Post by Charlie Luzon on Sept 11, 2013 22:59:16 GMT -5
Yes, Charlie Luzon will so do what the Romans do (besides fighting naked) and prepare a tutorial on how to bake a cake, but not just any cake
A cake inspired by the PCW tag team champions themselves, Mi Pi Sexy. It's really delicious and very tasty and probably filled with ingredients for a person to have a "mildly successful career" in professional wrestling.
Now, Charlie of course is recording this all in his house on a recently redecorated kitchen that Martha Stewart herself would ne jealous of, containing all the necessities a kitchen should have and the ingredients that pretty much are just there for the sake of being there.....anyways, Here's Charlie!
Charlie Luzon
"Hello everybody and welcome to my beautiful home, where I Charlie Luzon will be baking one of my personal creations, a Mi Pi Sexy Cake, now we all know how Mi Pi Sexy are sometimes, so perhaps this dessert shouldn't be eaten at all, rather, if you don't want your bakery to succeed, want to scare off potential customers away or you are baking for a birthday party of a person you really don't like then this recipe is just right for you. Now lets get started shall we? You will need the following:
1 (18.25-ounce) package chocolate cake mix, brandless, nameless, pretty much not top quality kind
1 can prepared coconutโpecan frosting, the cheap 1 dollar kind you get at some expensive store that has a bargain bin
3/4 cup vegetable oil that really isn't vegetable oil and is the cheap imitation kind
4 large eggs from Jabroni Farms
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips that looks like shit
3/4 cup butter fat
1 2/3 cup granulated rock sugar
2 cups all-purpose flour, bleached and blonde
Now you are probably wondering how one should garnish this cake....well, personally, if you REALLY want to freak people out I would use:
Fish-shaped crackers
Fish-shaped candies
Fish-shaped solid waste
Fish-shaped dirt
Fish-shaped volatile organic compounds and sediment-shaped sediment
Candy-coated peanut butter pieces (shaped like fish)
1 cup lemon juice
Alpha resins
Unsaturated polyester resin
12 medium geosynthetic membranes
3 tbsp. rhubarb, on fire
1 cross borehole electromagnetic imaging rhubarb
2 tbsp. rhubarb juice
Adjustable aluminum head positioner
Slaughter electric needle injector
Injector needle gun
Cranial caps
and of course, top it all off with Chef's Chocolate Salty Balls, now lets get started shall we?"
Charlie first gets the butter fat, the eggs and the coconut pecan frosting from the table, he opens up the carton of eggs.
Charlie Luzon
"As you can see, these eggs are grown from Jabroni Farms, along with this carton of Jabroni milk that I stupidly forgotten from the recipe, oh dear, what have I done, oh well, just dump the milk, part of the frosting, the flour and cake mix all together in one bowl! Now grab the other bowl and crack the jabroni eggs inside them, oh look, they have the faces of each member of Mi Pi Sexy....lovely, crack the first one of Angelina whatsherface in the bowl like THIS! *Charlie just throws that egg in the bowl, part of the egg flew out of it*.....aww, heres a Reyna Carter egg, isn't it adorable? Now, if you gotta do it right peeps, insert this Reyna Carter egg inside the bowl and use a meat tenderizer, then just slam the tenderizer on the egg LIKE THIS! AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! *Charlie hammers away at the egg, making a mess"
A short pause ensues, Charlie needed time to breathe
Charlie Luzon
"Now, take a whisk and violently beat the eggs like so *comically whisks the eggs quickly as possible with some of it flying out of the bowl* after it looks like this, a hot mess, which is what will happen once I win against Reyna this week, pour it in the bowl with all the other stuff that in it, you can then proceed to viciously whisk the ingredients together."
Charlie then whisks while growling and screaming like a banshee.
Charlie Luzon
"Mmkay, pour all the other crap inside this bowl and then put it in the cake pan, bake it up to 400 degrees for like 2 miniatures, the time it takes for either girl to experience an orgasm. Hum the time away and all while you are waiting"
2 miniatures later....
Charlie Luzon
"VOILA!!!! What a masterpeice!!"
Make sure to enjoy this with Toxic Brand Coffee!!!