one of the best because no matter who it is that you step in the ring with, you always force your opponent to their limit.
Yoshiru Long: I guess I never thought of it like that.
Magnus Thunder: We went over a decade with having a feud that defined us both, but yet, we had never stepped in the ring against each other. At SuperCard VI, we finally stood across from each other, ready to put it all on the line for one match. If you were to ask any betting man, they would have told you that I would walk out as the victor. That I would crush you.
Yoshiru Long: I'm not sure that I would believe that.
Magnus Thunder: I'm seven foot five inches and weigh over five hundred pounds. You're six foot four inches and weigh about two hundred fifty pounds. Anyone would believe that I had the advantage in power over you. The only thing that they would believe worked to your advantage would be your speed and agility.
Yoshiru Long: That accounts for a lot though.
Magnus Thunder: I agree. But it doesn't change the fact that speed wears down in a match and agility can only help you so much. But that's part of what makes you great. You stood toe to toe with me through five different falls in a match. You were able to pin me at one point in the match. You knocked me out for a ten count at another point in the match. These are feats that nobody would have believed you would be able to accomplish over me, but you proved them wrong.
Yoshiru Long: But I still lost the match...
Magnus Thunder: Winning isn't everything. You stood your ground. You didn't back down. You didn't run and hide. You kept coming at me. For as little of a heart that you've had over the years...you still have more heart than anyone will give you credit for. And that, my friend, that is what makes you great.
His words, they were meaningful. And for some reason, they actually felt true to me. I had always measured myself by the championships I had won, or by the high-profile matches that I had been victorious in. But it had always went deeper than that. I just never saw it before.
Yoshiru Long: So, Curt is right. It is more than just our victories and achievements.
Magnus Thunder: You say that you come to this place for answers, but why? You consider me as your greatest enemy. But you always come to me for advice.
Yoshiru Long: You are the only one that truly understands me, ghost.
Magnus Thunder: Are you sure that's the reason?
Yoshiru Long: What other reason could there be?
Magnus Thunder: That's something that you need to figure out on your own...
We both looked out upon the mountains across from us as light gray became the skies. Resting below the mountains, the flickering of light had grown, now consuming the dead trees, revealing a quaint village now aflame. The moon no longer hid within the rolling clouds and the stars had hidden themselves away for another day. Shards of the formations surrounding us, across the river as well as near us began to crumble, falling toward the earth. The sudden cracks of thunder chilled me to my bones, although He seemed at ease. Lightning flashed in the darkened clouds, their streaks of white creating their own mysterious designs.
I couldn't understand his ease. This place, it was falling apart. It's destruction had fallen upon our eyes, yet He rested emotionless. The flames which engulfed the village became a blaze, flowing to the river. The once-frozen river rushes viciously, it's current ferociously speeding down-stream. I was at a loss for how this wondrous place could alter itself so much in mere hours, and how the man who called this place home could watch this place fall to pieces.
I felt a rumble as the ground below us quaked. Chunks of rock broke from the precipice, tumbling down the side of the formation before crashing to the earth below. He could continue to watch, but I wasn't going to let this place be the death of me. I rushed in to the mountain, hurrying down the now crumbling stairs that led me to the throne room. Before I could continue, I looked over to the throne. Old and broken, it looked like it had been deserted for years. The hammer no longer rested next to the throne. Had I been seeing things? Was it all an illusion? I needed answers, which left me with a choice. I could either take the path out to the mountain itself and try to make it down through the crumbling of the mountain, or I could return to the precipice in hopes of finding an answer to what I was seeing.
After a moment's thought, I rushed back up the stairs. I ran out to the edge of the precipice and grabbed him by the shoulder. I spun him around.
Yoshiru Long: This place is falling apart, ghost! Why do you sit and watch?!
Magnus Thunder: This place is already dead, my friend.
Yoshiru Long: What are you talking about?! The mountains, they are crumbling! The village, it's a blaze now!
Magnus Thunder: Look in to your heart, old friend. You'll see the truth...
His words, they meant nothing. He was not the kind of man to watch as this place fell apart. He had to do something, anything to stop this destruction. But yet, he watched. He continued to watch. I couldn't understand. He stood for so much, yet, at the time of need, he did nothing.
Yoshiru Long: This is your home! You need to do something!
Magnus Thunder: This is not my home...
I couldn't believe His words. This was him home. This burning village was His village. The hammer next to the throne was His hammer. The throne itself was His throne. And yet, He denies it.
Yoshiru Long: Why?! Why do you watch?! Your home...
Magnus Thunder: This is not my home, old friend. Look. Look and see for yourself...
He was wrong. This was his home. I knew it. He knew it...
I glanced out upon the destruction. I looked at the blazing flames licking the shoreline of the river. I looked at the mountains behind the blaze, now crumbled nearly to rubble from where they stood. As much as my heart was in pain at the sight, I suddenly understood. I was the cause. I was to blame. The fire, it was my desire that fueled the flames. The rubble, it was my desire that shattered the formations in to shards of their former selves. The thunder, the lightning, they broke through the dawn at my desire. This place, I was the one destroying it...
Yoshiru Long: I understand...
I dropped to a knee next to him as I slowly closed my eyes. I could feel a change. I opened my eyes, finding myself no longer surrounded by mountains. No longer did a fire blaze. No longer did thunder crash and lightning burst. And He no longer was next to me...
The night was dark and cold, a slight breeze in the winds. A moon set fully in the sky, its bright light shining down upon the earth. Stars speckled the blanket of black above, each illuminating with clarity. And I, I rested upon a knee, a headstone resting in front of me. One that I had visited many times. One that gripped my heart, crushing it within it's grasp. My breaths were limited as pain circulated throughout my body. I stared, knowing the truth, but always hoping that it was one long nightmare. My innocence...it was lost with her...
Yoshiru Long: All of us have moments where we travel a path that leads to darkness. A path where damnation rests at the end. A path that leads to nothing other than an empty void. For years, I wandered this path. I never questioned where it was taking me. I never asked if I should turn around. Something pulled me closer and closer to the end of this path. Something drove me. Call it desire. Call it fate. Whatever it was, it had victory over my broken heart...
I looked down upon the ground in front of me. Dead stems and shriveled petals lay on the grass. I reached down and gathered up the shriveled remains, collecting them in my hand. I squeezed tightly, feeling them turn in to a powder under my grip. They were dead. Everything has a time to die, and for them, that time was well-past. Maybe they were taken before their time, or maybe they lived to their full potential. But in that moment, I hated them. They represented her. She was innocent. She deserved to live, and yet, she was taken before her time. She was taken from me. My heart mourned and filled with anger at the same time. I should have saved her... I couldn't save her...
Yoshiru Long: It's funny how things work. A man can live a life full of sin, but yet, continue to live a life. A child can be innocent, and yet, fall to a tragic fate. What kind of God would condone such a thing? What kind of God would take the life of an innocent, but let the sinner continue to sin? The path I walked, it was a dark one. It was a path that only the heartless could tread down. And myself, I was the heartless. The chains that once had bound me to innocence were broken, ripped away from me. My soul, it was left to die with her. I often wondered how it was that I could continue walking this Earth when she was forced in to the ground with the worms. Was it a punishment? Was death not punishment enough for me? Did I have to suffer the unthinkable for eternity? I often wondered if she was taken to ensure that I continued to suffer.
A single tear streamed down my right cheek as memories flooded in to my brain. Every day that I neglected her. Every moment that she wanted to spend with me, yet I wasn't there. Every moment that she asked βWhen are you going to be home, Daddy?β I took it all for granted. As much as I loved her, I let her live her life with a ghost, a shadow of who a father should be. Maybe the punishment I was given was justified. Maybe this was mercy. She didn't have a father from the start, and taking her wouldn't change that...
Yoshiru Long: Regardless, my heart was broken, and there was nothing that could mend it. She was my innocence. The only part of me that I truly saw as being good. And with her gone, I was empty inside. I continued down that dark path. In my mind, I was looking for answers. But in reality, I already had the answers, I just chose not to acknowledge them. You see, when you lose something dear to you, you lose sight of everything else that you have. Everything that I still had, none of it mattered. In my mind, it might as well have been dead and buried with her. That day that I buried her, I died that day. And yet, even through my own death, I was forced to walk this Earth. I was forced to continue on. I was forced to live in the agony of knowing that although I was dead inside...I was still alive on the outside...
I wiped the tear away from my face as I bowed my head for a moment in silence. A little ironic, most of my life involved silence with her with never being around, and yet, silence seems like the answer as I kneel next to her. And through everything, even through this silence, I would give anything to make sure that she knows that I truly did love her.
Yoshiru Long: A friend of mine talked about greatness. He made the point that our accolades are not what make us great. That our legacy is not defined by the awards that we have received, but rather, by the actions that we have taken in life. I struggled with this words. To me, my accomplishments showed that I had acquired greatness. They had reflected who I was. I just couldn't see things the same way that he did. I couldn't see that as defining as an accomplishment may seem, an accomplishment can always be taken away. He was right. My legacy, it has been defined by many things. A daughter that I lost. A wife that left me. A dark path that I took. A moment of redemption. They are my true legacy. They are what have made me who I am today.
I hesitated, taking a moment to think about my true legacy.
Yoshiru Long: Ryan, you are the Platinum Champion. You have been victorious over some of the best to step in to the ring. But you have not reached greatness. Curt was right. It's the actions that you take. It's how you conduct yourself. Those are the things that make a person great. I have won championships in my career, but they aren't what made me great. It was stepping in to the ring with a man who everyone thought would tear me apart, and walking out victorious. It was stepping in to the ring with a man twice my size, and walking out with the respect of the audience. It was stepping in to the ring with a man who resembled my former self, and giving the audience the performance of a lifetime. My legacy isn't defined by being a former World Heavyweight Champion. My legacy is defined by the performances that I have put on in the ring.
I opened my hand, the dead remains of the flowers still resting on my palm. With the slight breeze, they blew away from me, crashing in to the headstone before falling back to the ground.
Yoshiru Long: That championship that you carry to the ring, Ryan...it means nothing. It's not what will define your legacy. It's not what will make you great. And until you understand that, your legacy will mean nothing. When I walk out to the ring, it's not about whether I walk out victorious or I fall in defeat. It's about pushing my opponent to the limit. It's about making my opponent go above and beyond what they felt they were capable of. It's about performing at the level that I know I can. I don't need the admiration of the fans to know that I have reached greatness. If they want to cheer me, they can. If they want to boo me, they can. But no matter their reaction toward me, they cannot deny that part of the reason they watch is to see me perform.
I felt a chill in my body. This has been my life. The very thing that kept me apart from her has been the only thing that has allowed me to hold on. As much as she was a part of my life, this has always held precedence, even if it shouldn't have. But without it, I knew in my heart that I would be lost...
Yoshiru Long: I remember on Rapture, you said something about Team Lethality being at the top of the mountain and The Elite standing at the bottom. And as much as you may hate to hear this, Curt was right. We are at the bottom, you are at the top. But that mountain is crumbling from under you, Ryan. It is falling apart, turning to rubble. Look at what's happened lately. Danielle Lopez, albeit by cheap tactics, no longer holds the World Heavyweight Championship. The Princesses Of Lethality no longer hold the World Tag Team Championship. At one point, your little group looked like it was the pinnacle of this industry, but that's changed, Ryan. Danielle, she used that championship to define her legacy, and look what happened. I admit, when the journey is long, it is difficult to not use such an accomplishment to define yourself. But in the end, the defining moment for her become the fact that she no longer holds the World Heavyweight Championship...
I couldn't help but compare the scenario to my own life. It always seems that when you feel that you're on the top of the mountain, it crumbles beneath you. It's about what you take for granted, and as I knelt near her headstone, I couldn't help but feel overwhelmed. What once was the reason for being apart from her had become the one thing that binds me to her. I did it to offer her a better life...
I took in a breath, the cold chilling air filling my lungs. I exhaled and placed my hand upon the headstone.
Yoshiru Long: But you have a chance, Ryan. You have a chance at greatness. You have a chance to define your legacy. And no, it's not as simple as defeating me in the ring. You see, Ryan. When we step in to the ring at Rapture, it's about a lot more than simply getting a victory or falling in defeat. If you want your legacy defined, if you truly want to realize greatness, it's going to be about your performance. It's going to be about pushing me to my limit...pushing me over my limit. It's going to be about giving me everything you have, and more. I'm talking about pulling out all of the stops. If you limit yourself to the likings of the audience, your legacy will be tarnished. You can't care about what they think. You can't care about what the rest of the locker room thinks. At Rapture, you need to be prepared for anything and everything. And most of all, it means to stop hiding behind that Platinum Championship. Do you really think that the belt draped across your shoulder is going to define you? Do you think that it somehow makes you better than the likes of me...the likes of Curt...or the likes of anyone else not holding a championship in the locker room? Because if that's what you think, you're wrong.
I stood up and look upon the sea of headstones, each marking the loss of a loved one. Each marking the final resting place of a soul no longer residing on this Earth. The loved ones of these lost souls, each with a broken heart like mine. But each with a life to define...
Yoshiru Long: Ryan, at Rapture, it is me and you. It is your chance to truly define yourself. My advice, be who you truly are...not who everyone else wants you to be.
As the moonlight continued to shine down upon her headstone, down upon the headstones of many who were lost, I began to realize that I was not alone in how I felt. Each of these graves were markers of others who had taken a dark path. Who had given in, hoping to find something that filled the void inside of them. I might have lost her, but I didn't lose myself. With each breath of the icy air that I took in, I had proof that I was still alive...
Yoshiru Long: I'll see you at Rapture.
I looked up upon the stars as a smile came to my face. I had found clarity. I had found understanding. I had found the answers that I was looking for.[/font]